Tags
bipolar disorder, kids, life, limits, love, mental illness, motivation, stress, work
So I got home and told him that while he’d had a great day mine had sucked. I told him that I felt unloved and unwanted. He gave me the snotty sorry and expected that to make everything better.
Today looks like it’ll be a repeat of yesterday, except that I won’t be getting home until late and that means no quiet time. I’m sure that by the time I get there he’ll be entrenched in the television and I won’t get more than a minute of his attention.
I tried telling him this morning not to call at lunch. I’m really seriously not in the mood. But he’s not getting it. He’s so fucking stupid.
I asked him last night to make sure that I was awake before he left this morning so that I could maybe have time to get the morning chores done. Nope. Too much effort required on his part. I guess tomorrow I’ll go back to using the alarm on my phone. But I probably still won’t do the chores. Why should I? He doesn’t appreciate it.
As far as I’m concerned he can just go fuck himself. And I’m sure he will. Cuz you know that helps him sleep and stuff.
The mood is pure and utter shit. I feel like I never have enough energy to do anything anymore. And I know that working late tonight and tomorrow is going to throw me off. I brought my pills with me, but I’m not sure when I’ll be able to take them because I’m still not entirely sure how long I’ll be teaching tonight. One place I looked said it’s an hour and the other place says 30 minutes. I asked my boss to try to find out for me. I hate this not knowing bullshit.
And of course it’s not like I’ve got a nice relaxing weekend to look forward to at the end of all this. Oh no, we’ve got that fucking brat again. And since I won’t have time in the evenings this week to do some chores I’ll be having to work around her and Josh this weekend. I have news for both of them – I ain’t in the mood for their shit so I’m going to do my own thing and ignore them. Fuck the both of them.
Mental in the Midwest 