The hypomania is definitely over. I’m kind of sorry to see it go, but I’m glad I was able to prevent the crash with the help of shrinky-poo. I feel like I’m just kind of easing back into what passes as “normal” for me.
The biggest thing I’m missing right now is the really good mood. I’m back to being fairly irritable and I’m snapping at people again. I snapped at my boss yesterday and had to apologize. I guess it wasn’t too bad because she said not to worry about it and then we spent a good 15 minutes talking about food. That’s always a good sign with her. I just feel like my funny has left me and what took it’s place is snark. Not really a good thing.
I do seem to still be able to dredge up a respectable amount of energy during the day. I got damn near everything I needed to done at work yesterday. I’ve got just a small bit left to finish before a meeting at 9, but it shouldn’t take more than about 10 minutes. The problem seems to be that I’m running out of steam by the time I get home. Last night I was able to get the evening chores done, but I wasn’t able to walk and I didn’t spend any time with the sock. I was in bed laying down by 7:30. That’s really no way to live.
Josh and I fought off and on all day yesterday, and it looks like today might be a repeat. I’d like to say that I’ll just ignore him today, but I’m fairly sure I won’t be able to pull that off. I do have a way to get back at him though. Gemma invited me over for a Girls’ Night this Saturday. I’m going to head over in the afternoon and we’re going to craft then go to our favorite Mexican restaurant for dinner. I haven’t told Josh yet. The really nifty thing? I’ll be leaving him alone all day with that brat spawn of his. BWAHAHAHA! I’m figuring I’ll wait to tell him until I leave Saturday afternoon. No sense in giving him any time to try and talk me out of going. I really need this. I haven’t had good time away from him in ages.
The sleep last night was a little better. I probably shouldn’t have had the big glass of chocolate milk before laying down – I’m sure that’s why I got up at midnight to go to the bathroom. But I fell right back asleep and then didn’t really have any trouble getting up when Josh left this morning. I’m not entirely sure what the Clonidine is supposed to do other than make me a little sleepy, it certainly isn’t making me dream less. Last night I think I dreamed the whole night and it was weird. Not scary at all, just weird. And I actually remembered it for awhile after waking up, which is quite unusual for me.
The mood this morning is a little iffy. I’m feeling pretty cranky and that’s never a good way to start the day. I’m trying very hard not to unleash on Josh. He hasn’t actually done anything wrong yet so there’s no reason to. I just can’t seem to shake the feeling that he needs to be punished. It’s kind of terrible really.
Mental in the Midwest 