I really just shouldn’t have gotten out of bed this morning.
Things with Josh have been terrible all day. He didn’t wake me up so I was late for work. He hasn’t said anything pleasant. All he’s done is harass me and then ignore me. I’m fucking sick of it.
But everything will be fine when I get home and he fucks me.
Sure, like I want any part of THAT. And it’s all my fault. It always is. I should have just jumped out of bed when he left this morning and had my special rainbow panties on so I could be chipper and happy all fucking day.
But I didn’t, and I’m miserable, and he’s just making it worse.
I told him not to call at lunch and he did anyway. I told him not to text me anymore and he did anyway. Then I tell him he never listens and he insists that he does. Seriously? No, he doesn’t listen and he doesn’t care what I want and so I’m DONE.
Fortunately I was able to get tons of stuff done this morning in spite of the shit going on with him so I don’t feel terrible about not doing much this afternoon. It just sucks that it has to be this way. It makes me miserable and I hate being miserable.
Now I have to ride out the rest of the afternoon and decide if I’m going home or not. I really don’t want to. He’ll be there and he’ll assume that because I did come home that I want to make things right with him. But I don’t. I don’t want anything to do with him ever again.