I’ve been on the antibiotic for 5 days now and I’ve seen no improvement. If anything it’s gotten worse. The cough is terrible and it’s not been uncommon for me to cough up bloody bits. I surrender. After my meeting this morning I’m hauling myself into the ER. This is NOT just a sinus infection. I’ve tried being strong, but this shit is totally kicking my ass. I haven’t slept in a week now and that’s not good for me at all. I need help and I need it soon. I’ll try to post tonight when I get home.
I still feel like utter shit and Josh is still pretty well an asshole. Not much new here. I went to the dermatologist yesterday and didn’t really get any answers. She confirmed the diagnosis and told me it’s manageable, but not curable. So she gave me a topical antibiotic to use and some kind of medicated wash. She also gave me a steroid for my eczema and a recommendation for a lotion that won’t give me a rash. And she shaved off a suspicious looking mole. I found out the hard way that lidacaine does nothing for me. And yes, I found that out after she’d started taking the razor to my leg.
I slept very poorly again last night. The problem seems to be when I try to lay down; I guess I just don’t breathe right. I’ve been trying to use 2 pillows to prop myself up, but it’s not helping much. I still wake up coughing almost constantly. I’m very honestly not sure how much longer I can go on like this.
The mood is, rather obviously, shitty. I’m still having to take care of Josh even though I can barely take care of myself. It’s ridiculous if you ask me. He’s 39 years old, he should know how to take care of himself by now, but no, apparently I’m the only one with the recipe for making sandwiches and brewing coffee. SERIOUSLY?!
I haven’t knit since sometime last week and it’s starting to take a toll. I just don’t feel like I can concentrate properly and I don’t want to fuck anything up. I know I need to get back to it soon if I’m going to make my deadlines. I just hope I start feeling better soon so that I feel like I can get back to it.