The definition of insanity is doing the same thing over and over and expecting a different result every time. See also: common practices of Josh.
I started getting on him about doing homework on Wednesday. Technical fail on his part, didn’t want to ask for help, evening wasted. Thursday he claimed he was too tired. Friday he insisted on sex and then did a very little bit, but totally wrong. Saturday the brat was there. I had hoped to be able to take her shopping to get out of the house so he could work for a bit, but he threw a temper tantrum about how I always leave him alone at the house and he never gets to go anywhere. (I call total bullshit on that one.) So then I got sick and sent him and the brat out alone to shop so I could be left in peace to die. Nothing else done that night. Sunday after he got home from dropping her off he again wanted sex so he didn’t get started with anything until after dinner. He wrote one paragraph. He’s supposed to be turning in a rough draft of this 4 page paper by tomorrow night. And he’s in class tonight until at least 8.
I told him that what he’s been doing obviously isn’t working so he needs to think about doing something else. I got jumped on for that. Actually I get jumped on for most things these days. He has almost no patience with anyone, least of all me. I ended up so pissed off at him and the kid Sunday afternoon that I went to the grocery store BY MYSELF while they watched some lousy ass movie together. I had reached the point that if I didn’t physically remove myself from their presence that it was going to get ugly.
He’s been telling me more lately how uncomfortable he is around her and how he doesn’t really enjoy having her come over. But you should have seen the look on his face when I reminded him that there’s no court order saying he has to have these visits – you’d have thought I was suggesting he bury her in a shallow grave in the desert. Seriously dude, you’re not enjoying this, I’m pretty sure she’s not enjoying it, I sure as fuck don’t enjoy it – why in the name of all that is holy should we all be tortured like this?
Whatever, I know nothing.
And he tells me last night that every woman he’s ever had in his life has been EXACTLY the same – we all tell him we want one thing but when we get it we change our minds, nothing he does is ever good enough for any of us, and all we ever want to do is harass him about his life. ALL OF US. Then this morning he has the balls to tell me that I’m the best woman ever. Right, the best. I’m gonna call bullshit again.
I may well be starting to go through menopause. I seem to be having issues getting my internal thermostat under control at night, and sex just really sounds like a whole lot of effort for very little return these days. My mom was fairly young when she went through it, though not quite this young. Having had the hysterectomy could be throwing that off, not sure. If shit doesn’t settle in the next few days, I’m seeking help. Actually, I’m seeking help anyway. It’s that time of year for me to get a regular old physical with my GP.
Anyway, I’m tired. We had a rough time last night getting the tiny bit of shit done. He’s fighting this all the way and I’m sick of it. I agree with him that the class is bunk, but he needs it for the degree. His best bet is to suck it up and just do it, but that’s not how he works. So we had harsh words, right before bed. Then he left the light on. Apparently he couldn’t get comfortable because I kept getting woke up to an elbow in the face. At 5am when the THREE alarms went off – one of them the fucking dueling banjos from Deliverance – I got up. I got myself ready for work, said goodbye, and left. I’m not in the mood for this today.