What a weekend…
I don’t even remember much of Friday night. It was kind of a blur. I got home and just pretty well dropped. I know we watched a movie – Daybreakers – but that’s about all I remember. He got drunk and was very lovey, which I guess is good. Saturday morning he was hard to get up again. I got up and started getting things ready for the party. When he finally got up we took a shower and went out for lunch and then finished running our errands. I got some laundry done and we finished getting the house picked up.
His friend Jeremy came over early and they went to a sporting goods store to get some hunting gear for Jeremy. I finished the food prep and waited for my friends to come. The party ended up being a huge success. The food was awesome and everyone seemed to have a really good time. It was the best birthday present ever. Josh of course got drunk.
Yesterday we had the getting up battle again. I hate that. Anyway, we got up and got a few errands run and then went and bought a new bed frame. My old bed had broken and we decided we were tired of dealing with a sloping bed. While we were there Josh spotted this dragonfly on the wall.
The yarn for Hanne also came this weekend and it’s lovely, too.
Josh found out this morning that he’ll be starting a new job next Monday. It’s working for the same company but in a different facility. He’ll be doing screen printing stuff, which should be more interesting than just working in a warehouse. I’m hoping this is an improvement. A pay increase would be nice, too. He’s going to need the money, he probably won’t be living with me much longer.
I caved and agreed that he could drink Friday and Saturday. I saw no way around it. But I put my foot down and said that Sunday was off limits. I wanted him to sleep good and be well rested for work today. So what did he do? Drank a beer after I went to sleep.
I’m pissed, not so much because he actually drank a beer, but more because he said he wouldn’t and then he did. It’s like I can’t trust him. And if he’s going to drink when he says he won’t, what the fuck else is he going to try to hide from me? I hate feeling like I can’t trust someone.
He apologized, but it was one of those really snotty “I’m only saying this to get you off my ass, I don’t really mean it” kind of sorrys. I fucking hate that. If you’re not sorry, then don’t say it. I hate people who say things they don’t fucking mean.
My mood is terrible today. I’m angry and hurt and I’m frustrated. He doesn’t see any kind of problem, it’s allegedly all in my head. Fuck that. It’s his problem and I’m sick and tired of having to deal with it. I am just about to the point of filing for divorce. Which is sad – we haven’t even been married an entire year yet.