something personal, perhaps?

Tags

divorce, Evie Cat, friends, life, limits, love, meds, mental health, mental illness, money, moods, motivation, stress, the world is full of fucking idiots

I realize that posting this morning about my med regime is quite personal, but I wanted to pop in and just sort of, well, you know – chat. How utterly house frau of me. But honestly, I know that many of you – well, at least a few of you – have expressed giving a rat’s ass about the goings on at Chez Mama and I didn’t want to leave you hanging.

Interesting Thing #1

There are now passwords on my cell phone and my laptop. It’s actually the same, quite rude, password. I realized that guarding the access to certain things was probably a good idea.

Interesting Thing #2

I am getting a shitload of stuff done lately. I’m not really spending much time worrying about what Josh is doing, or spending much time with him, and that means I have more time to do things I would like to do. Loving that.

Interesting Thing #3

I went to the grocery store on my way home from work tonight. This isn’t really interesting in and of itself, except that this is – I think – the very first time I’ve felt ok doing that since we’ve been married. I had things I needed, I didn’t want to come home just to see him only to have to head out again. And I took my time. I looked at things I might want. I didn’t purposely drag my feet, but I also didn’t rush to make sure I got home before he left. I got here about 15 minutes after he left and I do not feel deprived one single bit. Also, I took off my little cardigan and walked around in just a spaghetti strap tank top thereby flaunting a good amount of ink. It felt fabulous.

Interesting Thing #4

I’ve kept up with the drawing. This is my latest, not quite finished, piece.

I’m just not quite sure what color to make the open areas. I’m contemplating a very light blue or possibly silver.

Interesting Thing #5

He is either completely oblivious to what’s going on, or doesn’t care. Last night he did finally realize that he needed to register for the Fall term at school and got most of the way into the system before asking me how to finish. That’s progress, but I’m thinking “too little/too late” right about now. I’m still being pleasant, but not really overly anything.

And apparently I can’t write a post that doesn’t include lots of weird ass pictures. Whatevs.

Anyway, things are going well. I feel appropriately in control of the situation, and that’s really nice for a change. Today was payday – the first with my new raise on it – and that was also really nice. I’m not rolling in the dough, but I should be able to keep Evie in kibble for awhile. I might actually sit down with my budget tonight and see what needs to happen. Someone needs to start making a legitimate contribution to the finances, like now.