I’m back in my cozy little office trying to clean up from having been gone for a week. My email is all taken care of I just haven’t cleared my phone messages yet. Of course I just realized that my phone was still being forwarded to the lab…
I’m actually happy to be back at work. I’ve got fairly well established routines here that I’ve missed. Routines are good for me, they keep me sane. Well, as sane as something who has Bipolar and Borderline can ever be. It wasn’t great having to get up so early this morning, but I think I’m doing fairly well. The coffee cup has been filled a few times and the sun lamp is on. Depending on what all happens today it should be fairly quiet. I’ve only got one scheduled appointment so far and that’s not until 2.
I decided that the butterflies were just too labor intensive to try to get done by next weekend so I started a bunny instead. The pattern absolutely sucks. I’m kind of just using it as a reference now and winging it. I’ve got it a little better than half way done. I should (hopefully) be able to crank out the rest tonight and then make the other one starting tomorrow. For lunch today I have the sock with me. Yes, I’m still working on the sock. I wasn’t able to make much progress on it over vacation either.
Things with Josh seem to be going alright. Yesterday was probably the best Sunday we’ve had together in a long time. We both slept until almost 9 which was totally weird for me. It felt like I’d slept half my day away which bothered me, but we just kind of relaxed all day so it wasn’t too bad. I sent Josh and my uncle to the grocery store to get supplies for dinner so that Mom and I could have a few quiet moments in the house. Otherwise we didn’t do much of anything.
I’m really glad I took that week off. I feel much more centered and relaxed than I would have otherwise been. I feel like Josh and I were able to get back to level ground with each other and that MAYBE now we stand a chance of getting things back to where they should be. A lot of it will depend on how this week plays out. We’ll get the brat next weekend and have my nieces’ birthday party to contend with. If we can get through all of that unscathed, things should be good.
I really am tempted not to take him with for Christmas. Being over at my sister’s for Thanksgiving just showed me how much he doesn’t like being around people when he isn’t drunk. I don’t want to have to put up with that again. I guess I’ll just have to wait and see how things go.
Since it seems like we probably will still be together I really need to get going on the rest of the Christmas gifts. I still don’t think I’ll make anything for the brat, but Josh has an adopted little sister and 2 nieces that will need bunnies. Or monkeys. Or something, who knows. And I really should finish that other mitten for him, even though I’m pretty sure I’m not going to get the rose painting he promised me. Typical Josh, full of empty promises.
The mood isn’t too bad right now. I’m a little tired still – I did my usual Sunday night insomnia thing again. Hopefully between the nicotine and the caffeine I can stay awake. Josh is already talking about having sex this afternoon, so I guess I shouldn’t show up at home exhausted. Although he only mentioned it once and hasn’t really been doing any flirting, so maybe I can get off the hook after all.