My boss came to see me this afternoon.  This isn’t a totally odd thing seeing as we are mostly chummy most of the time.  I figured she just wanted to check in and see how I was doing since I’d been gone since last Thursday.  When she closed my door I knew something was up.  I asked her if I was in trouble – for fuck sake, what have I done now?

No, not in trouble.  Here’s the mom lecture – leave the Toad alone and try to just pretend it’s all cool.  He’ll hang himself.  Ok, no sweat.  Oh hey, it’s been brought to my attention that you’re not happy with your salary.  Nope, really not – he makes a fuck load of money for doing next to nothing.  Yeah well, here – would a 15% raise help?

FIFTEEN PERCENT, which amounts to not quite $7k a year.  And as soon as they send some memo to HR it’ll go into effect immediately.

I think I seemed a little ungrateful.  Actually, I know I was.  That’s nice and all, but really, I do a FUCK LOAD more work – did you miss that part?

So I said thank you and we talked about other stuff for a bit and I apologized for coming across as less than appreciative.  She said some really nice things about how much better I’ve been doing over the last 18 months and how much she loves working with me.  And then she told me that she really just doesn’t give a shit about her job anymore and how she hates her kids.

Yeah, I’ll take my seven grand, thanks.