I’m not sure I’ll even be able to write today, but I’ll try.
I feel numb, from the brain down. I have fleeting glimpses of feelings, but they’re so brief it’s hard to even put a label on them. I’m guessing this is a normal part of grieving, I just don’t know. It’s been so long since I lost anyone that I don’t remember what this is like. I guess that’s good.
The service was terrible. The pastor was from my sister’s church and he didn’t know my dad at all. He just kept reading these terrible verses and making this big sheep analogy. The nicest part was what the Masons did, that was lovely. The rest of it was just a show, starring my sister. I don’t really even want to talk about it, I’m just glad that’s over.
I can’t really think very well right now, and it’s frustrating me. I start thinking about something and then my brain goes in a totally different direction. I’m at work right now but I’m not sure how much longer I’ll stay. I managed to arrange a few things for next week and get some emails answered, but I haven’t been able to really tackle anything else. Not sure how long that will take to come back.
Found out that all of Josh’s tax return is going to back child support, so that completely sucks. I’m just glad we filed separate, otherwise they’d have taken my money, too. And we really needed that money.
I think that’s all I can do today. Not sure how regular I’ll post for awhile, but I’ll be around.