Tags
anxiety, bipolar disorder, family, goals, knitting, love, meds, mental health, mental illness, motivation, projects, sleep, stress
As someone who is closer to 40 than not, and has a mental condition that causes problems with sleep, AND likes to rip portions of the house apart to clean them out and reorganize purely for the hell of it, I ask you – is there really a GOOD kind of tired?
Because right now I am 100% exhausted and I think it might actually be easier to roll over and die than take a shower so I can tolerate being in my own skin.
That was the view standing at the foot of my bed (that green bit in the lower right corner was perched on the cedar chest that’s pushed up against the bed) and that WASN’T ALL OF IT.
Same mess just shot from a different angle. But honestly, we are only 3 people. And most of that shit belonged to Mom and I. (oh and most of it was holiday crap)
But we opened every fucking box, took the stuff out, if we didn’t want it/need it, we had Josh haul it out to the jeep and he’s already made one run to the thrift shop. Amongst the things I found:
- my childhood stuffed animals and security blanket
- the cross stitch pictures I’d been looking for
- my entire collection of snowflake ornaments, including all of the ones I’ve made
- enough christmas cards to fill an entire plastic shoe box (shut up Mom)
- and a knitting journal I forgot I had started
Oddly enough, just like it sounds – a journal for keeping track of knitting projects.
All in all it’s been a pretty good day. I did have the appointment with shrinky-poo yesterday afternoon. She told me to go back to only 1000mg of Depakote every night, and she wrote me an Rx for more gabapentin to take during the day for the anxiety. We’re all hoping that takes care of it.
But get this – last night after dinner I actually sat on the couch and worked on the current wash cloth while watching a hilarious movie with Mom and Josh. It was a wonderful evening. Now if I can just de-stinkify myself, I might be able to do that again.
Mental in the Midwest 
The picture of your bedroom looks surprisingly similar to my living room and it’s all driving me crazy. I haven’t gone through a major clean-up mode in a long time. I guess I’ll have to force myself. (sigh)
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I’ll tell ya, the biggest help for me when it comes to a project like this is having at least one other person there to help. Since some of the stuff we were going through belongs to Mom that made a lot of sense, but even when we were going through my boxes, having her there meant I essentially had another set of hands to put things in piles, or sort tangled things, etc. And having Josh on hand meant we had someone to run things up to the car and then run and get lunch and that kind of stuff.
So yes, phone a friend. 😀
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Wanna come organize my place?! lol
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Hey, if I could justify that much time off work (for travel) I would love to come visit. From the pictures you’ve posted it looks like the part of the world you live in is beyond beautiful. And I know the company would be amazing. 🙂
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Awww how sweet! I know we’d have fun together for sure but the part of the world I live in right now is actually awful..lol
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My laundry room cries out for your attention, next time you’re in my area! : )
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Oh honey, be careful what you wish for. You’re actually close enough geographically. 😉
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Hah, my answer to that question, is no there is no such thing as a good kind of tired. However, there is a good kind of pain, and that is exercise pain. 🙂
Way to sort things about. 🙂 There are some things I need to do that with but not quite ready to yet.
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I understand that, entirely. I’ve been trying to get the bits that haven’t been cleaned out properly taken care of in smallish chunks. And it’s kind of odd, maybe, but I was telling Josh last night that I’ve actually spent *more* time relaxing this weekend than I normally would almost in spite of getting so much done. It’s amazing.
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Hah, that is pretty awesome! 😀
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If it makes you feel better, that’s what it looks like at my childhood home as well. But kudos for the motivation to organize that stuff! I’ve yet to feel that with all of my things. And yes, there’s a good tired. You’re still stinky, sweaty and achy in the muscles and joints, but the sense of accomplishing something is WAY better than just sitting on your bum and listening to your muscles atrophy.
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It helps that Mom is here and was also motivated for this project since it involved a significant portion of her stuff. She actually told me already this morning that a little later this morning she wants me to help her with one of the closets upstairs. 🙂
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I hope for more wonderful evenings and days for you. (and I always smile when I read “shrinky poo”) I wish I could start my “clean out project” too but currently my weaker self is not ready…
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Thank you! After I posted that I hung out in my “office” space for a bit until Josh sent a text that he was on his way home from getting groceries, took a shower, made dinner, and then sat on the couch knitting and watching tv with “the kids.” It was a very lovely evening.
If you ever had the chance to meet shrinky-poo, you would definitely smile. She’s not like any other psychiatrist I’ve ever met. She’s a wonderful person and is genuinely concerned with my health and well being. 🙂
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When I see the pictures it hits home about how mammoth a task this was! Yoiu should be very proud and hopefully destinkified by now 🙂
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I am, definitely. And I went on to help cook a lovely meal last night and then we all relaxed on the sofas with ice cream and goofy tv and I am *this close* to finishing the wash cloth I wanted to for this week. Yay! 😀
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Well done Mama, I reckon it’s definitely a ‘good’ and ‘accomplished’ kind of tired 🙂 xx
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Oh it was, but I still felt rather like roadkill. 😉
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I forgot to mention, it really IS handy to have a guy around to schlep things up and down stairs, to the thrift store, to pick up lunch. Kudos to Josh on this one for helping. 😀
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It is indeed. He’s been a phenomenal help this weekend. We couldn’t have done it without him! 😀
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I have to somehow continue cleaning my upstairs that is crammed full of crap. Mer and I started it but got too sick to finish it. I guess just go back to a little every week. I am NOT an organized person. So it takes me awhile. Lol
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I admire your organizational skills
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Josh calls it a sickness. 😉 But thanks. It really is my brain not being able to handle chaos on the inside and the outside at the same time. And even I find it easier to tackle bits at a time.
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My husband Bob is the same. I have gotten better over the years, but really wish I was better at organization.
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