I just got back from my visit with shrinky-poo. It did not go as well as I’d hoped it would.
She had me sit still for a minute and watched my face and then asked me what all was going on. I described everything in as much detail as I could and then admitted that it’s actually been getting worse lately. She’s insisting that I taper off the Geodon, starting tonight. She says this will only progressively get worse and then it really will become permanent. And by worse she meant debilitating.
And she had no answers. At this moment she has no idea what else might work. The entire class of drugs that Geodon is a part of is now off limits. That includes Seroquel, Zyprexa, Abilify, and Risperdal. I can’t take any of those. She said over the next two weeks she’ll comb through the last five years worth of my charts and note every single med I’ve been on and why I’m no longer on it. Then she’ll do research to find alternatives.
I’ve already talked to Mom and I’ve asked her to go with for this appointment. She’s been with me through this entire ordeal and literally knows me better than anyone. I want her to be a part of this decision.
I’m utterly terrified right now. I can’t lose the parts of me I’ve just regained, I can’t. And how fucking frightening is it for your doctor to admit that she has no idea how to treat your disease?