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It’s been a really unusual weekend, which is saying a lot considering who’s writing this post. Let me see if I can get y’all up to date.

I went and saw T-bone Friday morning and we had a really great conversation. I told him that I’m 99% ready to let go of this mess. The problem is that I cave when I get in a room alone with Josh. It’s not that he intimidates me – not at all. I just see the potential again and I forget about all of the bullshit.

Every. Fucking. Time.

So when he got home from work on Friday I told him that I see this going one of three ways.

  1. We agree that it’s not worth it anymore, he packs his shit and leaves.
  2. He starts behaving like a grown ass man, learns to take responsibility for his own life, stops putting everything on me, and we finally have a real marriage.
  3. Things stay just like they are, I let the resentment build to hate, he ends up in a shallow grave in the back yard.

He says he’ll work on growing up. I told him I’m going to start pushing. For example, his next psych appointment is April 7. My next therapy appointment is April 7. He’ll have to go by himself.

He did start the Seroquel Friday night, and man was that interesting. He took 50mg at 7pm and by 9:15 was out cold. I wasn’t able to get him out of bed until 9:30 yesterday morning, and even then he wasn’t totally with it. He took 50mg again last night and I’m not sure what time he fell asleep, but I don’t think it was very late. I was exhausted and crashed shortly after 9. Anyway, I’ve told him that if he thinks he’s going to have a hard time driving on Monday I’ll be happy to cart him in to work.

Birthday Update

It’s been pretty interesting, mostly in a good way.

the cutest squirrel shirt EVAH!

the cutest squirrel shirt EVAH!

I finally got to wear the totally awesome squirrel shirt from Gold Fish and I love it. Sheena had asked for a product review, so here goes:

  • the shirt itself is from American Apparel which means it was indeed made in the US – which I really like
  • the color is great!
  • fit is spot on – I ordered a 2x and it fits just like I wanted it to; roomy enough to not bind anywhere but not so big that it looks sloppy
  • the screen printing looks high quality – the image is nice and crisp
  • and I think it’s funny as fuck that he looks like he’s biting my boob
hiding under all that gravy is homemade chicken fried steak and mashed potatoes

hiding under all that gravy is homemade chicken fried steak and mashed potatoes

Super awesome birthday dinner that I cooked myself. I realize it doesn’t look like much since I insist on smothering it in as much gravy as possible, but take my word for it – this was my best batch ever. Evidently I have an easier time making this rather labor intensive meal when I’m by myself.

Dairy Queen ice cream cake

Dairy Queen ice cream cake

I was craving nostalgia. And that gooey chocolate stuff in the middle. The frosting sucked though.

a water color painting from the kid

a water color painting from the kid

This will be going to my office. I don’t think it’s at all bad for an 11 year old.

new bucket

new bucket

Wow, this picture kind of sucks. Anyway, Josh and the kid got me a new purse. It’s damn near twice as big as what I was carrying, but it has almost exactly the same pocket configuration, which is crucial. The color is called “tomatoe” but I don’t think it’s quite that red, more orange-y.

All in all it hasn’t been a terrible weekend. I have managed to get quite a bit done. Next week is Spring Break for us which really only means… Um… Well, nothing for me. Eh, oh well.