Tags
bipolar disorder, kids, life, limits, meds, mental health, mental illness, normal, random shit that falls out of my brain, sick, skin conditions, sleep, stress, the world is full of fucking idiots
Oh sweet ceiling cat, why in the fuck aren’t I on a tropical island sipping something out of a coconut and being fanned by an oiled young man that doesn’t speak a word of English?
Josh decided he’d make brownies yesterday to show me he loves me. I’m trying to lose weight and he bakes brownies. With frosting. Could have killed him. When I finally got to eat one he had cooked them entirely too long and they were like bricks.
He was home for 2 days and did not call to see about getting his transcripts from the high school. (apparently the community college has changed something and he needs these before he can enroll again – that and pay another $200 or so in back tuition)
There was clean laundry piled on top of dirty laundry and it was all upstairs in a chair. I had to carry it down when I got home.
I generally only shower every other day – my skin is way too dry this time of year to tolerate even a lukewarm shower every single day. I’ve told him countless times that he needs to rinse the bottom of the tub when he’s done otherwise it’s slippery – and given that I’m not always sure on my feet that time of morning, I’m afraid I’ll fall.
So this morning I fell.
I caught my foot on the drain thingy and went down hard on my side and banged the other side against the wall of the tub. I laid there and prayed for death for a few minutes. So I was running late, trying to grab everything I needed on my way out, and neglected to see my big bottle of Tylenol sitting on the kitchen island.
Stupid fuck had taken it out of my purse the other day when he stayed home and never put it back. And no one around here takes Tylenol – why would they? Aleve and Advil work tons better for most people. So I’ve had throbbing bits all day long because he couldn’t be bothered to rinse the shower or put my pills back.
He’s been texting me all fucking day. I want nothing to do with him. I’ve been legitimately busy enough to avoid him. At lunch I could tell he was calling but I was right in the middle of helping a faculty member. Rather than just leave a message on my cell phone he decided to call my office number. (I didn’t know he even had it) The office phone is forwarded to where I am today, but as I said – I was busy, my new co-worker, S, was not. She picked up the phone and that dumbass started talking to her, assuming that it was me. Fortunately he didn’t say anything inappropriate and she figured it out pretty quick, but still. And then, even after she had told him I was helping someone, he continued to send me texts the entire time he was at lunch.
I sent him one text this afternoon to tell him that I’ll be late – that’s been it. Today of all days I seriously wish I had a girlfriend that lived here in town that I felt comfortable calling up and asking to couch surf for the night. My closest pal like that lives an hour south of here and might have her daughter tonight. Plus, the weather is supposed to turn to shit tomorrow.
Oh, and another thing – I sent that email to Josh’s idiot ex telling her he’s been sick and it’s probably not a good idea for the brat to come over and she replies that the brat has probably already had what Josh has so it’s maybe not a big deal, but she’ll ASK THE BRAT and let her decide. Excuse me? Yeah, ask the fucking 10 year old kid what her opinion is about something like this. Here, let me nominate your ass for mommy of the year.
For fuck sake, I am just surrounded by stupid right now…
And the decrease in Depakote either isn’t working very fast or isn’t going to work at all. I kind of think maybe it’s getting worse – though I suppose that could be “pissed off” in action. I just really want to feel physically normal for awhile, is that too much to ask?
First, “empathy” like.
Second, (((hugs)))
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Thanks. 🙂 I’m making him make up for it by cooking dinner and fetching things.
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Ugh! I feel bad when I whine about my issues, because I never have days this bad. Hugs to you…
I do admit though…. those burnt brownies sound tasty. Feel free to send them my way….
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Thanks for the hugs, you can never have too many.
Don’t ever apologize for whining when you need to. A hard day is a hard day – it doesn’t have to be qualified. There’s a wonderful motivational speaker named Ash Beckham who does a bit about that – totally worth finding on YouTube and watching.
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I wish I could send you this island ( just one for you and the coconut-drink and the oiled young man). I don’t know if I could stand all that, sending you a box of virtual power….
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Thanks. My little private dream island would totally welcome canine friends. 🙂
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ok, I will add a palm tree or two, just in case :o)
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Mama xxxx I don’t blame you for being pissed! I wish I was close enough for you to come over…you could live on my couch if you wanted to. Heck, you could come stay every weekend his daughter comes…I’ve got a kid but he is a dream to have around. The only time we see him dome days is when he’s hungry.
Please take care today and make sure you’ve not fractured anything in that fall. It’s really easy to do and I can imagine you’d push through the pain… God. What a day.
I’ll have a spot on the couch in your honor tonight and will pour you a glass of wine so you can put your feet up and do absolutely nothing! In spirit anyway. Much love. xx
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Eh, I’m alright. I took a couple of doses of Tylenol last night and that seems to have helped. I’m a tough old goat. 🙂 But thanks for worrying about me. It’s nice to know there really are folks who give a shit about me. Just kind of sad to think that the man who promised to love me in sickness and in health generally can’t be bothered.
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I know 😦 I keep hoping he’ll just wake up and start taking care of you better. It should be a two way street…taking care of each other.
(hugs) I do care for you and worry when you’re not feeling at your best. Always.
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Thanks sweetie. ❤
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