Tags
anxiety, bipolar disorder, depression, hypomania, life, limits, mental health, mental illness, money, moods, motivation, pretty/shitty, projects, sick, stress, the world is full of fucking idiots, work
Judging by what I’m seeing on others’ blogs, this “not good” stuff is going around. And while misery does love company, I don’t like misery of any kind. Like I said yesterday, I try my best not to bitch, but I think maybe it’s time to share a little of what’s been going on so y’all know why I’m maybe not my usual perky self.
I’m still not really sleeping all that great. Not getting enough sleep is probably the fastest way for me to get in trouble. Not enough for long enough will drive me into mania. And the higher up I go the farther down I fall. It’s a gradual process, contrary to what that rotten ass “Black Box” show would have you believe, so there’s hope there – acknowledging that that’s where I’m headed means I can do something about it. And I’m trying, but it’s kind of hard and it mostly sucks. I haven’t reached a dangerous place yet, but there’s emphasis on that YET.
Josh made some particularly poor financial decisions prior to meeting me, like not filing income tax. The government has found him and would like their money. Now. This all started last year and I was able to setup a monthly repayment plan with one of the states involved and that’s been fine. Not exactly exciting coming up with an extra $300+ every month, but whatevs. When the IRS came calling he decided to try appealing. A year later and there’s been no real progress made other than them denying the appeal and saying he still needs to file and then pay. I’m no help with this at all because the reason he didn’t file was that he was self-employed and didn’t know how. Never been there so hey, useless. They’re wanting something in the neighborhood of $10k. And there’s still one more state that should be wanting to get involved at some point.
My GI system apparently hates me because damn near anything I put in my mouth comes shooting out almost immediately. Normally my body has the decency to limit this behavior to mornings, but last night I got hit right after dinner. That meant I didn’t go to sleep until later. (see above section about not getting enough sleep) But I’m not losing any weight because why should I possibly get something decent out of this misery.
Work is kind of terrible right now. 99% of the time I absolutely love my job. I’m good at what I do and I love doing it, most of our faculty are great people, and I have a few people I work with directly that I really like. But summer is always super busy for us. Plus my boss is crabby as fuck about a project that’s not going her way (that I’m not in on, thank gawd), there’s a new implementation to prep for (that I think the timing on is utter shit), and two of my teammates do less work combined than your average dead earthworm. My talents keep getting recognized, which is awesome, but all that really means is more work for less money than the dead worms, plus more meetings which means less time in my office to actually do all of the work I’ve been tasked with.
So I guess all of that to say that I’m wound a little extra tight right now.
How will I manage? By being weird, of course! The idea for this little gem comes from Rose. She asked me the other day if I put together the photo/quote things I like to share, which I don’t, but that got me thinking – why not? I haven’t quite come up with a good idea for this bit yet, but I’m leaning towards pretty/shitty. The photo was done by someone else (found with the “licensed for non-comm ok to reuse and modify” bit) but the sentiment is all Mama. Let me know what you think.
NotAPunkRocker said:
Shitty…and Pretty! I like this idea 🙂
I am sorry you have got so much going on right now. It does seem to be a phase a lot of us are in, but it doesn’t make it any better. ((hugs)), drinks, smokes, and whatever else is needed to get through all this.
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Mental Mama said:
M&Ms will save us all.
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merbear74 said:
Love the meme…and I am with you 100% percent. I am all out of whack this week, and my IBS is flaring..I am afraid to eat, but know I have to try. Life stinks big time right now, honey….you are not alone. All we can do is try and laugh.
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Mental Mama said:
Thanks sweetie. Right now I’m also trying peanut butter M&Ms. Because chocolate and potty right across the hall.
I’ve got some other pretty pics saved, just trying to think of the proper shit to say over them. I’m glad you liked it. 🙂
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behindthemask said:
Hugs and love the meme
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Mental Mama said:
Thanks sweetie.
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Farmer Farthing said:
Haha I love it!! The meme NOT the crappy time right now.
Big hugs and I hope things get better really soon xxx
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Mental Mama said:
Thanks, I hope so too. I always manage to pull through these things, somehow. Glad you like the meme, I’m working on more now. Thinking that might become yet another regular feature.
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Twindaddy said:
This too shall pass.
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Mental Mama said:
Totes true, the question is – will the smell be enough to knock all of us unconscious?
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Twindaddy said:
I have my helmet on…
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Mental Mama said:
That’s probably good.
And yet again I was out on the Google looking for images and BOOM – tits. I quit.
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Twindaddy said:
What’s wrong with tits?
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Mental Mama said:
Nothing, per se, but my search term was “computer.”
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Twindaddy said:
Perhaps you should turn Safe Search on…
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Mental Mama said:
Eh, can’t be bothered. Besides, it’s not like I don’t know what tits look like – I keep a pair with me at all times. Well, what passes for a pair anyway. It’s actually just one and it runs back and forth across my chest really fast giving the illusion of two separate tits.
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Twindaddy said:
Um…wow.
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Bradley said:
Now I’m nervous, I haven’t paid my taxes in years,,,so many I don’t remember. Sorry you’re having a bad run. You’re right, it does seem to be going around.
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Mental Mama said:
Maybe if you just never pay them they don’t get pissed. He didn’t pay for awhile and then I insisted he start again and then “hi, we’re the IRS and we don’t use lube.”
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Rose said:
The ick is for SHO’ going round. I’ve got a bad case of it myself. The worst is when there is work stress AND home stress, because then there’s nowhere to go to get away from all the mess. I do hope Josh can get his taxes figured out, and maybe you could get a med tweak? I was on the phone with doc this morning, having my meds tweaked. I find it funny that they have time to see me any other time than what I really REALLY need it. Ok, it’s not funny. It blows. At least I have instructions on what to do with meds and I guess my pdoc seems to think I can do this myself, since I did it with little intervention last time. I’m ranting, I’m raving, I’m in your comments. I’m sorry, dear. I should go post!
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Mental Mama said:
No worries, rant and rave away – Mama’s house is safe. If shit doesn’t settle down my beauty sleep this weekend I’ll be calling shrinky-poo first thing Monday morning and demanding an immediate consult.
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aliceatwonderland said:
I have a friend whose husband screwed up on his taxes too and they file separately. Would that help you? I had to get over myself and go to outpatient therapy this week. I think it’s helping some, even if the cost is a bitch. I hope you find some way to get away from the stress – we both know the farther you go ignoring yourself, the harder it is coming back.
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Mental Mama said:
We’ve been filing separately because of back child support, but this is from shit that happened before he became my responsibility, so all I can really do is try to help him sort it all out. And actually next year I’ll probably see what will happen if we do file together – if the “return” is large enough to knock out all of the back child support debt in one lump then I’ll probably just do that and get it over with.
Glad to hear the outpatient stuff is helping. Your health is worth any amount of money.
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MissRhiosace said:
Hugs hon, sorry that you’ve got it all going on right now x
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Mental Mama said:
Thanks, the weekend has helped considerably.
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1jaded1 said:
Ugh. I’m sorry it has sucked for you, as well. Please let June be better.
I love my job, too. I understand the coworkers who do less work than a dead earthworm, and will help them in anyway I can, for the greater good of the company. Last week worms tried to throw me under the bus and met my shoe. F*ckers.
Love the meme!
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Mental Mama said:
Thanks! I have plans to throw my cow-orkers under the bus soon. Yes, soon my precious… BWAHAHAHA!
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