Things with Josh and I seem to be about back to normal. We had a discussion last night when I got home and got stuff straightened out. I had him look me in the eyes and tell me the truth – that I really am the best ever. He agreed and I told him he was goddamn right, I’m the best that ever was and ever will be and he fucking well better not forget that. We had a good laugh and that seemed to break the tension.
We went shopping for some trip supplies last night. I really didn’t want to go, it was already after 7 and I was tired, but he insisted. I couldn’t quite find everything I wanted, but we got most of it. When we were leaving the store Josh told me that he thought maybe I’d enjoy seeing the sunset for a change. I was less mad after that.
The rest of the evening was alright. I got home and got into pj’s and laid down to watch tv. I made it until about 9:30 before I just couldn’t keep my eyes open anymore. This morning I woke up at 4:17 – just like yesterday. This morning I got up and went to the bathroom and then promptly went right back to bed. I got up when my alarm went off and didn’t have any trouble. I took my pills last night a little later – around 6:35 – and that seems to have helped. Gotta try to remember that when we’re traveling.
I’m not sure why I’m so grumpy this morning but I am. Things with Josh were going alright until he told me that he’d talk to me at lunch – which I took as a dismissal. “I’m too busy to keep chatting, you’ll just have to wait until I call.” That’s how I took it and I got hurt. Evidently that’s not what he meant, but the hurt has happened and there’s just no fixing it right now. I’m still not sure if I’m actually going to answer the phone when he does call.
I think part of the problem is that I haven’t touched my knitting in almost a week now. My first purple sock just needs to be bound off and I can’t seem to bring myself to do it. I’ve got it with me today and I’m really hoping to get that done. I’d like to get the other one started so I can take it on the trip. Not getting my fiber therapy definitely takes a toll on me. I just haven’t felt like I’ve had the energy to give it proper attention lately. And that sucks.