Tags
anxiety, divorce, family, life, limits, love, moods, sleep, stress, taking my life back, the world is full of fucking idiots
I slept alone in my bed for the first time in 4 years. I suppose the actual truth is that I laid in bed alone for 5 hours, sleeping a little, for the first time in 4 years. The important thing is that I did it.
Yesterday was HARD. Josh was a significant part of my life for a considerable amount of time so there’s history, and sometimes history is difficult to walk away from. But I stuck to my convictions, spoke my piece, tried my best to fight fair, and defended myself. He showed his true colors and it wasn’t near as hard to put him out as it could have been. In all honesty, I think Evie misses him more than I do.
The rather daunting task ahead of me now is to gather all of his stuff, which doesn’t amount to a whole hell of a lot, so that he can come get it. I didn’t let him have the Honda and I insisted that he not sleep here last night. He didn’t leave until after 10 because he couldn’t find anyone willing to both let him stay the night and come fetch him. Burning bridges is not a wise thing to do.
Anyway, I wanted to let y’all know that I’m alright and that it (finally) went (mostly) according to plan.
Owen "Beleaguered" Servant said:
I’m glad you’re alright.
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Mental Mama said:
Thanks. It sucks, but it was necessary.
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lunatique77 said:
In Germany we say something like “Better a horror that ends than an end with horror”. Sounds stupid in English but I guess you get it. Hugs!
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Mental Mama said:
I get the sentiment, thank you. 🙂
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Not Quite Alice said:
I love you hun, and your strength and conviction. I’m here supporting you.
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Mental Mama said:
I love you too sweetie. Knowing y’all are there for me is really helping me get through this easier. ❤
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Not Quite Alice said:
Good. I’m always here for you.
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JackieP said:
It’s hard to do even when you know it’s the right thing to do. I’m here if you need anything. Big hugs. You are strong…
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Mental Mama said:
Thank you sweetie, it means a lot for me knowing that y’all are supporting me. ❤
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JackieP said:
We want you happy. ❤
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insearchofitall said:
Oh my goodness. That will teach me to fall behind on my reading. I’m so sorry you are going through this. It’s never easy. I was the one that always packed up and left everything behind. I wouldn’t know how to handle asking a husband to leave. There is a grief process so don’t be surprised by it. I miss the dream of happily ever after with a couple of rocking chairs on the porch. But taking care of oneself is not selfish. I wish you all good things and lots of hugs.
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Mental Mama said:
Thank you for the hugs and support. Y’all are helping to lessen the pain I have right now and that means the world to me. ❤ This will be my 3rd divorce but my first time asking someone to leave. My first husband left me, my second and I had a very amicable split and both moved to new places. But it is the right thing for me and I knew in my heart it was time.
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insearchofitall said:
I know the feeling. It’s why I refer to to the current ex as the LAST husband rather than the ex husband. I don’t do marriage.
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Mental Mama said:
Last husband is right. I’m too old and set in my ways to try to train another one. 🙂
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Chris Dean said:
I’m sorry things didn’t work out for you guys as a couple, but I have no doubt that your life is now your own and you’re one hellova survivor! *giant hugs*
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Mental Mama said:
Whatever doesn’t kill me had better start fucking running. 😀 And it’s odd but for the very first time in my life I feel like I really am about to be my own person. It’s an amazing feeling. ❤
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Chris Dean said:
Then I’ll be excited for you! (Ya know, there’s always that fear of telling someone who just ended a relationship how happy you are that they’re finally getting their life back, then a week later they’re back together and the world gets awkward.) Fuck awkward…I’M HAPPY FOR YOU!!!!
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Mental Mama said:
Thanks, me too! I need to take some pics tomorrow if there’s sun. I’ve pretty well completely redecorated my space and it is chock full of flowers now. I love it.
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NotAPunkRocker said:
I’m slow to figure things out…hugs to you my friend. You know where to find me if you need me. Proud of you for standing up and doing what you need to now. ❤
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Mental Mama said:
Thanks love. ❤ Don't feel bad, I was keeping this one pretty quiet until I was utterly positive. And I will definitely hit you up so we can swap horror stories. 🙂
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The Indecisive Eejit said:
Damn being behind on reading, if I hadn’t been then I wouldn’t have had to ask you yesterday what was going on. Here for you if you need it, not that I’ll be much good, but ya know…
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Mental Mama said:
No worries, life is a little crazy for all of us. And I’d been keeping it pretty quiet until I was positive. No sense in crying wolf for no reason. 🙂
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