You know it’s hot outside when your cell phone tells you that it can’t charge because it’s so hot it might explode. True story. Josh parks where there is no shade and when he got out to the car this afternoon the thermometer read 109. When he tried plugging his phone in it literally told him it was just too hot. The Weather Channel says it’s officially 93 at their reporting station but with the humidity it feels like 100. In my opinion, once it gets into the 90s who really gives a shit – it’s HOT. And that’s the beauty of this part of the Midwest – you get raging inferno heat coupled with soaking humidity which combines to make the entire great outdoors one big sauna. Freshly applied deodorant? Step outside at 7am and feel that shit melt right off your ‘pits. Nicely done hair? Step outside at 7am and watch it either fall completely flat or curl up like you stuck a fork in a light socket, depending on your hair (I get the light socket look myself, it’s kind of like a glorious blonde highlighted afro). Freshly pressed blouse? Step outside at 7am and watch it turn from neat and crisp into limp and shapeless. It’s grand.
Anyway, in spite of all of the bullshit that comes with summer, I wouldn’t live elsewhere. Without summer you don’t get spring and fall, and I really quite enjoy spring and fall. Winter is mostly like summer – something you endure in order to get to enjoy spring and fall. And really, I just can’t imagine living somewhere that didn’t have fairly well defined seasons. I like the variety. Plus I like the excuse to have clothes for every season.
Staying with the topic of summer and how crazy fucking hot it gets here, my heart goes out to those folks who work out in the elements. The garbage truck was just coming around when I was pulling in to the neighborhood. I can’t even imagine what it’s like to have to work outside like that. There would be times of the year when it wouldn’t be too terrible, but again – summer and winter – and those can be pretty damn extreme around here. I’m very thankful that Josh was able to find a job working indoors. His workplace isn’t terribly well cooled or heated, but it’s protected from the elements and they have ready access to cool, clean water all the time. I still worry about him when the heat gets bad like this though.
The one thing I do kind of sort of enjoy about summer – my living space. Y’all are aware that I live in Mom’s basement. It isn’t entirely underground, but probably a good 2/3 of the way up the walls is beneath dirt. We have 2 nice sized windows above our bed, but I almost always keep the blinds pulled to keep it dark at night (there’s a street light right in front of our house). Mom is not known for keeping the house terribly cool – it’s just really too expensive for a house this size. She normally runs the thermostat at 75 and then we use ceiling fans in the rooms we’re in. It’s quite comfortable actually. But the basement… Today it’s quite easily a good 10, maybe 15 degrees cooler down here. And my fat ass is loving this shit.
denisemariesurvivor said:
This made me laugh. Thank you. 🙂
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Mental Mama said:
Always happy to help! I firmly believe that laughter is one of the few things in life that should never be governed by the whole “all things in moderation” philosophy. You just really can’t ever have too much.
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Grainne said:
LMAO! Omg I needed this. “Feel that shit melt right off your pits…” had me howling with laughter.
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Mental Mama said:
Do you get the really miserable, “just let me put this sno cone down my pants for some relief” kind of heat where you are?
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Grainne said:
Oh hell yes. Right now it’s 101 out there with humidity. The walls in my office are, literally, dripping with moisture. It’s freaking awesome on my arthritis. Heh.
(I’m not a big fan of freezing cold weather but this heat is something…)
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Mental Mama said:
I hear you. It’s a little better here today, but still pretty miserable. And the worst is yet to come. August is traditionally when get the really bad heat. Oh yay, can’t wait for that shit.
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Grainne said:
Turn the shower of an start to sweat weather. Love it. (not)
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Mental Mama said:
Ayup. What I don’t get is that even with this heat – like when the temp is starting at 80 at 6am – Josh pretty well still insists on taking a hot shower first thing. WTF?
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Grainne said:
Arggh D does that too! He gets up first and by the time I get to the shower the whole main level is steamy and stupid hot. I have fans set up around the house so I can get read without sweating everywhere. (ew…sorry. Lol…it’s so true though!)
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Mental Mama said:
No worries – I get that entirely. Josh and I shower together to save time and it just about kills me. I can’t hardly see in the mirror to do my hair most days and I don’t dare get dressed in the bathroom – my clothes would be so stuck to me it would just look gross.
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Grainne said:
lol! I am, often, nearly stark naked and standing at the door waiting for Colt to get himself in gear. I dress moment before I walk outside. My poor neighbours! lol They’ve learned to knock and then step away.
I could never shower with D. He’d scald me with his fire-hot showers.
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Mental Mama said:
We’ve come to a reasonable compromise over the course of the last few years, but it was rough for awhile. When Josh showers by himself he comes out looking like a lobster. When I shower by myself there’s rarely any steam on the mirror. When we’re together it’s mostly somewhere in the middle.
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Grainne said:
ah the joy of marital compromise. 😉 xo
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