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10390511_1218607181560316_6727191738565889333_nI’m not feeling that great. My delightful insides decided late last night that it would be LOTS OF FUN to start getting sick shortly before Josh got home. He doesn’t get home until almost 10pm. I took the maximum recommended monthly allowance of medicine and it still didn’t work. So I didn’t manage to even start falling asleep until Quite Late.

10450529_10152109986821363_7539882587689251968_nNeedless to say, I am not my usual easy going, fun loving self right now.

10486969_537053543083991_3603894898382235699_nYeah, so… While I might not be totally living the dream at work right now, I do value being employed and the whole paycheck thing I’ve got going on, so I opted for staying home and resting. That feels like a smart decision right now.

At any rate, I’ll be hanging out and trying to do chores. Or something. I’m not terribly motivated right now. I’ve written some more shit for here, made a few pages, some banner thingies – you know, nothing important.

calvinI’ve got an appointment with shrinky-poo this afternoon to see how things are going with the Depakote increase. If I’m honest, I haven’t noticed a difference. But is that the dose, or is it too much stress, or is it my typical summer = too much sun, and too much sun = not enough sleep, or is it something else entirely?

strength of characterI know I’ll be alright. I’ve got Mom and Josh and my BFF and K and shrinky-poo and T-Bone and all of you. And after all the bullshit I put myself through, I know that I’m a whole lot stronger than I ever give myself credit for. But anyone who lives with a chronic condition like a mental illness or fibro or lupus will tell you that this shit fucking wears on you.

strongHang in there with me kids, we’ll get through it all together. Just remember, when you need me, I’m on the other side of the screen…

helping hand