Tags
bipolar disorder, blog for mental health 2015, borderline personality disorder, hope, life, meds, mental health, mental illness, moods, normal, sick, sleep, stress
We haven’t done this in awhile, so I thought maybe we should revisit our little talks about mental health. I have a tendency to get wrapped up in my own little world to the point that I forget that part of what I need to do is spread the word about how “normal” those of us with mental illness really are. Mostly I forget because I’m too busy being normal I guess.
But I want y’all to know that you are not alone. Let me say this again…
Y’ALL AIN’T ALONE.
Even though I don’t often talk about my diagnoses these days that does not mean that I don’t still have issues. I do. HELL YES I do. My diseases have reached what I consider to be the equivalent of remission for someone fighting cancer. They’re still there, they still color my world, but I’m not having to seek crisis intervention on a regular basis. And that feels nice.
My name is Erin and I have Bipolar Disorder II and Borderline Personality Disorder. I’ve attempted suicide four times. I’ve been hospitalized more times than I care to recall. I’ve lost friends. I’ve lost the ability to do some of the recreational activities I used to love. I’ve had allergic reactions to meds so severe I was almost hospitalized. I’ve stared down the beast that is depression and I’ve stayed up for 6 days solid, dancing with the beast that is mania.
I have been there, done that, and got the free t-shirt to prove it.
I’ve also started and completed both a Master’s degree and a graduate certificate since being diagnosed. I’ve maintained my full-time job and advanced in my career. I’ve learned to be financially responsible. And I’ve learned that I will feel better if I can help make someone else feel better.
These days I do a whole lot of taking care of me so that I can take care of those I love. I take my meds like a good kid. I eat mostly healthy food and I stay mostly away from alcohol. I try to get good sleep every night. I see my psych doc when I’m supposed to and I make an appointment with my therapist when I feel I need to. And I try to focus on the good stuff. I spend more time with the good things I can still do and less time missing the things I used to do.
We’ll get through this together, we really will. I promise.
Merbear74 said:
I am so happy that you are in a good place right know. ❤
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Mental Mama said:
Me too! We’ll all get there, it just takes time. I’ve been wrestling with my demons a little longer than some. ❤
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lunatique77 said:
Way to go Erin! Be proud of yourself!
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Mental Mama said:
Thanks! I’m quite pleased that I finally learned the coping skills I need to get through the majority of my days, and I’m definitely proud of the woman I am today. I’m not ashamed of the sick girl that I was back then, but I’m glad I’m not her anymore.
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lunatique77 said:
You wouldn’t be you if you hadn’t been her! Jeez, I’m quite the philosopher today!
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Mental Mama said:
Exactly! Anytime someone asks me if I would go back and change things about my life if given the opportunity I always say NO. I am the “me” I am today because I was the “me” I was back then. Every lousy decision has strengthened me.
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easyweimaraner said:
I love this quote and I will make it to my personal mantra :o)
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Mental Mama said:
It’s a good one. 🙂
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easyweimaraner said:
it’s one of the best :o)
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Not Quite Alice said:
Yay. It’s always good to know that you’re not alone. I’m right there with you. Hugs to you.
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Mental Mama said:
Hugs right back at ya!
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Not Quite Alice said:
YAY!
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insearchofitall said:
You are doing a good job to put it out there for others struggling to find you and hope. Keep on keeping on.
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Mental Mama said:
I don’t know many people in real life that deal with what I have, so I try to share my stories here so that others know they aren’t entirely alone. 🙂
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heretherebespiders said:
My best friend’s mom is bipolar, and has Lupus – another double-whammy. Sneaking feeling my bestie is slightly bipolar, too – or maybe just normal sometimes and manic others? At least she channels it in healthy ways (art art art).
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Mental Mama said:
I managed to mostly keep my shit together until I was in my very late 20s, but my husband at the time would cover for a lot of my antics. Your friend may well just be a little more energetic than most. Art and creative outlets are the savior of many of us.
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heretherebespiders said:
That, and having two toddlers and about to start on number 3! Can’t imagine the energy that would take.
Glad you survived it all and are doing so well – I’d be missing someone in my life without you!
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Mental Mama said:
Kids, yikes. Cannot even imagine.
I’m glad I’m still here, too. I’d miss my pals. ❤
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The Indecisive Eejit said:
I think you deserve a high five! You’re amazing x
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Mental Mama said:
WOOT! Thanks sweetie, so are you! ❤
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