My eyes are FINE!!! AT least they will be once these fucking drops wear off. They had to dilate me and now I can see shit 10 yards away but not so much the stuff that’s 10 inches away. Had dinner, bought yarn, getting ready to snuggle. Not a bad day. Just don’t tell that I bought yarn…
Not sure how my twisted little brain pulled that out of the depths. Must be what I get for eating cheesy poofs at 10am. Rots your brain and junk.
But I did go to band camp, once. I was in the flag corps. My boyfriend played clarinet. That right there should tell you something. Anyway, it was hot and miserable and I hated every minute of it. The only thing good about being in the flag corps was that I earned PE credit. Of course that came back to bite me in the ass when I was a senior and trying to graduate a semester early. Nothing like PE your senior year of high school.
I did graduate from high school early. I wanted to get married. I was in lurve. I graduated in December, started working full time, and got married in March – 6 days after I turned 18. Huge mistake. I thought I knew everything when in reality it was my mother who knew everything and I knew nothing. But I didn’t listen. I was 18 and bullet proof. Boy did I learn.
I have no idea where this is going kids.
My brain feels odd. There’s stuff I should be doing, and I’ve been doing some of it. There’s stuff I *really* should be doing that I’m avoiding. T is here getting setup for his class – has been all fucking morning. It’s totally cramping my style. I feel like I really shouldn’t go out and smoke and like I can’t have the radio turned on and like I really shouldn’t be inhaling a large bag of cheesy poofs.
But I have my magic light on and a special sweater and a big ol’ glass of tea so really I should be fine shortly. Or not. Who knows. More importantly, no one cares. It’s all good.
I think I’m just really nervous about the eye stuff this afternoon. I just can’t even wrap my brain around the possibility of losing my sight. What the fuck would I do if I couldn’t see? I realize that glaucoma is treatable and that IF this is what it is they’ve caught it pretty early. Still, to be blind? When everything I do relies on having good eye sight? No, broken brain is completely incapable of getting around that notion. It just can’t happen. It must not happen. I say again, IT CANNOT HAPPEN.
Quick, someone needs to slip a horse tranquilizer in my cheesy poofs…
Ah yes, welcome to Friday – gateway to the weekend.
Yesterday ended up being an almost entirely stellar day. Had I not had to fight with an issue at work it would have been perfect. Josh and I got along all day, we had phenomenal sex, dinner was awesome, and I got the sock sort of started. I’m going to call it an unmitigated win.
Even though I didn’t start the day feeling that great I persevered. I realized that I was being mean to Josh and that he really didn’t deserve that, so I stopped. I spent the rest of the day making an effort to be as funny as I could be and it worked marvelously. By the time I got home from work I literally couldn’t wait to see him and we had a great time.
I’m not so sure today will be as good. I’m in the other office and I forgot that one of my colleagues is teaching here today. He’s actually here already getting setup. This means I may not be able to sneak out for smokes and I may not be able to talk to Josh at lunch. That kind of miffs me. Oh well, I guess it is what it is.
The sleep continues to be good. I woke up once last night to use the bathroom but that was it. I started waking up again this morning right around the time Josh’s alarm should have gone off. We got up and I started getting things done. I did decide on the cable pattern for the sock and started to get it written up. I brought that with to type up later today. Anyway, I’m not sure how much longer I’ll have to stay at 160mg of Geodon, but for the time being my body seems to like this.
I’m hoping to have a good weekend. It’s going to start kind of tenuous, I already know this. I’ve got my appointment with the eye doctor this afternoon to see if there really is something medically wrong with my eyes. I’m hoping it turns out to be nothing. Just in case there’s any problems, I’m having Josh go with me. Mom was nice enough to give me a ride to work this morning so Josh can pick me up at 3. I’ll try to pop back in tonight and let y’all know what happened.
Anyway, after the eye appointment we’re running a few errands. We’re going to Qdoba for dinner and then to Michael’s to look for slipper soles for Josh. After that I’ve been promised some snuggle time. Tomorrow we’ll have to run to the grocery store and Costco to get a few supplies. I’m hoping then that I can tackle the chore list and spend some quality time with the sock.
In all I’d say I’m feeling a lot better. I feel terrible for how poorly I treated Josh and Mom while I wasn’t feeling well. I know they both love me and do their best to take care of me, I just hope that when I am well I’m able to do half as good a job loving and taking care of them.