anxiety, bipolar disorder, depression, divorce, family, life, limits, love, mental health, mental illness, moods, motivation, school, sick, skin conditions, sleep, stress, the world is full of fucking idiots
Today would have been my dad’s 68th birthday. I miss him. A lot. He was funny and kind and just a great guy. I hope he and my grandma are hanging out and having some cake with God.
Life is not swell, I think I mentioned that. I’m pretty sure I’m just about eye-to-eye with my 3rd divorce. It’s really all for the better. If that man actually feels about me the way he described yesterday, there’s absolutely no reason for us to be together. And as for me, I have no feelings for him at all anymore.
I have an appointment to meet with my professor tomorrow afternoon. I’m not understanding this class and it’s stressing me out. I won’t get a raise if I finish this degree, it won’t earn me more money, it doesn’t really do anything tangible for me. And right now all I’m getting is more stress that I really don’t need. I may very well drop the damn thing.
The appointment with the dermatologist yesterday did go well. After waiting 30 minutes to meet her, I found that she was everything the GP promised. She explained several treatment options (surgery didn’t come up!), told me what to do at home to help prevent this from flaring up again, and she took a culture of the current drainage site to determine what bacteria we’re fighting. I’m supposed to hear back later this week to see if I keep taking the current antibiotic or if I have to switch to something else. I really does help to know why I’ve got this issue (genetics) and that there are things I can do to help, besides losing 100lbs.
I know I should do a Building Rome/Life Worth Living post soon, but last week was such a write-off. I’ll get to it. Right now I’m just trying to see if I can get in to see T-Bone this week instead of waiting until next Wednesday. Given the way things are escalating with Josh I’m thinking I’ll need all the help I can get.