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Josh just really fucking doesn’t get it, and I’m tired of beating my head against the wall trying to explain it.  He’s inconsiderate, has a terrible attitude, and takes me for granted every fucking day.  I feel like a goddamn doormat and I’m tired of it.

The problem with the car this morning was my fault – fine, I’ll take credit for it.  The day has been rough because I couldn’t keep my big fucking mouth shut – fine, I’ll take credit for it.  I feel like utter shit and he claims to have done nothing to make me feel this way – fine, I’ll take credit for it.

I’m done arguing with him.  He’s always right and I’m always wrong, end of story.  That’s fine, he can be right.  I’ll be quiet.

I tried explaining to him earlier that just because he tells me how much he loves me and how sorry he is those things aren’t necessarily true – they’re just words.  I can claim to be a fucking sheep until I’m blue in the face, but it won’t ever be true.  He just doesn’t get it.  He claims to always speak the truth.  Ok, you win, you’re always telling the truth and you always mean everything you say.  Fine.

Right now he wants me to tell him that I love him, except damn near every time he’s texted it today he’s spelled it “luv” and that annoys me to no end.  I said it back at lunch, before things went back into the shitter, but I won’t say it again.  I don’t feel it, I’m not saying it.  And he’s going to learn the hard way that I’m done responding to “luv.”  I will blatantly ignore that shit.  Fucking spell it properly or don’t expect a reply.  The last text he sent me said “luvu” because apparently he couldn’t even afford a fucking space.  Nope, not going there.

It really is time to take the path of least resistance.  I’ll do and say the things that must be done to keep my household running, but he’ll get nothing extra and there will be no real love coming from me.  He told me at lunch to make sure that I made his sandwich with love.  I asked him where he keeps it.  He claims the love is in the freezer.  Right, because I’m just a cold hearted bitch.  I get it.

Time for Erin to go out and live her life the way she wants to.  If Josh can do whatever the fuck he wants to do, so can I.  This street goes two ways and I intend to take it as far as it goes.

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