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I really just shouldn’t have gotten out of bed this morning.

Things with Josh have been terrible all day.  He didn’t wake me up so I was late for work.  He hasn’t said anything pleasant.  All he’s done is harass me and then ignore me.  I’m fucking sick of it.

But everything will be fine when I get home and he fucks me.

Sure, like I want any part of THAT.  And it’s all my fault.  It always is.  I should have just jumped out of bed when he left this morning and had my special rainbow panties on so I could be chipper and happy all fucking day.

But I didn’t, and I’m miserable, and he’s just making it worse.

I told him not to call at lunch and he did anyway.  I told him not to text me anymore and he did anyway.  Then I tell him he never listens and he insists that he does.  Seriously?  No, he doesn’t listen and he doesn’t care what I want and so I’m DONE.

Fortunately I was able to get tons of stuff done this morning in spite of the shit going on with him so I don’t feel terrible about not doing much this afternoon.  It just sucks that it has to be this way.  It makes me miserable and I hate being miserable.

Now I have to ride out the rest of the afternoon and decide if I’m going home or not.  I really don’t want to.  He’ll be there and he’ll assume that because I did come home that I want to make things right with him.  But I don’t.  I don’t want anything to do with him ever again.