glad that shit’s over

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christmas, family, kids, life, limits, mental health, moods, random shit that falls out of my brain, stress, the world is full of fucking idiots, work

It ended up being so cold here on Christmas Eve that my sister finally decided it wouldn’t be a good idea to take the kids outside, so we skipped church.  We got there early and opened gifts with the girls.  My sister and I haven’t exchanged gifts since my oldest niece was born, but I always get stuff for Mom, Grandma, and the girls.  Mom generally gets us big kids something large – I got the new mattress this year and my sister got a new high-end digital camera.  But the nieces were concerned about everyone having something to open, so Mom and I picked out a little something for everyone.  I got some new colorful socks and a sugar skull rubber stamp and Josh got an orange shirt.  He didn’t seem terribly excited, though he wore the shirt the next day.

On Christmas Day I sent him to get the kid by himself.  I had things to do and didn’t want to waste an hour in the car.  They finally got here around 11 and we opened gifts.  She liked all of the stuff we got her – she seemed really excited about some of the silly little things that I had picked out – and didn’t really know what to make of the big, expensive sound board project thing that Josh had picked out.  And then we opened our gifts from her.  I knew I was getting new slippers – it was a suggestion I had given and I was standing next to Josh when the ex called to confirm what size.  I had no idea they’d be this incredibly awesome.

Coolest slippers EVER

They fit perfect, they’re fluffy and soft, and they have pink skulls – PERFECT.  As I had also known, Josh got a Kindle.  It’s not brand new – refurbished – but she spent her own money on it.  Every time she’s come over he’s bitched about that damn Nook so she decided that a Kindle would be the perfect gift for him.  He didn’t say a whole lot about it, fiddled with it some trying to figure out what to do to make it work, and then had to go take a shower so we could leave.  The kid then told me how much she likes it when he’s not around and it’s just me and her.

So we headed to his dad’s house and the raging case of “stick up butt” set in.  We got there and his dad tried talking to him and he was giving these really shitty one word answers.  I pulled him outside to smoke and told him he either figured out how to fix his fucking attitude or he could leave.  Without me.  He managed to mostly get himself in a better mood, but it didn’t last.

Our time over there was alright.  The food was better than usual and I actually had a pretty decent time.  We got some gifts that were odd but some that were really good.  And everyone seemed to enjoy the things that we had picked out for them.  We finally headed home around 6:30.

As we’re laying in bed last night Josh starts talking about the Kindle and how he wished the kid had saved her money and gotten him something else.  It’s not big enough.  He can’t figure out how to use it.  He’d have rather had one of the new, bigger Nooks.

Why yes kids, I am married to the MOST UNGRATEFUL SON OF A BITCH ON THE WHOLE FUCKING PLANET.

It’s gotten to the point where I just really don’t want much of anything to do with him.  I’m fairly sure that part of what’s going on is him pouting that he hasn’t gotten to drink lately.  I’m also feeling fairly sure that he’s probably been finding a way to sneak it.  And I really don’t care.  If he wants to kill himself like that, far be it from me to stop him.

Anyway, Evie Cat seems to be doing better.  She still doesn’t like having the cream put in her ears, but she isn’t fighting like she was and she isn’t running off to hide afterwards anymore.  It looks like she’s starting to put a little weight back on and the fur is coming back in nicely on her legs.  She’s snoozing in her chair right now, cute as can be.

I’ve got work I need to get done before I head back on 1/2/14.  There’s a class I’m set to teach on the 6th that’s going to require so much revision that it might as well be a new prep.  I usually give myself a few months for those – I get less than a full 7 days this time.  And I still need to finish updating some records on a spreadsheet.  Fortunately I was able to whittle it down from 1200 to less than 200 before we left for the holiday.

No rest for the wicked.

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when last we left our heroine…

Tags

christmas, family, life, meds, mental health, moods, stress, the world is full of fucking idiots

Let’s see, where did I leave off…  Oh yeah, Josh was being a little douche and I had chores to do.

I managed to get everything but a little laundry done by the time he got home at 11.  I had all of the ideas for everyone for gifts and was ready to get dressed and head out.  I did spend a few minutes yelling at him – telling him how unappreciated I’ve been feeling lately and oh, by the way, put up or shut up.

We went and had lunch at what is, in my humble opinion, the very best pizza joint in this town.  Then the games began.  Fortunately I have a fairly decent sense of where things might be found and what order is best to go hunting so as to minimize driving all over the place.  Josh decided to let me pick out my own gifts this year, which was kind of nice.  I got a few little kid toy things for my office, a retro purple lamp with a black shade for my nightstand, and a really cool Moroccan star.

Mine doesn’t look quite like this, but it’s dark in here right now and this gives you the general idea

We managed to get all but one of the gifts.  Josh’s nieces both wanted shirts for college sports teams.  I don’t remember wanting anything sports related at all at that age, but whatever.  But of course I could only find the shirt for one of them because in our city the Target stores don’t carry the “rival” team’s apparel.  And by that time I was done.  His sister had told me that the Target across the river carried stuff for both teams, so I figured I’d just go on Monday when Mom and I were running errands.

Sunday we spent wrapping packages and doing a few more chores.  It was a relatively relaxed day, except for the fact that Josh didn’t slither out of bed until 11am.  By that point I was so frustrated that I managed to cut my thumb pretty good with the scissors.  While wrapping a dog toy.

Yesterday I got to hang out with Mom.  That was actually really good, even though pretty well the whole day was spent running errands.  I took her to the doctor for a routine checkup on her lapband thing, we went to Fareway (small chain grocery store that has an old fashioned meat counter and, in my opinion, the best meat around), dropped stuff at my sister’s house, went to Panera for lunch, cashed in old coins at a dealer (long story that I don’t feel the need to go into – but damn what a trippy time that was), then over to the Target where the brat lives to get the other shirt, back to our side of the river and this part of town to go to another grocery store, and then finally home.  Quite the day.

Tonight is nibbles at my sister’s house and it sounds like a quick jaunt to church.  I don’t mind going to church – it’s usually full of hypocrites but that’s really not my problem – and really, I’ll do damn near anything to make my niece happy.  Mom says she’s quiet a lot lately because my sister yells and picks on everyone.  I want her to see that not all grown women behave that way and that some of us really do love her.

At any rate, I’m hoping the next few days go alright.  Tomorrow is what I’m really not looking forward to.  We’ll have to head over the river to pick the brat up at 10, back to our house so she can open gifts, back over around 1 to have lunch with Josh’s family and open gifts.  The ex has said she can pick the brat up from Josh’s dad’s house, which will help, but we’re still looking at two complete round trips in one day – 30 minutes (on the freeway) EACH WAY depending on traffic.  (GoldFish, I’m shutting up now – I know you deal with worse all the time.)

And the food…  Oh dear lord, the food at that house.  *urp*  My step mother in law is the only person I’ve ever met who can fuck up gravy that you make with a powdered mix – not by making it lumpy, by making it GRAY.  There are foods that have been a part of my life for as long as I can remember that I’ve had to introduce Josh to because this woman cooked them so terribly that he refused to eat them – and we aren’t talking anything exotic here.  Her mashed potatoes – made with real potatoes that used to have skins on them and had to be boiled – have the consistency of instant potatoes that have had too much milk added.  I always make sure to take a few food things with that Josh and I really like so that we have something edible to supplement the slop she puts on the table.

I really don’t expect anything exotic or fancy-pants or even expensive to be served at a holiday meal.  All I ever want is real food cooked reasonably well.  No, never happens.  And every time I bring something over – and I damn near always take easy stuff – they’re all amazed at how good it is.  Good food doesn’t have to be difficult or expensive.  Some of my very favorite food is “family” food, or what some around here refer to as “Midwestern farm wife” food.  Inexpensive ingredients that were probably local and prepared simply.

This “recipe” (it’s not a recipe – it only has 2 ingredients – but wtf else do you call instructions for doing something with food?) goes out to Pen.

Grandma O’s Pickles
Large Kosher Dill Pickles – the bigger the better
8 oz brick of Philadelphia cream cheese – cold

Cut the ends off the pickles.  Using a vegetable peeler (see pic), ream out the inside of the pickle all the way through.  (You want to leave a decent wall so that the pickle retains its integrity, but have a nice channel to fill with the cream cheese.)  Set the pickles on end on a paper towel to drain.  I usually let them set for about 20 minutes. (The more they drain the less slimy the cream cheese gets during the stuffing process.)  Once the pickles have drained, use a knife to cut the cream cheese into long skinny blocks that can be slid into the pickles  Let the stuffed pickles chill and firm in the fridge for at least an hour.  Right before serving, cut into slices – thickness isn’t important.

your peeler needs to look like this – if you don’t have one of these you can use a small paring knife instead, but I’m not allowed to play with knives

I honestly can’t tell you where this recipe came from other than my dad’s mom always made them at the holidays.  That part of my family has some Scandinavian heritage, but I can’t say conclusively that’s where it’s from.  All I know is that this was one of Dad’s favorites, it’s one of my favorites, and the first year Josh and I were together I made the tragic mistake of taking them to his dad’s house and now they’re the favorite of every fucker there.  And while I love eating these, there is nothing worse than smelling like pickles.

Damn, that was fun.  Ok, one more…

Easiest Turtle Candies EVAH
Square grid pretzels (you can actually use any shape you like, I just find the grid ones “lock on” to the Rollos best)
Bag of Rollo candies (unwrapped please)
Bag of Pecan halves

Preheat oven to 350. (temp doesn’t have to be precise – you just need it hot enough to make the Rollo’s gooey) Line a cookie sheet with foil and then evenly distribute the pretzel squares. Top each pretzel with a Rollo. Carefully put in the oven for about 5 minutes – seriously, all we’re doing here is making them melty and gooey so if 5 minutes isn’t long enough, no harm in leaving them in a little longer. Remove tray from oven and quickly press a pecan half into the top of each Rollo.

Well kids, that should probably be it for me.  I need to go run yet another load of laundry, give the rotten ass cat her medicine, and figure out what should be done next.  I still need to make both the pickles and the candies and then Josh needs to chop several blocks of cheese, we have to assemble to “appetizer tree” (I am totally taking pictures of this), and figure out what in the hell I’m wearing the next two days.  Oh, and a shower – I stink.

 

free at last? maybe?

Tags

anxiety, christmas, depression, family, kids, life, limits, mental health, money, moods, motivation, random shit that falls out of my brain, stress, the world is full of fucking idiots, work

The requirement to go to work for 9 hours a day is over for the year.  The actual work I need to get done before I go back on January 2nd is not.  Fortunately it’s not stuff that I really need to be at the office to do.  I need to finish updating some records on a spreadsheet (in the cloud) and I need to revise a course I’m teaching on the 6th.  But none of that can get done until after I get the chores done this weekend.

Josh and I went out for a “date” last night.  Well, we went to dinner and the grocery store, and when you’re an old married couple that’s what a date looks like.  I take what I can get these days.  The food was great, we had a really nice time without having cocktails, and then it was good at the grocery store.  Mom had asked me to pick up some of those fancy tooth picks with the frilly stuff at the tops.  I had no idea where those would be so I found a woman who worked there and asked her.  She wasn’t sure either but said the guys at the deli would know.  The deli guys said they didn’t carry them, but hey we’ll give you a little bag of the ones we use.  And they picked out just the red and green ones.  And they refused to let me pay for them.  Love that store.

Josh has been a little better, though I know he was getting impatient with me last week.  I wasn’t hardly able to talk to him and because of the kinds of stuff I was doing at work I was coming home utterly exhausted.  I had told him that I’d take care of the holiday shopping today while he’s at work but he threw a temper tantrum.  Whatever dude, I guess I’ll just do all of the “women’s work” at home by myself and then have to go shopping with you – you who can’t make up your fucking mind about your own stuff.  Yeah, this ought to be SUPER.

I’ve been trying to listen to a little Christmas music to get myself in the spirit, but it’s not helping much.  It just kind of feels like so much bullshit right now.  Josh always has to try to one-up his ex when it comes to presents for the brat, no one in his family has any kind of knack for getting gifts so we end up with shit we can’t use and don’t want (I know it’s the spirit of the thing, but honestly, these people don’t put any spirit in it), and Christmas Eve – which used to be my favorite part of the holiday – has been consistently ruined by my sister fighting with damn near anyone who dares speak to her for as long as my feeble brain cares to remember.

I have been reading stories on Facebook about people around the world reaching out to their fellow humans and doing really nice things.  There was the kid in Essex who used his “extreme couponing” skills to give close to $1000 worth of groceries – which he paid 7 CENTS for – to disadvantaged families who had less than he and his mom.  (he and his mom were not even close to well off, mind you)  I watched the video about the little girl who’s dad is a government contractor and has been working in the Middle East and she told Santa all she wanted was to see her daddy.  And he came home, and pretended to be Santa and surprised her.  I cried watching that one.  I’m getting teary now.

The holidays just make me weepy.  I spent the very worst Christmas of my life in the psych ward, getting entangled with one of the biggest mistakes of my life.  And I miss my dad.  And I still wonder if I’m doing the right thing with my life.

I need a vacation.  I don’t need to go anywhere, but I need some time to relax and do the things that I’d like to do instead of always doing the things I have to do.  I’d like Josh to realize that his contribution to what goes on around here needs to be more than a shitty paycheck twice a month and help grudgingly given.  I want him to put some weight behind the words that float out of his mouth.  Don’t tell me how much you miss me and love me – SHOW me.

And he’s going to have to go to Tax Court.  I know nothing about this, but I suspect that we’ll still end up paying every last dime the IRS says he owes, plus there’s the interest and late fees that continue to add up.  And he’ll have to miss a day of work.  I’ve already decided that he’s on his own for this.  I didn’t make this fucking mess, I’m done trying to help him with it.  He decided it was the better idea to appeal this, he can live with the consequences of that choice.

Sweet jesus, I am a raging bitch this morning.

12 bipolar days of christmas

Not much time today, it’s been crazy at work again.  Thank you all for the lovely comments, I’ll try to get back to everyone.  In the mean time, enjoy this awesome little video.

for the love of the holy flying squirrels doing lines of valium

Tags

christmas, family, kids, knitting, life, meds, mental health, moods, random shit that falls out of my brain, stress, the world is full of fucking idiots, work

Wow, so totally far beyond burnt right now…

Class is over.  I’m happy and sad both.  It was an awesome experience, I feel like I learned tons, and I got to meet some great new people.  I think I turned out some of my best academic work ever in this class.  Our director is super excited about the paper and is already planning to have me talk to several groups of people on campus.

This is finals week on campus and I had hoped it would be kind of quiet.  Yeah, not so much.  There have been all kinds of weird ass problems, I’m trying to find time to get to the low priority stuff I’ve been putting off for weeks now, and then today both the email and course management systems went down.  At the same time.  So much fun I could hardly stand it.

My nieces have been sick, which isn’t unusual for kids, but my sister has refused to make appointments for either of them to see a doctor.  My older niece almost certainly has bronchitis – she’s run a fever of 103 off and on – but still no doc.  My sister got her RN many moons ago so should have some concept of how to take care of children, but apparently not.

The dishwasher was broken for several weeks.  It was bad.  Sorry, just a little first world problem.

I can’t remember if I told y’all about Evie Cat’s new medicine or not – forgive me if I’m repeating myself.  It looks kind of like a lipstick with a sponge applicator at the top.  You twist a dial at the base and the cream comes up through a tiny hole and then you smear it on the inside of her ear.  This has come to involve me laying next to/over her on the bed, kind of tucking her under my armpit like a football and then attacking her ear.  She puts up a bit of a fight, but at least I know she’s getting the medicine like she’s supposed to every day.

Josh is being an asshole again.  I’m not really sure what the deal is.  I gave him what he wanted yesterday but told him he’d have to help me finish making some cookies.  He took what he wanted and then pouted the rest of the night.  And he’s mostly been a douche today, which is fine seeing as I have no intention of being even nice to him tonight.  He got another letter from the IRS today – he didn’t do the paperwork right.  FUCK.

The brat was sick last weekend and has plans this coming weekend, so we’re off the hook until Christmas.  I still have essentially all of my shopping to do, which sucks.  We decided we’re going to Josh’s dad’s house since we went to my sister’s house for Thanksgiving.  Not really looking forward to this, but since we’ll have the brat that’s probably the better option.

Ok, so y’all probably know by now that I’m a pretty open minded, liberal sort of gal.  My motto is “live and let live” so I do my best not to judge.  I also think that people – women in particular – should have choices.  So it’s not at all uncommon for me to post bits on Facebook about women’s reproductive rights, which sometimes discuss abortion.  I DO NOT advocate for OR against it – it’s a very personal choice and none of my fucking business.  I think every woman deserves access to information about birth control, access to affordable birth control methods, and – god forbid she gets pregnant by mistake – access to safe abortion care.  I think the shit this government is trying to pull is morally reprehensible.  If you don’t HAVE a vagina, what business is it of yours what takes place in mine?  Anyway, I posted a video today about one woman’s experience as a teenager looking for help and not finding it.  One of my “friends” commented that she was sorry she had watched it.  (it wasn’t graphic or lewd or offensive to me at all)  So I told her that I think it’s important for young women to know that they really do have options, because not all women that young – the woman was 16 when her story took place – would be able to either raise a child or carry it to term just to give it up for adoption, which were the two options she was given.  I was told that “being too young or unprepared is a shitty and selfish reason to end a life.”

Kids, I was 13 years old when I had an abortion.  It was then, and remains TO THIS DAY, the single most difficult decision I have ever made.  It was also, from my perspective, one of the least selfish things I’ve ever done.  I knew I had nothing to offer a child at that point in my life – for fuck sake, I was still a child myself.  Anyway, I had my reasons, but I carried my guilt for a good 20 years anyway.

Not the point of my story.

So all of a sudden I’m “shitty and selfish” for something she knows nothing about.  I comment back that I must have been those things when I was 13 – just baiting her really.  You wanna make yourself look like uber-bitch?  BRING IT.

She gets back on and says something about how she doesn’t know the whole story and maybe it’s not worth delving into right here and now, yadda yadda yadda.  So I set her straight with an abbreviated version of what I wrote above.  But I finished it by saying “And she [a woman who finds herself facing an unwanted pregnancy] shouldn’t be judged for making the decision that is right for her and the situation she finds herself in.”

And I FIRMLY fucking believe that.

the hat, for GoldFish

Our friend GoldFish posted the other day about a beautiful purple hat she acquired, and that led to me telling her about my prize winning hat.  Yes, I won a prize for this beauty – a $50 gift certificate from the yarn shop that held the contest.  It’s hand knit out of black wool yarn, vaguely following someone’s pattern, and then machine felted.  The roses are also hand knit out of various left over bits of wool, also machine felted (not the same load as the hat), and then the viney bits – hard to see – were needle felted onto the hat after the roses and leaves were sewed on using fishing line.  I made this many moons ago – possibly 7 – but have only worn it a handful of times.  Believe it or not, even with as cold as it gets here in the winter, the damn thing is too hot for me most of the time.

what a day

Tags

bipolar disorder, family, kids, life, meds, mental health, moods, motivation, random shit that falls out of my brain, sick, stress, the world is full of fucking idiots, work

Pretty well immediately after I whined about my back yesterday it stopped bothering me and hasn’t acted up since.  Apparently bitching works, who knew?

I started today with 3 meetings on my calendar, all long.  I’m down to one left that hasn’t been cancelled, but of course it’s the one that’s going to keep me here late.  Fuck.  Anyway, Josh is working until 6 tonight so that hopefully they don’t have to work on Saturday.  I should get home before him and Mom so I can make dinner – sausages and sauerkraut.  Yummo.  Because I thought I was going to have a meeting over lunch today I brought a peanut butter sandwich.  I don’t mind them, but it’s fucking cold here today so warm food would have been nice.  Oh well.

Just got on Facebook for a minute and there’s a picture of the brat covered in kittens.  Josh’s ex fosters kittens from the local animal shelters and evidently they have 2 litters right now.  And the brat is covered in them because she’s home sick from school.  Again.  Which means she’ll probably still be sick this weekend, but not sick enough to stay home.  Lovely.

My niece is still stick and my sister still has a stick up her butt so she refuses to make a doc appointment.  She needs to be smacked in the face with a fish.  That swallowed an anvil.

The nurse from Josh’s doc’s office finally called yesterday and got the doc to call in a new Rx which she claims they got right off the insurance company’s website under the heading of “preferred meds” but the pharmacy says they’re still waiting for authorization.  Seriously getting to the point where I just don’t give a fuck anymore.

Anyway, I am crabby as fuck today.  I’ve gotten quite a bit of stuff done and I expect to get more done before this last meeting, which is awesome.  But it’s cold and Josh is a douche.  He told me he’d “try to behave” at lunch – WTF???  Totally don’t need this shit right now.

wtf is this????

Tags

life, limits, meds, mental health, pain, school, stress, the world is full of fucking idiots

I really hate to bitch about physical stuff.  So many of my friends go through so much pain bullshit every day that I feel like my piddly little crap isn’t worth voicing.  Today I’m going to whine – something is really fucking twisting me.

It started yesterday, late afternoon.  Just kind of a weird twinge-y thing over my right kidney.  I thought maybe I’d twisted wrong.  Only it keeps getting worse.  I sucked it up during class, stayed in during break, and then laid down pretty much as soon as I got home.  It got really bad then.  Eventually my meds kicked in and I passed out.

I woke up feeling alright and thought it had passed.  About 20 minutes ago it started again and it’s worse than yesterday.  My ex had kidney stones and they’d always make themselves known with pain in his back – makes me wonder if that isn’t what this is.  It’s sharp, only on the right side, and it lingers for a bit before subsiding.  If anyone has any thoughts I’d love to hear them.

I did finally  hear from the fucking nurse yesterday about Josh’s Rx.  According to her, the doc has been at the hospital doing rounds since Thursday.  I call BULLSHIT on that one.  I know he does do rounds, but 3 days in a row?  And he can’t be fucking bothered to check his email?  I’m leaving them alone today, but if I haven’t heard by the end of the day today…  Oh no, those bitches will rue the day.  And I am perfectly ok with finding a different doc at one of the other hospitals.  I’m getting tired of these fucks.

I have one more assignment to write for class and then I’m totally done.  This is just a reflection on what we feel we learned, what we liked, shit like that.  I might try to do that this afternoon when I’m back in my regular office.  It really shouldn’t take too long.  Being able to turn that paper in last night felt really good.  I haven’t put that much of myself in a project in a long time.

is it 2014 yet?

Tags

christmas, Evie Cat, family, kids, life, limits, meds, mental health, moods, school, sleep, stress, the world is full of fucking idiots, work

I’d like to tell you that I got some rest this weekend.  I’d like to tell you that all of the chores got done.  I’d like to tell you that Josh and I got along the whole time and that he was good to me.  I’d like to tell you that the sleep over with my nieces was perfect.

But Mom told me that lying isn’t nice.

The sleep over wasn’t terrible, but the girls have so much more energy than the rest of us.  They really were pretty good for the most part.  A insisted on waking Josh up good and early Saturday morning, which was really adorable.  And pretty well the only reason he got out of bed.

He and I fought a fair bit, I suspect because of him being out of the Androgel.  I left another message with the doc’s office today – the THIRD – and still haven’t heard anything.  If they don’t call today I’ll be calling and asking for the Office Manager in the morning.  This is bullshit.

My paper is officially done.  K found a few minor things on Friday and I got that taken care of yesterday morning while Josh was sleeping.  Until 11am.  Not happy about that.  And then of course last night he wasn’t at all tired so I ended up being awake until nearly midnight.  Nice.

And it snowed this weekend, just like they said it would.  I’d guess at least 4″, and it’s bitter cold out.  I actually wore tennis shoes today.  I don’t usually have too much trouble with the cold, but the last few days I’ve felt it in my bones.  I realize I’m not actually all that old yet, but I feel like it right now.

I did order the transdermal medicine for Evie.  She’s kind of taking the lunch meat thing for now, but I don’t want to have to rely on that.  Plus, the other kitty – Sissy – thinks that if Evie’s getting a “treat” she needs one, too, and Sis is on the chubby side.  Anyway, I’m making it work for now.

Mom’s CT scan is tomorrow night.  I’m going to meet her there just in case something happens.  What worries me most is that her blood pressure goes up every time we have to go there.  This is the hospital where my dad spent so much time while he was dying and she has trouble being there because of that.  (totally can’t blame her)

We’ll be getting the brat this weekend and I’m really not excited about it.  I need to go out and finish my holiday shopping, except I don’t really know who I’m even shopping for.  We had told her last time we had her that it’s her call as to where we go.  If we go to Josh’s dad’s house I’ll need to get gifts for all of them, which I’m not even sure I can afford.  Christmas just kind of sucks when you’re an adult.  And I’m sure I’ll get the same thing from Josh this year that I got last year – absolutely nothing.  And that’s fine really, I have no intention of getting anything for him.

what a fucking week

Tags

Evie Cat, life, meds, mental health, moods, school, stress, the world is full of fucking idiots, work

Sorry kids, it’s been beyond batshit crazy around here.

Wednesday I ended up staying home from work.  It had misted overnight so the roads were like an ice rink.  The repair guy was supposed to come look at the busted dishwasher and I didn’t really want Mom to have to be on the roads with my niece.  And Evie and I were fighting about whether or not she’d take her medicine.  (she won)  So I figured I’d do a little work, get my paper done, and try to have a peaceful day.

Right.

I lost track of how many times my boss sent me shit to do.  I haven’t put in for vacation hours because, quite frankly, I worked more from home that day than I often do when I’m here.  I did manage to get my paper pretty well done.  Wendy has proofed it for me, now I’m just waiting for K to do her quick read and I’ll call it good.  But in the middle of all that my mom’s car broke down.  Not a great day.  Fortunately her car has a really good warranty and it was a minor thing – so it’s back already.

Yesterday I went with her for her follow-up doc appointment, which was really pretty pointless.  None of the tests so far are showing anything, so now he wants a CT scan.  The hospital refused to do it without the insurance company pre-approving it, so she couldn’t do it last night because they were taking too long and we had to return the rental car and pick up her car before everything closed.  Fucking ass nightmare.  Their theory now is that her thyroid is wrapping around her esophagus – and an ultrasound wouldn’t show that.  She got them to let her schedule for next week.

Josh uses Androgel – he has for over a year.  All of a sudden my Rx insurance fucks have decided they’re not gonna pay for it.  I’m still waiting for the doc’s office to call and tell me what they’re going to be able to do about this.  He ran out yesterday.  I’m pissed.  It’s the closest I’ve gotten to him taking something for his moods and I really don’t want to go back to how things used to be.

Evie is being an utter little shit head about her medicine.  The only thing I’ve found so far to get her to take it is to grind the pill into a powder and then massage that into a piece of lunch meat like you would a seasoning rub, cut that into tiny pieces, and pray like hell she’s hungry.  Really getting very frustrated by this, so I’m calling the vet here in a bit and having her get me the transdermal stuff.  It’s only $2 more expensive per month and I’m really pretty sure I can get that little hoochie mama to let me pet her ears.

And it’s COLD here right now, really fucking cold.  At last check it’s a whole 7 fucking degrees.  I’ve got on a long sleeved shirt and a denim jacket, corduroy pants, and hand-knit wool socks.  I am wearing clogs, but I’m pretty well bundled otherwise.  I’ve only been able to smoke full cigarettes when I’m in the car – it’s just too fucking cold to stand out in the open.  And they’re talking snow this weekend, 2 – 4″.  God I fucking hate winter.

me? an adult?

Tags

say what?, work

I got pulled into a meeting this morning to discuss who we should bring in for a workshop in February.  Based on the topic, I said, “what about the guy I just got this last bit of research from?”  (why do I open my fucking mouth?)  Anyway, the group said that was great – go email him.  So I did.  And he said it sounds great.  And my brain threatened to explode.

I had a contact in the industry that my super smart colleagues didn’t know about.

I asked a favor of the contact.

Even though it means coming to the Midwest in the middle of winter, he said sure.

I have totally saved the day because this shit is really quite interesting.

Now, can anyone explain to me why I feel entirely too young to have pulled something like this off?  (for reference, I’m 37)