I actually mostly slept last night, which was good, but I still don’t feel like I’m back to normal yet, which sucks. I woke up a few times, but I was able to fall right back asleep. I got up when I needed to this morning but didn’t feel like I could really do everything. The bed didn’t get made and I didn’t have any time to work on the sweater. The shower was torturous. For some reason everything Josh did just annoyed the fuck out of me. I like that we have this time together in the mornings now, but I really wish I could go back to showering by myself.
Last night was pretty good. We had sex when he got home which was actually way better than I thought it would be. I think that might be part of why I slept better. We’ve got a “date” for tonight to try again and see if it helps again. If memory serves, I started having trouble sleeping when we stopped having sex every day.
Anyway, we did that and made dinner and then just kind of relaxed the rest of the night. It was pretty good. I didn’t work on the sweater at all, but I’ve got it with me to work on at lunch. Josh doesn’t have school tonight so he’ll be home with me again. In some ways I’m looking forward to it, but in some ways not. I had gotten used to having a little free time during the week. Oh well, next week he’ll start going to class 2 nights a week so I’ll get some time then.
I had an idea this morning for a craft project I want to do. I’ve been surfing Pinterest a lot lately and that’s where I got my inspiration. I want to do a little painting for the bathroom. If I can pull it off I’ll post a pic.
I’m starting to plan my birthday party already. I want to have the usual crew over – my two best girlfriends, the one girl’s husband, and Josh’s best friend. I’ve got my menu planned now I’m just waiting to see if everyone can make it. I’m trying to get it planned for the weekend the brat is having her party so that we don’t have to worry about having her there at the same time. I just hope everyone can come. I haven’t seen my one girlfriend since last summer.
My mood is alright this morning, I just don’t feel like I have a whole lot of motivation. I know there are things I really need to get working on, I just can’t seem to bring myself to them. My brain feels really slow even though I don’t have much Geodon in me at all. My face is plenty active though.
I’m really kind of nervous about switching meds. I hate having the knowledge that I’m really just a big chemistry experiment for shrinky-poo. And I hate knowing that I’ll have to be on some kind of meds for the rest of my life. I really wish I could just be normal for once – no pills, no mood swings – just NORMAL. But I’m defective.
I’m not exactly looking forward to the visit with the brat this weekend but I know it has to happen. We haven’t seen her in 3 weeks now and Josh is starting to miss her. I’d be happy if we never had to see her again. Oh well. Guess I need to wrap up her presents tonight so that we have that ready for this weekend. I think Josh is going to take her to the leather place and get her a kit to work on, but I’m not sure. I have my own things I’ll need to be working on.
Daylight saving time is this weekend and I am so not looking forward to that. The spring time change always completely fucks me up. It usually fucks Josh up, too. It should be better this year since he’s not drinking every night, but still. Losing an hour of sleep is not good when sleep is so precious for us. I just hope next Monday isn’t a total cluster fuck.