I kept up my little charade all day. By the time Josh got home I found myself actually looking forward to spending a little time with him. We didn’t get a whole lot of time because my sister and brother in law showed up shortly after he did and then the fucking free-for-all began. My nieces are lovely children – when their parents aren’t around. As soon as H or T shows up they turn into little terrors. I suspect that this is because acting up is the only way to get any attention. It’s truly terrible. Fortunately the time we had before H and T got there was really good.
Anyway… Josh and I had a reasonable time before they showed up. After they left I got his new phone activated. That was it – he was done with me. The rest of the evening was spent listening to ring tones and learning to text. I had done my service and I was very literally dismissed.
This morning I tried to wake him a little early so that we could smoke together. As usual he was having no part of it. So I got quiet again. I didn’t take a full shower as I wanted to french braid my hair. I was done with everything in the bathroom by the time he was done showering so I went downstairs to get ready. More quiet. I got my stuff and walked out the door. He insisted on kisses. He told me I looked and smelled nice. And then he left. No I love you this morning.
He’s at work and playing with the phone. I tried telling him he doesn’t need to talk to me today since he’ll be so fucking busy with his new toy but he’s not actually reading any of the messages I send. So I guess I just go back to being the pleasant and complacent version of me and ignore it all. Ok, I can do that.
I didn’t get much work done on the sweater this morning as I was really pretty tired for some reason. I did bring it with so in case I get a lunch today I can maybe work on it a little more. I’ve got a meeting that spans my normal lunch hour so we’ll see.
I just feel totally drained and I’m not sure what to do about it. Josh said something yesterday about maybe having to work again this Saturday and if he does he wants me to get in touch with the ex and trade weekends. I’d love to not have her again this weekend and I’d totally love for him to work all day. We can definitely use the money and I could use the break. But of course since I want this to happen it won’t.