Yesterday ended up turning out really well. Like amazingly well. Both at work and at home.
Josh started saying really nice things to me after lunch. Like sweet, flirty things. I thanked him and told him how much that means to me. Then when he got home he did all of the chores for me – ALL of them. So I came home to a clean house and a hot meal and there was nothing for me to do but relax. It was well and truly amazing. I went to bed early because I was exhausted from working 11 hours.
I woke up this morning at 4am and felt great. I was rested, my body felt good, my brain felt terrific. I got up and drank my mocha and had a cigarette and started working on the sock. When Josh’s alarm went off I got back into bed to snuggle with him for a few minutes. That was great until I tried to kiss his neck. He jumped back and pushed me away. I got hurt. So I got up and started knitting again.
His alarm kept going off and he was having no part of it. I tried gently to wake him and again he pushed me away. I gave up. I decided that if he was going to be grumpy to me I was just going to leave him alone.
When the time finally came that he really needed to get up he did. He got dressed and then tried to give me a kiss. I wanted nothing to do with him. He yelled at me and stomped off upstairs. Like an idiot I followed him. I told him about pushing me away and he gave me the snotty apology again.
When he got to work he apologized for being difficult to wake up. I told him that all I had wanted was to give him kisses, but that it was ok because I’m sure someone out there wants my kisses. He claims that he does. I told him not to worry, go have a good day, I’ll talk to you when I get home. He insists that he’ll talk to me on break.
I don’t want to talk to him. I told him I’m not arguing with him today, and I’m not. I just can’t do this. One day you’re super good to me and the next you’re shoving me away? I don’t think so.
I was polite enough to let him know that I’d made it to work, but I’m sure he’s going to punish me by not saying anything until his break time. But come break time, I won’t be talking.
I know I’ve mentioned that this is our busiest time of year. The next several days are actually the busiest. This morning I have to go over to our new lab and handle drop in training for 4 hours. That 4 hour span covers both of his first breaks. I had every intention of telling him about this last night, but he wasn’t in the mood to talk and I was so tired I could barely form a complete thought. And of course now he’s ignoring me.
Two can play that game.
The mood yesterday afternoon was awesome. I felt really good about how things were going, I felt loved, I felt virtually on top of the world. Now I feel miserable.
And starting next week we’ll be having to staff this new lab, which means a rotating schedule. I won’t be in my regular office, I won’t have my normal tools, and my regular daily routines will be fucked. Fortunately I picked a schedule that should (hopefully) minimize the disruptions. I’ll be working there Thursday afternoons from 2 – 4 and then Friday from 9 – 3. What I’m really hoping is that this means I’ll get to start leaving work at 3 on Fridays. It’s still going to suck, but I’m hoping leaving early helps make it suck a little less.