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I’m waiting for a call back from the dermatologist so that I can hopefully get in for an appointment today or, at the very least, have her call out an Rx for an antibiotic. I have one of those cysts further around towards the back of my leg and it’s draining, a lot. This is good because at least the infection isn’t building up under the surface and making a big painful lump. It’s bad because as it drains the fluid dries on my special shorts and when I get up or move around the fabric moves independent of the skin and rips the scab off.

Wow, that’s really gross just to write it out.

Anyway, it’s making walking and sitting and laying down all kind of painful. And I still have this glorious cold. I was awake most of the night last night thanks to an unpleasant combination of:

  • Leg scab thingy
  • Cold = coughing non-stop for an hour in the middle of the night
  • Josh is an asshole

Evidently I’m not allowed to get sick, or take a day off work, or deviate in any way from a rigid schedule that I allegedly set for myself because when I do, I turn into the World’s Biggest Bitch. I actually expect him to perhaps look at me while he talks to me instead of playing with something electronic or watching the television over my shoulder while I’m trying to tell him that I feel like I’m being replaced by shit with screens. And we can’t actually have something that resembles a normal adult conversation, he has to snap and say the shittiest possible thing at every opportunity. Oh, and it’s gotta happen right when I’m trying to go to bed.

So I’m not feeling great today. Being sick always sucks, but I think being sick when you have a mental health issue sucks even more. There are only a few over the counter meds I can take to help with the cold issues and I’ve been taking that shit pretty religiously for more than a week now. I’m in a holding pattern until I hear from the dermatologist about my skin, but I’m trying to do what I know I’m supposed to. (did you know that you can get Hibiclens in a 32oz bottle? so much cheaper than the little ones)

The only thing I really don’t know what to do about is Josh. While Mom and I worked in the yard on Saturday he took care of most of the inside stuff, which was good. It was a critical tactical error on his part, but it was good for me. (now that he’s proven he can do this shit he’s going to get to do it more often!) And I really didn’t criticize the differences between how he does stuff and how I normally do it. But allegedly I spend 20 minutes out of every 60 being mad at him, giving him dirty looks, and saying mean things to him. If this is true, I don’t understand why he stays. But if I ask him that, I’m starting the next round of shit.

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