About the only thing that saved me yesterday was teaching. I had to give a class at 2pm so by the time the day was over I was in a decidedly better mood. I did go home and have a discussion with Josh about what had happened and what I thought we both should have done differently, but I was actually fairly pleasant about it.
I hate losing control like that. I’m actually kind of a control freak, so losing control of myself just makes me even madder. And the madder I get, the more out of control I get. It’s a vicious cycle that’s very hard to break.
So anyway, now we’re dealing with today. By the time it was all said and done yesterday we managed to get everything sorted out and when I went to bed everything was fine. This morning, not so much. He always sends me a text to let me know that he’s made it to work. I reply and then nothing. Nothing for more than 3 hours. He finally called on his break and I was kind of cold to him. I cut our conversation short and went to a meeting. When I got back there was a text waiting from him, just telling me he loves me. I replied and then he came back with “I’m home.” Apparently they didn’t have enough work today so they sent everyone home way early.
I hate it when he gets sent home like this. Mainly because it means we’re out that much pay, but also because it almost always means we’re going to fight. I’m stuck at work and can’t leave so I’m jealous. And it always seems like the days he gets sent home are the ones I absolutely have to be at work.
Anyway, I called him and we talked for a few minutes and I asked him if he wanted to come have lunch with me. He’s supposed to be on his way shortly. Sometimes the lunch thing buys a good afternoon, but not always.
The mood is still kind of iffy. It’s hard coming down off one of those episodes. They’re very draining, both physically and mentally. It usually takes me a few days to bounce back. I hope I do it quick this time because if I’m still tense come Saturday it’s going to be a very interesting weekend. Tension always seems to be worse when the kid is around. And since this is the second weekend in a row we’ve had her, it’s bound to be worse.
I’m really hoping I can find something cheap to do at home to entertain her with. I found out this morning that we can’t go to Josh’s dad’s house because they had something come up. So much for my great plans. Maybe with all of the stuff I have laying around the house we can find something to make. I’ve got plenty of projects I can do for myself, just pretty sure she’s not interested in any of them. I’ve tried teaching her how to crochet and knit but she doesn’t seem to want any part of that. Seriously, how can you be a girl and not like yarn?