I’m wondering if maybe I really did get through to him on Sunday. When I got home from work yesterday he had already set the trash and yard waste out on the curb, bought me a rose, and got the evening pills set out. I asked him what the deal was and he said that he was trying to make up for the weekend. This is very much not like him. He’s usually stubborn enough that he doesn’t think he’s done anything wrong when he gets drunk like that and so there’s no reason to apologize or try to make amends. Maybe this time I really got his attention by saying I wanted a divorce. I’m honestly not sure. I guess I just have to try to enjoy him being nice while it lasts, because I know it won’t last long.
I’d like to say that I got Judie’s sock done last night, but I didn’t. I decided I really needed a little break to make something for me – something that could be started and finished the same night. So I made this…
It’s just a very simple cotton wash cloth in my favorite colors. I’ve made these before and really enjoy them. The pattern is super simple and I really like the feel of these. Sometimes you need to make yourself a little something useful, just because you can. I’ve got the sock with me and plan to work on it at lunch again. I’m hoping to get it done today.
I finally slept last night, which was awesome. I think I was just finally exhausted enough that my brain didn’t have a choice. I fell asleep shortly before 10 and stayed asleep until Josh’s alarm went off this morning. I really needed that.
I seem to have figured out how to stay really productive at home, but I’ve lost it at work for some reason. I taught that class yesterday morning and then helped someone with their website, but that was about it. Maybe it’s because this week is so goofy, I’m just not sure. I’ve got a meeting at 10 this morning but so far nothing else. Maybe after lunch I’ll be able to make some progress.
The mood is doing ok I guess. I don’t seem to feel too strongly one way or the other, so I suppose that’s an alright thing. I’ve been taking my meds like a good girl, which I know helps. I’ve also been trying to pinpoint things in my life that are causing me any kind of stress and then figuring out what I can do to minimize that. Lately it’s been dealing a lot with clutter and mess. I’ve started cleaning the dirty things that have been annoying me and tidying up the messy things. It’s getting better.
I’ve also been working on my morning routine. Today I added two new things – washing my face with a special cleanser and brushing my teeth. I’m terrible when it comes to oral hygiene. I figure I’ll probably never be the kind of person to brush twice a day, but if I can get once in, that should be ok. I guess part of it is that I’m finally realizing all of the little things I’ve been neglecting for so long are finally adding up and threatening to over take me. If I can figure out how to tackle just one thing at a time, I’ll be back on top of this stuff in short order.