Tags
anxiety, bipolar disorder, goals, life, limits, meds, mental health, mental illness, moods, motivation, sleep, stress, the world is full of fucking idiots, work
The general consensus is that there really isn’t anything wrong with ME. Shrinky-poo actually went so far as to say to me, “so Mama, there really isn’t anything I need to be treating you for right now that I haven’t been treating you for over the last several years.” Which means, I’M FUCKING FINE. And I don’t go back until September.
Her professional opinion is that my anxiety is at an appropriate level and is being appropriately managed with the medications. She approves of the use of the Soma to assist with the muscle aches, and she said that while she wouldn’t have insisted that I start seeing T-Bone again, she doesn’t think it’s a bad idea. Hey, free pass off campus early to visit a cool old dude – I’ll take it.
I also showed her the flower girl pic on my phone and told her about the DBT skills I’ve been using to help supplement the meds and she expressed pride in my ability to do that. And she thought the picture was cool. So yeah, I’m doing everything I’m supposed to be doing.
SUCK IT!!!
My day was pretty ridiculous today, and sadly that’s going to be the trend for the next month or so. I didn’t even get enough time between meetings to be considered a lunch break, so I haven’t listened to the CD yet. I’ll try later. I did, however, manage to get myself on the treadmill already tonight.
HOLY HELL, WHEN DID I GET SO OLD AND OUT OF SHAPE???
I walked a whole 15 minutes at 2.5 mph. When I got off, I thought someone had snuck in and replaced my legs with Silly Putty. Damn, that sucked. But at the same time, it felt good. And I will likely sleep better. My intention is to walk every week day evening, either while Josh is in the shower or while he’s at school. I’m going to work back up to longer times, but I know from experience that this will go better if I do it slow. But I did something tonight, and that’s what counts. So YAY.
At any rate, I’m still trying to figure out if it’s best to schedule posts ahead so that y’all get something every day, or wait until the evenings and hope that I have time to give you an update. If you’d like to leave your input on that, I’d love to hear what you think.
melissa nacinovich said:
I’m not a fan of scheduling posts, but that’s just me. I write it and then I post it. I also don’t really have a life or a schedule so….yeah. Do what works for you and we’ll read it whenever you post it
: )
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Mental Mama said:
I appreciate honesty. Except yours. No, seriously, I never used to schedule posts partially because I had no fucking clue how. Now it’s become sort of necessity, or at least it feels that way. I don’t have time in the mornings at work like I used to, so that’s out. The nights that Josh is at school I have time, but the nights he’s home not as much. Then too, I’m starting classes again later this month so my “free” time gets cut back even further. Argh.
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melissa nacinovich said:
Lol yeah, you probably need to schedule them then. We don’t want you to stop posting!!
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Tempest Rose said:
I wish I could get ahead enough to schedule posts! But from what I’ve found, most readers actually don’t like daily posts. They find them harder to keep up with. Although, since I’ve started posting pretty much daily, my stats have gone up.
And yay for you for being fine! I’m actually afraid my therapist is going to tell me the same thing.
Also, I get out of breath chasing my son ten feet. So don’t feel bad.
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Mental Mama said:
These days pretty much everything happens in bursts, so I try to write several posts in an evening and then let one drop each day. I tend to like blogs that are quite active, so that’s how things generally happen here.
The concept of being fine is scary, particularly for those of us who have been not-fine for a long time. The first time shrinky-poo told me the feeling I was having was what a “normal” person would call Tuesday, I wanted to slap her. Normal kind of sucks.
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Farmer Farthing said:
I reckon you should just go with the flow and do what works best for you.
Well done on the treadmill!!! You’re a far more dedicated that I am đŸ™‚ xx
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Mental Mama said:
Thanks, hon. As long as I don’t find that I’m pissing folks off with too many posts, I’ll keep on keeping on.
The treadmill isn’t so bad, however, that’s due in part to the tv mounted on the wall in front of it, the ceiling fan overhead, and the big tower fan behind you. It’s not quite impossible to get too hot in there, but almost. đŸ˜€ And thank you, I was rather proud of myself as well.
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Farmer Farthing said:
I think if I was surrounded by fans and able to look at something of interest rather than the wall, I might just have a bit more motivation too! xx
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Mental Mama said:
Amazing what a difference not sweating and being amused will make. đŸ˜‰
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scottishmomus said:
I think scheduling’s a good idea by the sound of your situation. I might consider it myself once I start back next week. The new term’s always busy and I might be zonked when I come in. Only problem for me with scheduling when I’ve tried it is I go back and tinker whereas I just write and post usually. Although I sometimes tinker then too after posting! I say do what feels right for you.
Glad to hear that you’re doing better.x
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Mental Mama said:
It seems to work for now, so no sense in fixing what’s not really broken. đŸ˜‰
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serins said:
I get you via e-mail, so whenever you want to post – just post. đŸ™‚
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Mental Mama said:
Thanks. đŸ™‚
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