anxiety, bipolar disorder, life, limits, love, meds, mental health, mental illness, money, moods, motivation, sick, sleep, stress, work
I went and had my blood drawn this morning. It went much better than the attempt on Saturday. This time I got a certified phlebotomist and she hit the first vein on the first try. Her name is Brittany and I’ll be asking for her, by name, from now on. She works during the week.
I wasn’t feeling very good this morning, and I’m still not. I slept like shit last night – totally couldn’t get comfortable. The weather has finally warmed up, for a few days anyway, and it’s messing with me. When I had to get up I really just wanted to stay in bed. But I got up and went for the blood draw and then spoiled myself with a little McDonald’s breakfast. And that’s when the hurting really started. I seem to ache all over, just like Josh did yesterday. Mostly it’s in my hands and feet. I haven’t really done anything with either to cause this. I’ve got on my best, most comfortable pair of sandals and I haven’t hardly typed at all today. I suspect it’s a virus.
I’ve got a few things to wrap up and then I think I’m going to head for home. There’s no sense in tormenting myself by being miserable here. I’ve already talked to my boss about it and she said to just take care of myself. I’ve got a whole week’s worth of crap going on next week and there’s no sense in making it so I can’t be here for all of it. Besides, I really need to practice what I preach to Josh – rest and give your body a chance to heal itself.
I really wish I could figure out the sleep thing. I thought it would be good to try to go to bed early last night, so I took my Depakote and Melatonin at like 7:15. Now I’m thinking that was too early. I just don’t know what else to do. I walked for 30 minutes last night, which should have helped. And I don’t think I had a whole lot more caffeine than I normally do. Mostly I drink Kool Aid anymore, made with Splenda.
I’m sure part of it is stress. The money situation is not so stellar again and I really need to get back on top of that. Things with Josh are mostly ok right now, I’m just still pretty pissed at him about what happened over the weekend. And I don’t feel like I’m back up to my “wonder woman” abilities again yet, which is frustrating as hell. Gotta learn how to be a little more patient with myself.