hope

Tags

bipolar disorder, borderline personality disorder, fight the good fight, hope, life, love, mental illness

This might ramble a little, bear with me kids…

I write about most of the aspects of my life.  I write about the difficult things, the mental things, the fun things, the personal things, the crafty things, and – as often as possible – the normal things.  This blog is a snap shot of my life as I’m living it.  Some days I have really boring things to write about and some days I have drama, but in all honesty, doesn’t everyone?

I probably write way more bad things about my husband than I do good things.  Let’s be real for a minute – it’s more necessary to get the bad stuff off my chest.  I do try to tell you about the funny, sweet, wonderful things he does – but sometimes it seems like there are more bad things than good.  But he’s a good man at heart, and I know, deep down, that he really does love me.

I’ve got problems.  I bet you’ve got problems, too.  And it’s good for us to talk about those problems.  You reading about my difficulties may make you feel just a little bit better about your own, and that’s good – that’s what I’m sort of here for.  I want you all to know that you’re not alone.

I try to write about so many different things because my life is varied.  No two days are ever the same.  Some of the same problems keep coming up – like how to get Josh to better control his drinking or how I can get better sleep – but really, my life is all about the change that happens around me.  And I love that.

My goal, if I’m to be perfectly honest with y’all, is that someone reads what I write and is able to think to themself, “wow, she’s got all of these challenges and yet she gets up and fights for herself every single day.  Maybe I can do that, too.”

We’re all fighting.  Some of us fight mental illnesses, some fight addictions, some fight bad habits – but we all fight.  Some days we gain ground, some days we lose ground, but the important thing is this…

WE MUST NEVER GIVE UP HOPE.

welcome back

Tags

alcohol, bipolar disorder, family, kids, knitting, life, love, mental illness, work

The semester started here today.  That means all of the full time staff is back and ALL of the students are back.  It’s a fucking zoo out there.

The weekend was not what I had hoped for, but in some ways was better than I expected.  Josh and I ended up having a terrible fight Friday afternoon because he got beer for Saturday.  We yelled at each other for about an hour before things finally settled down.  The rest of the evening was good.

Saturday he actually got up with me and we took a shower before I went and got a pedicure with my mom.  After that we went and got the brat and had lunch.  I hadn’t had time last week to do any of the chores so that’s how I spent most of my day.  The kid worked on making herself a baby doll blanket.  Josh started drinking his beer after dinner and things seemed to be alright.  He was a pain in the ass to get up Sunday morning, but that’s pretty typical.  We all had breakfast and then it was time to take the brat to the ice rink.

On the way home Josh saw a sign for a car show at the high school by our house.  I told him I’d be happy to go with him after we had some lunch.  The weather was awesome and I knew it would make him happy, so I figured why not.  We walked around for almost an hour taking pictures and admiring the cars.  It was actually a really nice time.  When we got home I uploaded all of the photos for him and then we spent some quiet time together.

I didn’t manage to finish the sock, but I’m only about 5″ from being done.  I’m trying to have it finished by Friday so that I can have my mom take it to Florida next week when she goes on vacation with my sister and her family.

Today at work has been weird, and I think it’s going to get weirder.  We have this girl who is the worst control freak I’ve ever met, and she’s going crazy.  We’re supposed to be doing this welcome week event today and she told my boss on Friday that she’s doing everything wrong.  So my boss flipped on her and told her she can just do it herself.  I usually do about half the work for this – not this year.  My boss is actually leaving today before the event starts.  I told her I’ll do the bare minimum I have to, but nothing extra.  If this little girl thinks she can put on the big girl pants and run, let her.