I’m not sure what’s going on, but I’ve apparently stopped sleeping. AGAIN.
Sunday night I expected it – that seems to be my “thing” these days. I dealt with it, yesterday sucked a little, not a big deal. Last night I spent most of the evening on the sofa with Mom watching Dancing with the Stars. I watch to make fun of it. Anyway, it was a fairly quiet evening. Josh got home and we got along for the short time we had to and I thought things were fine. I laid down and tried to go to sleep but no matter what I did I simply could not get comfortable.
This morning I sort of woke up when he left but then I promptly fell back asleep. I finally woke when I should have been leaving the house. I fired off a quick email to my boss apologizing and telling her I wasn’t going to make it and then fell back asleep again. I’ve just finally gotten up and I’m not sure how I’m even going to get dressed today.
This lack of motivation and poor sleep lately is just fucking killing me. There are about a million things I really SHOULD be doing and yet none of them are getting done. I’ve stopped doing all but the most essential of the chores and it’s really starting to take a toll. I’m hoping today to be able to kick my own ass and get some things done for a change.
I really need to get back to a normal schedule again. I think with things being off lately that it’s just completely throwing me. My brain does not deal well with change and disruption. I need my routines, thank you very much. The thing that really sucks is that Josh is about to change routines for school again. Not sure I’m up for this.
I’ve got an appointment with T-bone and shrinky-poo on Monday, perhaps they can help me sort some things out. After that I’m going to kidnap Gemma and we’re going shopping. Can’t wait for that. But again, ton of things that really need to get done next week and I’m not sure I’m up to the challenge.
What I’m really not sure I’m up to is the visit with the brat this weekend. I know Josh is all excited because he actually has money for a change, but he doesn’t seem to realize that just like he can’t buy my love, he can’t buy her love either. And going shopping with her is painful – she won’t come out and tell you if she wants something or not. You have to ask her a couple of times and then maybe, MAYBE, she’ll give you an opinion. It’s awful.
Anyway, I’m going to see what all I can get done today. I need to try to take advantage of this “found” time and make it work to my advantage. The mood is not too bad this morning so maybe it’ll be a decent day. I’m just hoping that Josh and I can get some good time together later.