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Oh sweet ceiling cat I’m glad that shit is over.

Friday did not turn out well.  His phone didn’t work much at all the rest of the day.  I got a very short phone call at lunch and that was about it.  I checked around with my friends and found an old phone for him to use so he’d at least have something.  He was not appreciative.  He came home from work late in a very foul mood.  We fought some more, had make up sex, and went to dinner.  The rest of the night was quiet.

Saturday I got him up and took him to work.  I went home and Mom and I ran a bunch of errands.  Then I went and picked up the brat.  She’s sick AGAIN, strep throat this time.  We went to lunch and she ate about 4 bites of her food.  I fucking hate the way that kid wastes food.  Then we went to the leather place.  When we got there she mouthed off to me so I stayed in the car and smoked.  That really pissed Josh off for some reason.  We went home and I got back to work on the chores.  He got pissed because I wasn’t spending time with them, so I ran to the store with my mom.

When we got back I had more laundry to do.  I was supposed to cook dinner but didn’t really feel like it so Mom took us out for Mexican.  Again, the brat threw half her food away even though she said she loves this place.  Whatever.  We went home and got changed and I fell asleep in Josh’s lap on the sofa.

In the morning I got him up and we took a shower.  Then we had to wake the brat up to go to breakfast.  She didn’t want to leave the house but Josh didn’t want to get food by himself.  It had started snowing over night and the roads were getting bad.  I suggested we take her home after breakfast but he refused.  “I haven’t seen her in almost a month, I want to spend time with her.”  So we went home and they did NOTHING.  Josh had to take care of the driveway and they just sat and stared at each other.  Around 1 the ex texted Josh and told him the roads were getting bad over there so maybe we should take her home.  He listened to his ex wife but not to me.

It took almost an hour to get to her house and another hour to get home.  The roads were awful.  And Josh insisted that I go with to keep him company and then he snapped at me the entire time.  It was a great time.  When we finally got home we kept fighting.  We finally had make up sex but it was really pretty terrible.

He left my car parked outside all night and put his car in the garage.  This morning when it was time to leave there was ice built up on my windows.  My mom helped me clean the car.  Josh stood there smoking for a few minutes before finally deciding to help.  My windows were iced shut so I wasn’t able to smoke on the ride in.  When I got to work and told him that he told me I should have started warming the car up when I went out to smoke this morning, that or I should have swapped the cars around last night.  Yes, this is entirely my fault AGAIN.

I’m so done with this bullshit.  I’m just not going to even try to do anything decent for him anymore.  I got him some new work shirts when I went to the store on Saturday and apparently he doesn’t like them.  I had one set out for him this morning and he put it away.  On Saturday I called Verizon to activate his temporary phone and then decided I’d just buy him a pre-owned phone so that we didn’t have to fuck with this mess anymore.  When he realized what I was doing he threw a fit.  “I don’t want that phone, it’s shit.”  Ok asshole, you’re on your own now.  I am so fucking done.

I need some time to relax and unwind and not have to deal with all of this fucking drama.  I feel completely burnt out.  And I told him yesterday afternoon that if we didn’t get shit right again that this entire week would be bad, and it looks like I’m going to be right.  I can’t deal with this anymore.  I told him on Saturday what I really want for my birthday is a divorce, and I actually meant it.  I’d be willing to bet he just doesn’t do anything for my birthday.  He didn’t do anything for christmas, so why expect anything for my birthday?  He’s the most self-centered asshole I’ve ever met.  The whole fucking universe revolves around Josh.  I’m sick of it.

The mood is shit and has been shit for awhile now.  I’m tired of constantly feeling like I’m the world’s biggest fuck up every time I try to do something nice for him, so I’m just done doing anything for him.  He can do his own laundry, make his own lunches, and pay his own bills.  I am DONE.