share your world – week #17

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share your world

I missed doing this last week, well, I missed doing a lot of things last week. But I’m back. So here are my answers for Cee’s Share Your World for week #17.

What is your most favorite smell/scent?

Lilacs, no doubt about it. We have a row of them growing along the entire length of the back yard. Mom planted them the first summer we were here, so that would have been in 1980. This is my favorite time of year because you just have to walk out there and inhale.

close up of one of the bushes right after a rain on 4/18

 

 

Do you prefer long hair or short hair for yourself? 

I’ve had both and I actually seem to go in cycles with it. I like my hair really short or reasonably long. It’s that in-between shit that annoys me. The length my hair is now is really pretty nice because it’s still easy to take care of (what I love about short hair) but still long enough to afford a variety of style options.

this is about where I like it best – not too long and not too short

 

Do you plan out things usually or do you do them more spontaneous (for example if you are visiting a big city you don’t know?)

I am SO a planner. I don’t need to have every single detail planned down to the minute, but I like to have a reasonable idea of what I’m doing and where I’m going. And I find that having a plan usually makes it easier for me to be spontaneous, which likely makes no sense to anyone but me.

What is your favorite outdoor activity?

This year I am getting into gardening. I’ve made a few decisions about what to plant and where and I’ve been helping Mom take care of the plants. I’m really enjoying it. There’s just something very rewarding about seeing something you’ve nurtured grow and flourish.

small piece of the big flower bed in the backyard

 

Bonus question:  What are you grateful for from last week, and what are you looking forward to in the week coming up?

I am extremely grateful that Mom and I were able to take our bus trip to Pella. I hadn’t realized just how much I needed a little time away. And because we were out of town there was no way for anyone to fuck up our fun.

This week I am looking forward to continued productivity. I woke up extra early today and have already been kicking ass and taking names. I’m going to try to keep that rolling.

Mom and I in Pella

super / suck

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bipolar disorder, getting creative, mental health, mental illness, motivation, projects, random shit that falls out of my brain, school, stress, work

Last night was good. I got home, took care of my usual “prep for the next day” garbage, started cleaning up some of my boards on Pinterest, and printed some ideas for projects I wanted to make. I did that because I figured I could still be working on things past my self-imposed “no computer” curfew. I’m smart every now and then.

That is a pair of earrings I made. Not exactly what I was going for, but they worked. I also got the outline for an interesting new drawing done and I finished another knit washcloth I had started over the week. Much progress, me likey.

This morning I got to work and started in on my normal ass-kicking routine. Things were going fine until one of the large muscles in my back decided to spasm. I do travel with extra drugs including some muscle relaxers. I took one, asked one of my pals for some Biofreeze, and then channeled my inner sloth. Damn near nothing was done the remainder of the day.

So now the drugs have worn off and it’s time to get back to doing stuff. I made myself a new banner with one of the tulip pics from the trip, I’ve done the “prep for tomorrow” stuff, and I’m getting ready to start working on some sort of project. I think.

Anyway, shit is pretty random around here right now. There’s still a ton to get done at work but I refuse to bring it home with me. I’ve earned the right to my evenings off and by christ I’m going to take them.

life worth living weekly update – April 27th

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building a life worth living, DBT, getting creative, goals, health, school, stress management, taking charge of my finances

If you’re just joining me for the first time, I’ve got a list of 10 Major Goals I want to accomplish before I turn 40 in 2016. That’s what I refer to as my Life Worth Living; it’s a DBT thing. If you don’t want to stay stuck where you’ve been in life, you have to figure out where you want to go and what it would take to truly make your life worth living.

Every week I do a Creative, Stress Management, Health, Financial, and School goal that tie back to my Building a Life Worth Living project. I’ve also added a Simplifying goal that ties into my plan to declutter my life this year. Bit by bit I’m reaching for the stars.

Update from last week:

Apparently I haven’t done this since April 13th. Hmm, I kind of suck. In my defense, life has been hella busy lately. School is just about done (THANK YOU CEILING CAT!!!), I’m still working to get ready for a presentation at work, plus 5 new classes that need to be developed and delivered this summer, plus I took the trip with Mom this last weekend… Yeah, little busy. So this is an update from the 13th I guess.

Creative:  I really would like to get back to drawing this week. I have plenty of room to do it and my supplies are very easy to get to. I had to check dates on files on the computer. There were 4 things from the 16th, but I know not all of those were done on that date. I’d say I got at least one done during that time span, so good enough. I have been knitting a lot.

Stress Management:  I am going to get back on the treadmill this week. I need to do it at least twice. *sigh* Nope.

Health:  All my pills INCLUDING VITAMINS, on time, every day. I did really good for awhile and then I sucked again.

Financial:  We need to get Josh’s taxes finished up and post marked. Done!

School:  Double check to make sure there’s nothing else I need to do and then just show up and play along. Tomorrow night is the last class, YAY!

Simplifying:  I honestly don’t think there’s a whole hell of a lot left to do, so I’m going to take a week off on this and contemplate. I hardly think it counts, but I’ll say “done” anyway.

Goals for this week:

I am hereby throwing out the School goal since I won’t be in school for a good long while. YAY!

Creative:  Something, really anything, creative this week. Could be drawing, knitting, some other random craft thing.

Stress Management:  I’ve been looking into various ideas for improving productivity and organization so that life runs a little smoother. I’m going to try to find something this week that I’ll implement no later than next week.

Health:  Pills on time every day, all of them, and full oral hygiene routine twice every day.

Financial:  Payday is Friday, for both of us, so I need to figure out the budget for the coming month. I’m thinking I’ll start applying the money that used to go towards the Honda to one of my other sort of small bills.

Simplicity:  I got a new pair of shoes on the Pella trip and I’ve picked up a few pieces of clothing so I’m kind of itching to do a small purge again. I’d also really like to go through my jewelry box again.

 

 

 

interruption of service

I realized this morning that I didn’t do my goals post last week and that I didn’t get around to doing the Share Your World post. Life at Chez Mama has been a little more unusual that usual lately. Things are mostly just fine, don’t worry about that. Just a lot of busy and a little more of me taking time for myself than I often do. There is still a lot going on though and I’m not really up for making a fully proper update at the moment. I will tell you that the trip Mom and I took yesterday was pretty fucking amazing.

*** I’ve been trying to upload pics of the trip for what feels like forever now. Since there’s still a lot left to do this evening before going back to work I’m afraid this is just going to have to wait until another day.

what if I had the power to change something?

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okay what if?

I know I’ve been absent for a few days, sorry. Things have been a bit beyond busy. So today instead of providing a proper update I’m going to take the easier way out and play along with The Indecisive Eejit’s Okay, What If? Challenge. The prompt this week is what if you could change one thing about yourself?

Easier… Oh fuck, what was I thinking???

Most of the things I’d be interested in changing are things that I almost certainly could change, provided I was willing to put forth some legitimate effort, or in a few cases just cough up a little cash.

I’d like to weigh less, mostly for health reasons, but up to this point I’ve not be willing to put forth the effort.

I’d like to not have to wear glasses/contacts anymore and I’m fairly sure that my insurance would cover at least part of lasik surgery, but I get freaked out when people get too close to my eyes.

I am not at all interested in having bigger boobs.

I mostly like my hair.

No tattoos that I regret.

I like my job most of the time. Mostly enough that I’m not even remotely interested in doing something different anywhere else.

I don’t usually mind having the mental illnesses because I mostly know how to manage them at this point.

Some extra patience would be good, but that’s a skill I could be working on if I really wanted to.

It could be cool to be more mathematically inclined, but again, thinking that’s really a skill that could be practiced.

So I guess there you have it, I’m just too lazy to even be bothered to come up with something to change.

doing what I must (and not feeling all that good about it)

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anxiety, bipolar disorder, friends, life, limits, mental health, mental illness, moods, sleep, stress, the world is full of fucking idiots

This may (or may not) surprise you to learn but I don’t have a whole lot of real live friends who live near me. There are a few women I work with that are friends in a sense, but they aren’t people I hang out with outside of work. I have the girls from class, and one of them is an employee in another department so I think she and I will stay in contact past the semester, but no guarantees. Again, not really “hanging out” type friends. Most of my time gets spent with family when it gets spent with anyone.

But I do have F. I’ve known her for years and she’s currently the only other person I know who lives with similar mental illnesses. Her flavors are a little different and she’s on a completely different med regime, but there’s enough similarity to empathize. Sounds pretty awesome, yeah?

Not so much.

I haven’t said anything about it because, well, I guess because I figured there was nothing to say. We don’t hang out all that much because she lives about an hour from me, also works full time, and has kids. But I’ve been noticing a pattern that I guess I just don’t like.

She’s most likely to get in touch when she needs help and doesn’t want to be embarrassed in front of her other friends, when something goes wrong with her mental health, when she’s gotten shit on by the latest love interest (who’s name I never do get to know), and in general when I’m the last possible option.

I got a text yesterday around lunch saying that she’ll be in town seeing a musical on Saturday and really wanted to meet for dinner. I’ll be out of town doing a bus trip with Mom that day so then she wanted to know about last night. Nope, already had dinner plans. She wouldn’t say what was so urgent only that she just had to talk to me because I’m the only one who will understand. We made plans for tomorrow, plans that I’ve just cancelled.

I’ve got that big presentation to give in May and there’s no time to handle it at work now. Josh is at school tomorrow night and Mom is getting home late which means prime work time for me. I know if I met her, not until 6pm of course, that I’d never get home in time to take my meds and unwind so I could sleep. All I need right now is for my sleep schedule to get fucked up.

So part of me feels bad about this, but mostly not. She was all anxious to meet yesterday and now today it’s “no worries.” You’re right, totally not worrying about this any more.

flowers!

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family, getting creative, kids, projects, random shit that falls out of my brain

It’s been rather ridiculously busy around here lately. The weekend was spent running errands, having the garage re-insulated, and doing a bit of gardening. Today I spent hanging out with my nieces. The elder niece had a day off school and my mom had to take the younger one to a concert. Enter Aunt Erin. We had a great time. E is a natural born shopper, just like her auntie. But otherwise, I don’t have much to share, and less time to share it. So here are some photos of flowers I’ve been taking lately.

small piece of the big flower bed in the backyard

Some of these are from our yard and some from my sister’s yard. I’m thinking I’ll upload at least a few to Redbubble, and possibly one of them will become a new banner for the blog.

share your world – week #15

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share your world

Bet you thought I’d forgotten again. HA! Here are my answers to Cee’s Share Your World Week #15.

Regarding your fridge, is it organized or a mess inside?

The fridges, both of them, are usually pretty organized. I tend to have most things in my life as organized as I can get them because chaos just cripples my brain. I like to know when I open the fridge to find something that it will be in approximately the same place every time, especially my big bottle of tea.

Have you ever been a participant in a parade? What did you do?

The high school I attended did a homecoming parade and I was in it all 4 years. Freshman year I was a Smurf with the French Club, sophomore year I was in the flag corps with the band, junior and senior years were back with French Club and saw me on roller skates the one and dressed as Jean Harlow for the other, complete with black patent leather pumps. The parade route was about 2 miles long.

senior year, me and one of my best friends since 3rd grade

How do you stand out from the crowd?

I stand out only part of the time, when I feel comfortable. In those times I will make jokes, laugh, be more assertive (appropriately). I’m also a problem solver. When someone tells me about a situation they need help with my brain starts churning through possible solutions. It’s not so much that I think outside the box, I just refuse to acknowledge the box even exists.

How many bones, if any, have you broken?

To the best of my knowledge, none. I suspect that I have broken a few toes, but toes aren’t something you generally seek medical attention for.

Bonus question:  What are you grateful for from last week, and what are you looking forward to in the week coming up?

Since the last time I did one of these posts I am grateful for having been able to spend time with my nieces, for getting the remainder of my homework done, and that my portfolio passed. In the coming week I am looking forward to spending Monday with my nieces.

shake your groove thang

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being productive, building a life worth living, Evie Cat, goals, life, make the most of life while you have it, mental health, moods, motivation, productivity, projects, random shit that falls out of my brain, work

It’s a damn good thing I’m done with homework now because work is really rather wearing me out. I’m being UBER productive, which is awesome, but I come home pretty well exhausted. I have been taking time every night to unwind and that’s really helping.

I am also looking for ways to boost my personal productivity. I found out today how to use the Tasks feature in Gmail to keep track of my personal to-do list in an electronic fashion that I can access via the computer or my phone. (probably the iPad, too – I should look into that) A few minutes ago I downloaded an app on my phone so that I can setup alarms and such based on the list, which should be quite handy. And I’ve been scouring Pinterest for productivity ideas as well.

Would anyone be interested in me sharing information like that? I realize that this blog is pretty fucking random anymore, but if this shit is only interesting to me then I won’t take the time to write it up. I’m sort of contemplating doing a regular feature thing where I dispense some sort of recommendations for something, be it a technique or a product or a practice.

Anyway, my brain is trying to go in a few too many directions at once right now and Evie Cat has decided that Mama’s new desk is just part of her jungle gym.

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