Mental in the Midwest

Daily Archives: August 8, 2012

sick

08 Wednesday Aug 2012

Posted by Kat in Uncategorized

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anxiety, bipolar disorder, borderline personality disorder, life, mental illness, stress

It would appear that I really did get the virus that’s going around.  I’m running a fever, have a terrible headache, and my entire body hurts.  I ended up leaving right after my second class yesterday because I just couldn’t stand it.  I called in again this morning.  I’m hoping that taking some time to rest gets me back on track for tomorrow.  I have one more class to teach this week.

Things with Josh didn’t go that well yesterday.  I got it in my head that since I was leaving work he should leave too and I got really pissed off when he didn’t.  I’m glad now that he decided to stay – we really do need the money.  I’m also not sure what we would have done since we don’t have any money and the carpenters were here working on the stairs.  But I’d gotten it in my mind that he wasn’t coming home because he didn’t want to be with me and didn’t love me anymore.  Terrible thing to think, but what are you gonna do.

So we fought a little and when he came home I was fairly good and pissed off.  I actually went so far as to type up the divorce papers.  I didn’t print them though, I just couldn’t bring myself to take that final step.  We talked and worked things out.  The rest of the evening was pretty quiet since I didn’t feel good.

So far today hasn’t been bad except for me feeling like I want to die.  I’m trying to get just a few little things done around the house to keep myself occupied, but I know I really shouldn’t push myself to do too much today or I’ll totally defeat the purpose of taking a day off to rest.

The mood overall has been pretty weird.  I’m very up when I’m teaching and very down most of the rest of the time.  I really think a big part of it is all the stress I’m dealing with at work right now.  It’s hard to be in a good mood when you’re rushing around like a chicken with your head cut off.

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