, , , , , , , , ,

We fought again last night, pretty bad.  Lots of yelling and name calling.  I’m really tired of this shit.  I feel like little more than an empty shell of a person.

It seems like every time I think things will get better they get worse.  I just don’t seem capable of keeping my shit together for more than a few days at a time.  I’m always looking for things to be mad at him about.

I just don’t know what to do anymore.  I was so wound up from fighting last night that I barely slept again.  I even tried taking one of his Ambien to see if it would help, but I guess the anxiety was too much and so it did nothing.  I’ll head to the pharmacy when I get paid and get some Melatonin and see if that helps.

The mood is just utterly terrible right now.  Everything he does hurts me it seems.  And now I’m starting to physically hurt from the depression that seems to be setting in.  I just can’t seem to win.