Hey kids, sorry I’ve been absent lately. I had good intentions about posting earlier in the weekend, and posting the things I tend to, but I just couldn’t do it. There’s icky shit going down, and I just don’t have the usual upbeat bullshit at my disposal to blow up anyone ass right now.
I don’t feel good, either in my body or in my mind. Parts of the body that don’t normally ache are starting to. I can’t even make it all the way through smoking a single cigarette before my hand starts to cramp. Working the mouse for the computer has started sending pain from my wrist all the way up into my shoulder. And my legs, well, we’re just not talking about that.
Sleep continues to be an issue. Last night I went to bed fairly early like I should have, but had such bizarre and unpleasant dreams that I woke up every 30 minutes or so. I finally got up at 7 and felt like I hadn’t really slept at all.
And Josh and I haven’t gotten along, really at all, since Thursday. I’m not sure what’s going on with that, but it’s almost certainly my fault. And I just don’t care anymore.
I don’t know if I’ll even bother doing a Building Rome post tomorrow morning or an organizational skills post. They both feel pretty pointless right now.
I know that part of what’s making today hard – aside from having the kid here – is it being Father’s Day. What a crock of shit, made up holiday this mess is. If you love your dad, you should show him/tell him every day. Because eventually he’ll be gone and you won’t be able to. My dad has been gone a little better than 2 years now. He was a good dad and a good man and he didn’t deserve to suffer like he did, no one really does.
Eh, fuck this shit. I’m gonna go see if I remember how to smoke with the other hand. I’ll catch up with y’all again later.