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I gave in yesterday and went to the doctor’s office. At 1am I got up because I was coughing so hard I figured I was either going to pass out or puke. I finally made enough noise to get Josh’s attention and he made sure I didn’t hurt myself. When it happened again at 3:30 I went and woke Mom up. (there are amazing advantages to being nearly 40 and living with your mother) She made me hot tea and then we both went to the couch to try to get more sleep, her thought being that maybe I’d do better sleeping more upright. At 7 something I took another Mucinex pill and waited for the doc’s office to open.

The office here is interesting. They won’t schedule you an appointment for a Saturday until Saturday morning. This is really kind of awesome – people like me who aren’t actually sick enough to need an ER can get in to see a doc without having to fight for appointment slots with people who would just prefer to do routine crap on a weekend. But it’s not the usual docs and they have a skeleton crew and they totally decide when you call if you warrant an appointment or not. Fortunately I did, and I was so special because of my symptoms that I got to wear a face mask while I was there.

Yay me.

The doc was incredibly dismissive. He told me that I wasn’t sick enough to warrant testing for influenza (which is actually good because it means I can go back to work tomorrow) and the only things he was willing to offer as prescriptions were shit I couldn’t or wouldn’t take anyway. He actually offered me hydrocodone to deal with the back spasms from coughing so hard. WHAT? Uh no, thanks, I don’t need your fancy little tic-tacs. So he said to keep up with my current regime of:

  • Mucinex DM every 12 hours
  • Tessalon cough perles every 8 hours (the ONLY Rx I’m taking and they don’t really work)
  • humidifier running by the bed at night
  • plenty of fluids
  • Vick’s vaporub
  • hot showers
  • hot tea with honey
  • no smoking
  • throat lozenges if I want them

And the real kicker?

HOT TODDIES

Because booze is totally a cough suppressant doncha know.

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