back to the grind

Tags

alcohol, bipolar disorder, friends, kids, knitting, life, love, mental illness, recipes, sleep

What a weekend…

The dinner at Gemma’s was AWESOME.  We had a really good meal that her Josh cooked, she and I worked on our projects, the boys chatted, and we watched an episode of Game of Thrones.  Truly a phenomenal evening.  I’m really looking forward to going over next Saturday for her birthday.

Saturday morning I was able to get Josh up in time to go to the skating lesson.  It was boring.  I took the sock with and got it done to the point where I needed to bind off.  We went out to lunch and then ran a few errands before going home.  The kid was kind of quiet the whole time.  Anyway, we got home and Josh’s friend called and wanted to get together so we invited him over for dinner.  After the dinner the kid said she was really tired and wanted to read.  She ended up falling asleep on the couch at like 7:30.  Normally she’s quite the night owl but apparently she’d had a sleep over with her little cousin Friday night and stayed up way too late.  Josh carried her to her bed and we stayed up talking for several more hours.

Sunday he was a pain in the ass to get up again.  We finally made it to breakfast and the kid was acting weird again.  She finally went to go to the bathroom and ended up throwing up.  Josh and I finished eating and then took her home to her home.  What really pisses me off is that as soon as we got her home she perked right back up.  In fact, she was feeling so good that she went and played street hockey in the afternoon.  I’m really not sure what the hell was up with that, but she had better not pull this shit again.

Josh and I spent the rest of the afternoon running errands.  He was hell bent on getting a new phone so we had to go to the store and get one.  He spent pretty much the rest of the day playing with the phone.  I ended up doing all of the chores by myself.  Pissed off.  I made a really good dinner last night though – home made Chicken Cordon Bleu.  It was awesome.

Chicken Cordon Bleu

chicken breasts, nice and plump (one for each person)
sliced ham (the good stuff from the deli – a good sized slice for each person)
sliced Swiss cheese (the good stuff from the deli – one slice per person)
Shake and Bake, one envelope

cream of chicken soup, 1 can
1 C heavy whipping cream
1/2 C sour cream
2/3 C chicken broth

Pre-heat oven to 400 degrees.  Heat a pizza stone in the oven during the pre-heat phase.  Slice into the breasts to form a pocket.  Fold the cheese slices in half and wrap in ham.  Insert the ham/cheese bundle into the slit in the chicken.  Empty the Shake and Bake into a shallow bowl.  Coat the chicken breasts well.  Place on pre-heated pizza stone and bake for 45 minutes.

While the chicken is cooking, place sauce ingredients in a small sauce pan and mix well.  Allow to warm over low heat and stir until smooth.

I served it with a nice wild rice mix and some roasted veggies.  It was delish.  Definitely going to have to do this one again.

I had thought things were ok until this morning.  Josh was almost impossible to get up.  After he left I checked his usual hidey hole and lo and behold there were empties hidden in it.  I’d say I’m pissed, but really, you have to care about someone to be pissed at them and I really think I’m beyond the point of caring.  He specifically told me yesterday that he wasn’t going to drink and then he went ahead and did it anyway.  I so don’t care anymore.

I’ve started working on the holiday gifts.  I went and got some hat yarn this weekend and I’ve got a hat about half way done.  I hope to get at least these two hats finished this week.  Not sure what other project I’m going to work on, probably some socks for my mom.  I just need to measure her feet so I know how many stitches I’ll be working with.

The mood held fairly steady through the weekend.  I was able to get some decent sleep and since I got some of my stuff done I feel pretty good.  I didn’t really want to get up this morning myself, but I think that was mainly because I just knew that today would be rough.  And I was right.

knitter gone wild

Tags

bipolar disorder, friends, kids, knitting, life, love, mental illness, sleep

the elusive knitter in her native habitat

The sock, in bed, with me.  How kinky.  For anyone who’s actually interested, the shirt says “Drugs Are Bad – Unless You’re Bipolar.”  It’s one of my favorite t-shirts.  I worked on the sock until around 8 last night and got some good progress made.  I’ve got it with me again today and I plan on taking it on a field trip tonight.

I get to go to Gemma’s!!!  She was having a bit of a rough patch earlier this week and her Josh thought that perhaps having some company would help lift her spirits, so he invited us over for dinner.  I can’t wait!  What a perfect way to start the weekend.  And I have gifties for her.  This marks the official start of her birthday week, so really, I can’t show up empty handed.  Besides, this is a BIG birthday for her so it must be celebrated properly.

The mood is still quite good.  Better this morning actually.  I GOT SOME SLEEP!!!  The power of the Sleepy Time tea was AWESOME!!!  Still need to work on getting a proper routine established around this, but it helped and I’m happy.  YIPPEE!!!  Josh was not as wonderful last night as he was the other night, but I’m sure he’ll get better about this.  I explained to him why I think I need a bed time routine and he wasn’t opposed to the idea, just not really enthusiastic about it.  Typical.  Anyway, once I figure out what all I really need to do to be effective I should be able to get him to modify his behaviors in an appropriate way.

As long as this weekend goes well, I should still be in a good mood on Monday.  I don’t foresee any real problems, just kind of depends on how the kid is.  Josh has decided we really probably should go watch her ice skating lesson tomorrow since she’s been asking about it.  I reminded him that this means he’ll have to get up earlier tomorrow morning and he said he’ll try.  I’m not really holding my breath.  We’ll just have to wait and see how it goes I guess.

Not sure if I’ll pop in tomorrow morning or not.  Kind of depends on how early I get up and whether or not I get any good pics taken tonight at Gem’s.  Catch ya later kids!

and now for something completely different

Tags

mental illness, sleep

Well, not quite.  Sounds interesting though.

So I’ve been chatting with a new pal this afternoon – hi brittainy!  She suggested a bed time routine to help with the sleep issues.  So, I asked Josh to go to the store on his way home and fetch me some Sleepy Time tea.  I’m going to make myself a nice cup of tea about an hour before bed, turn the electronics off, put the knitting down, and try to let my body naturally relax.  Sounds like a really good plan.  And it makes a ton of sense.  I have routines for everything else, why not for bedtime?  So yes, tonight, we try.  Hopefully I have something interesting to report in the morning.

sock it to me

Tags

bipolar disorder, kids, knitting, life, love, mental illness, motivation, sleep

sock in progress

The sock is progressing nicely.  I’ve turned the heel and started work on the leg.  Shouldn’t be too much longer now.  I’ve already made about 3″ of progress today between waiting at the doc’s office and lunch time.  Hopefully I’ll make more good progress tonight between doing a load of laundry and making brownies.

It’s gearing up to be a busy weekend.  We’re having dinner with Gems and her hubs tomorrow night, pick up the kid Saturday morning, craft stuff Saturday afternoon/evening, then who knows what Sunday morning.  We have to have the kid home by 2pm on Sunday for her street hockey game.  Oh yea.  Josh has suggested perhaps we go see a movie this weekend, the new Pirates – Band of Misfits – I’m just not sure I want to have to sit still in the dark for that long.

The sleep thing is still pretty frustrating.  I had a hard time falling asleep again last night and woke up feeling almost hung over.  I’ll give this a few more days and if it’s not better by next week I’m going to call the doc.

The doc visit this morning was with a regular GP.  I’ve got an infected cyst on my leg that hurts like hell.  I had hoped she’d give me some pain pills for it, but all I got is a lousy Rx for an antibiotic.  Sigh…

The mood has been pretty decent lately, thank ceiling cat.  I don’t seem to get too angry or upset these days and I’ve got more patience than usual.  Maybe it’s just that I’m gearing up to be in “mom” mode again.  Hard to say.  I try to have extra patience with her and Josh on the weekends because it’s not their fault they annoy me, at least not most of the time.  I am going to try to get her to clean some of her stuff out and maybe take some things home.  She’s got this thing about leaving shit at our house and it fucking drives me nuts.  TAKE IT HOME!!!  I’ve got enough issues with Josh spreading his shit out all over the place, I don’t need her getting in on the act as well.

to sleep, perchance to dream

Tags

bipolar disorder, knitting, life, love, mental illness, motivation, sleep, work

It would appear that my sleep clock has gotten fucked up AGAIN.  I tried going to bed at 10 last night and was still awake at midnight, and again at 1, and 2, and 3…  I think all told I got maybe 3-4 hours of sleep last night.  I’m kind of slow today because of it.  And I’m not sure what’s going on.  Josh and I were getting along, I took my pills with dinner, I wasn’t overly worried about anything – it just doesn’t make sense.  I finally got out of bed at 7 this morning and made it to work at 8.  My boss wasn’t upset, just a little concerned about me as usual.  It’s just very frustrating.

Josh was really good to me last night.  When he saw that I wasn’t falling asleep like usual he cuddled me and rubbed my back and head to try to soothe me.  It was wonderful.  I thanked him for it this morning and he said he knew I’d have done the same for him.  Too right.

The mood seems to be ok, I just don’t have a whole lot of energy.  I’ve got stuff I need to try to get done today, but between the lack of sleep and the overabundance of meetings, I’m just not sure how much I’ll get done.  Days like today are frustrating.  I know there are things I need to do but it seems like the universe is determined to make sure I can’t do them.  I guess I’d say if I had to try to put a label on the mood right now I’d say it’s normal, perhaps a touch low.

The sock is progressing well.  I got a little done last night before I gave up and I brought it with me again today.  Not sure I’ll be able to get it done by the end of the weekend now or not, guess it just depends on how things go the next few days.  I’d really like to get it done so that I can move on to something else.

I know I really need to finish the things I have started before I take on anything else, it’s just that nothing I have going really seems that interesting anymore.  And that’s sad.  I need to try though, otherwise I’ll never really accomplish anything.  Maybe I need to try to make some kind of thing to hang out over in the side bar to keep track of everything…

not much to see here

Tags

bipolar disorder, kids, knitting, life, love, mental illness, motivation, work

Things around here are pretty solid right now.  Solid means boring.  So sorry…

I bought our plane tickets last night for the Florida trip.  I’m still waiting to hear back from my uncle about whether or not we really can stay with him.  I’m hoping to hear something later today.  If we can’t stay with him we’ll have to rearrange our plans.  Not cool.

The sock is coming along nicely.  I managed to get some progress made at lunch yesterday and then last night after dinner I worked on it for another hour or so.  I’m hoping to get it done by the end of the weekend.

Things with Josh seem to be pretty good.  We had a minor upset yesterday when I got home from work, but it was very minor and only lasted a few minutes.  This morning seems to be going fairly well so far, which is always nice.

The mood seems to be fairly stable again, which is also nice.  I haven’t had any major problems lately and I’m enjoying it.  I also seem to have some of my energy back, which is a total bonus.  I’m hoping to be able to hide in my office and power through some stuff today.  We’ll see how that goes.

I’m kind of trying to figure out the weekend plans already.  Friday night we’re going to have dinner with Gemma and her husband, which I am totally looking forward to.  Just not entirely sure what to do with the kid yet.  We’ve got a ton of craft stuff we could potentially do, just not sure what she’ll be in the mood for.  I’d like to spend some time working on the sock so depending on what she wants to do, I might just be able to do that.  I think maybe what we’ll do is drag out all of her craft stuff and decide what we’re keeping and what we can get rid of.  No sense keeping a bunch of crap she’ll never do.

We also don’t know yet when we have to take her home on Sunday.  She’s apparently starting to play street hockey and her games will be on Sundays.  The ex is supposed to be getting me a schedule sometime this week.  Not sure why she feels it necessary to keep the kid completely busy with activities, but whatever.  Right now she’s doing ice skating lessons Saturday mornings, karate Friday nights, and now the street hockey on Wednesdays and Sundays.  Seems like an awful lot of stuff for a 9 year old girl to do.

weekend update

Tags

bipolar disorder, crochet, knitting, life, love, mental illness, motivation

That was pretty damn awesome.

We got along 99% of the time this weekend.  About the only time we didn’t was first thing in the morning, and that’s pretty much to be expected.  We got some things done, we hung out together, went shopping…  Yeah, awesome.

Also awesome is this…

SOCK!!!

I finally got the bind off edge fixed and it really does fit.  I cast on for the second one last night and got the toe done.  I brought it with me today for my lunch time knitting.  I’m hoping this means my mojo is back.  While we were out shopping yesterday Josh picked out two more balls of sock yarn for the next pair.  I had to tell him and Mom that I’ll take turns making socks for them both.  Eventually I’ll sneak a pair for myself in.

I’m working on another crocheted shawl and not having much luck with it.  The pattern is called Neptune’s Tears and it’s not written that well.  I just kind of got stuck with it and I’m not exactly in the mood to bring it back out yet.  It’ll sit in time out for a while.  I still need to block Fantasm, but I haven’t really felt like being hunched over the bed for that long.

I’m going to try to buy the plane tickets for our trip this week.  We really need to get going on planning all that.  We’re talking about leaving near the end of May and that’s fast approaching.

The mood seems to be doing pretty good.  I did get a little frustrated with Josh this weekend about the whole sleeping in thing, but that wasn’t too bad.  The only other real issue we had was deciding about lunch yesterday.  He wasn’t really giving me any suggestions but he was shooting down all of my ideas.  I just went outside and put some new stickers on my car and waited for him to make up his mind.  No big deal.

so much to do

Tags

bipolar disorder, kids, knitting, life, love, mental illness, motivation, normal, sleep

Just finished writing up my to do list.  I’ve got so many things to do I figured I should start trying to plan my attack early.

Josh is still snoozing.  I’m listening to him snore quietly and every now and then Evie gets in on the action.  It’s pretty peaceful actually.

He did get some laundry done for me yesterday and we got the line drawing of the rose scanned.  I’m still not entirely sure I can help him do what he’s wanting with it, but I’ll try.  He also made killer chili for dinner last night.  That boy might not know how to cook much, but he makes the best chili I’ve ever had.  If I thought I could get him to nail down the recipe I’d share it, but it’s never the same twice.

I didn’t really get much done last night.  I had one of those times where I had all of these great ideas but none of them sounded worthwhile.  I actually got everything out of my project bag and looked at it and promptly rejected everything.  Hopefully today that’s not the case.

Josh and I actually spent several hours just sitting in the garage smoking and talking last night.  I know, real exciting.  It was actually a really nice time.  We talked about all kinds of things and, since there were no electronic distractions, it was real conversation.  Awesome in a way I don’t think I can adequately describe.

A lot of what we talked about was his daughter.  I told him again that I’m positive I made the right decision not to have kids of my own.  On the weekends we get her I’m usually all excited Saturday morning to see her and start doing things, but by 4pm on Sunday I’m ready to kick her ass out the door.  I just know in my heart that I could NOT do the kid thing on a daily basis.  He admitted that he couldn’t either.  He also told me, several times, what a great job he thinks I do with her.  That was really nice to hear.  And he told me countless times how happy he is being with me and how glad he is that I continued to pursue him when we were dating.  He was just as much of a challenge back then as he is now sometimes.  I’ve always told him that when I look into his eyes I see all of this potential just waiting to be tapped.  It’s totally true.

Anyway, the weekend is off to a pretty decent start.  I’m just waiting until 9 to try to wake him.  I’ve been enjoying some home made mocha and getting my list together.  I’m also trying to figure out how best to start the Photoshop lessons.  If we manage to get something interesting done I’ll try to share it with y’all.

The mood right now is holding pretty steady.  I actually slept pretty well last night and feel pretty good right now.  I know that being productive this weekend will only serve to boost that.  I’d say I feel normal right now, and normal is not a bad thing on a Saturday morning.  As long as my motivation comes back, there’s no reason this shouldn’t be a truly awesome weekend.  Here’s hoping.

finally friday

Had a completely unproductive night.  We had dinner then sat around watching tv.  Boring, but kind of nice.  This morning we had the getting up battle again.  It got ugly for a few minutes and then it settled down.  Things are back to as ok as they ever are when he has the day off and I don’t.

I’m waiting for a co-worker to bring me some lunch and then it’ll be time to teach.  Josh is supposed to be running some laundry for me, making chili for dinner tonight, and doing the line drawing of the rose.  He brought me to work this morning so he’s supposed to be coming up shortly before I get off so I can scan the rose.  I just hope he really gets it done in time.

I’m going to try to force myself to be productive this weekend.  There’s a ton of stuff I need to do.  Hope y’all have a good weekend.

solutions

Josh just brought me the tickets.  I sold them to a former co-worker for face value.  She’s on her way to get them.  Problem solved.  Now I can go home and have a relaxing evening and take my time getting up in the morning.  I love it when a plan comes together.