You know it’s hot outside when your cell phone tells you that it can’t charge because it’s so hot it might explode. True story. Josh parks where there is no shade and when he got out to the car this afternoon the thermometer read 109. When he tried plugging his phone in it literally told him it was just too hot. The Weather Channel says it’s officially 93 at their reporting station but with the humidity it feels like 100. In my opinion, once it gets into the 90s who really gives a shit – it’s HOT. And that’s the beauty of this part of the Midwest – you get raging inferno heat coupled with soaking humidity which combines to make the entire great outdoors one big sauna. Freshly applied deodorant? Step outside at 7am and feel that shit melt right off your ‘pits. Nicely done hair? Step outside at 7am and watch it either fall completely flat or curl up like you stuck a fork in a light socket, depending on your hair (I get the light socket look myself, it’s kind of like a glorious blonde highlighted afro). Freshly pressed blouse? Step outside at 7am and watch it turn from neat and crisp into limp and shapeless. It’s grand.
Anyway, in spite of all of the bullshit that comes with summer, I wouldn’t live elsewhere. Without summer you don’t get spring and fall, and I really quite enjoy spring and fall. Winter is mostly like summer – something you endure in order to get to enjoy spring and fall. And really, I just can’t imagine living somewhere that didn’t have fairly well defined seasons. I like the variety. Plus I like the excuse to have clothes for every season.
Staying with the topic of summer and how crazy fucking hot it gets here, my heart goes out to those folks who work out in the elements. The garbage truck was just coming around when I was pulling in to the neighborhood. I can’t even imagine what it’s like to have to work outside like that. There would be times of the year when it wouldn’t be too terrible, but again – summer and winter – and those can be pretty damn extreme around here. I’m very thankful that Josh was able to find a job working indoors. His workplace isn’t terribly well cooled or heated, but it’s protected from the elements and they have ready access to cool, clean water all the time. I still worry about him when the heat gets bad like this though.
The one thing I do kind of sort of enjoy about summer – my living space. Y’all are aware that I live in Mom’s basement. It isn’t entirely underground, but probably a good 2/3 of the way up the walls is beneath dirt. We have 2 nice sized windows above our bed, but I almost always keep the blinds pulled to keep it dark at night (there’s a street light right in front of our house). Mom is not known for keeping the house terribly cool – it’s just really too expensive for a house this size. She normally runs the thermostat at 75 and then we use ceiling fans in the rooms we’re in. It’s quite comfortable actually. But the basement… Today it’s quite easily a good 10, maybe 15 degrees cooler down here. And my fat ass is loving this shit.