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As someone who is closer to 40 than not, and has a mental condition that causes problems with sleep, AND likes to rip portions of the house apart to clean them out and reorganize purely for the hell of it, I ask you – is there really a GOOD kind of tired?

Because right now I am 100% exhausted and I think it might actually be easier to roll over and die than take a shower so I can tolerate being in my own skin.

2014-07-19 11.19.09That was the view standing at the foot of my bed (that green bit in the lower right corner was perched on the cedar chest that’s pushed up against the bed) and that WASN’T ALL OF IT.

2014-07-19 11.19.25Same mess just shot from a different angle. But honestly, we are only 3 people. And most of that shit belonged to Mom and I. (oh and most of it was holiday crap)

But we opened every fucking box, took the stuff out, if we didn’t want it/need it, we had Josh haul it out to the jeep and he’s already made one run to the thrift shop. Amongst the things I found:

  • my childhood stuffed animals and security blanket
  • the cross stitch pictures I’d been looking for
  • my entire collection of snowflake ornaments, including all of the ones I’ve made
  • enough christmas cards to fill an entire plastic shoe box (shut up Mom)
  • and a knitting journal I forgot I had started

2014-07-19 16.34.20Oddly enough, just like it sounds – a journal for keeping track of knitting projects.

All in all it’s been a pretty good day. I did have the appointment with shrinky-poo yesterday afternoon. She told me to go back to only 1000mg of Depakote every night, and she wrote me an Rx for more gabapentin to take during the day for the anxiety. We’re all hoping that takes care of it.

But get this – last night after dinner I actually sat on the couch and worked on the current wash cloth while watching a hilarious movie with Mom and Josh. It was a wonderful evening. Now if I can just de-stinkify myself, I might be able to do that again.