how many pillows do you really need?

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bipolar disorder, building a life worth living, creating myself, divorce, life, mental health, mental illness, moods, motivation, projects, random shit that falls out of my brain, sleep, taking my life back, you need 5 pillows

That’s the best shot I could find of the north end of the room as it looked while Josh was here. It was cluttered, which you can’t too much see, and it was kind of one dimensional. I have since turned that into…

this. And this is much more me. It’s very organized and more streamlined. There are flowers everywhere but they don’t make it feel too busy. The colors are a little softer and it’s all very warm and cozy. I love being in this space now. And Evie Cat seems to love it, too.

Things are still going really well. I’ve lost another 1.5lbs since Friday and that really excites me. I slept good again, about the same as the night before, so I think that’s really good. And Mom and I are getting some things done we had wanted to. Maybe not the vacation I had thought I would have but it’s certainly not turning out bad at all.

quick picture post

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building a life worth living, getting back my mojo, getting creative, goals, life, mental health, mental illness, motivation, normal, projects

That’s the black and white vest that plagued me for so long. It’s done and I wore it to work this morning. I was teaching a brand new class, my third of the summer, and wanted a little something to make me feel pretty. You can’t really see it but I also made the necklace and earrings I have on. Hopefully I’ll be back later with a slightly longer post. ❤

the best laid plans of Mama OR why Tuesday kind of sucked as bad as Monday, but maybe only on the level of sucking tadpole nuts

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adventures in cooking, bipolar disorder, crochet, getting creative, getting healthy, goals, health, husbands are like large children who still don't listen, life, limits, meds, mental health, mental illness, moods, projects, random shit that falls out of my brain, recipes, skin conditions, stress, stress management, the world is full of fucking idiots

Holy fucking flying squirrels, TIME OUT!

I will spare you some of the gory details because I’m polite like that, but dammit, what a day. Josh still doesn’t have everything taken care of for his pre-op crap and somehow that was my fault, even though I’ve been nagging him about it since we found out it needed to be done. Evidently I was supposed to completely plan out all of it to ensure that he got to class, got the supplies he needs for class (that place closes at 5pm and is on the other side of town), got all of his homework done on time, and got the pre-op stuff done (had to be at the doc’s office before 6pm) AND all of this had to be done this week.

Needless to say he’s at home today because the goddamn EKG didn’t go well and this way he not only gets a day off work but can do all of that other shit plus have time to fuck around. Apparently life is good when you’re an idiot.

I met with shrinky-poo yesterday and that, fortunately, went really well. I mentioned to her this glorious rash I developed after setting up the garden with Mom a few weeks ago and evidently, get this, I am ALLERGIC TO THE SUN. Long term lithium usage apparently makes you sensitive to natural sunlight so it’s likely that any time I’m outside for any length of time I’ll turn bright red, bumpy/blistery, and itch like mad. Ah yes, you’re jealous, I get it.

Last night after all the excitement I though to myself, “self, we should totally work on that crocheted vest. Fucking thing is damn near done. Let’s get on that right now!” And so I did. Then this happened…

that’s one of the “sleeves” and there is a 360 degree twist in it

that’s what it looks like all laid out; notice how incredibly ruffly the sleeve bits are? ick

and that is one of my man-hands laying on top of it to show how ridiculously too fucking big it is

I put it in time out and started working on the knit shrug instead while I decided the fate of this monstrosity. The yarn is phenomenal and it deserves to be turned into something truly lovely. So I really think that it’s going to be frogged (ripped out so that the yarn can be reused, for those of you who aren’t knitters/crocheters). Right now I just can’t hardly bear to look at it.

One of the other things I decided to do last night was try some new recipes involving chia seeds. (yes, I am 100% jumping on the healthy hipster food bandwagon and I apparently like torturing myself) I made a really good smoothie that I will absolutely make again, probably tonight. And then I decided to try this breakfast thing. Kind of like oatmeal but made with the seeds. The recipe looked easy, sounded tasty, so off I went.

fish eyes, yummy!

surely adding more milk will help, right?

the rest of that bottle of milk PLUS some frozen blueberries! surely this is all it really needs, right?

So now I’m sitting next to a bowl of what looks remarkably like fish eyes with rabbit turds floating in it, hoping like hell that the blueberries defrost and I can maybe eat this shit. The flavor isn’t bad, honestly, it’s the texture that’s a little strange. And I’m really thinking that I may need to put a safety belt on the toilet later.

One of these days I’ll learn.

what the hell man?

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building a life worth living, goals, health, life, limits, mental health, mental illness, moods, motivation, projects, random shit that falls out of my brain, recipes, school, stress, stress management

So evidently I went and blew off my own damn drawing challenge. And no one noticed. Or gave a fuck. Hard to tell.

I’m also not making the progress that I had hoped on my 28 day challenge. I’ve made some progress, just not the kind I know I’m actually capable of. Additionally I have apparently blown off most, if not all, of my weekly goals.

In summation, I suck.

However, in my defense, Josh started back to school this week and is in class 3 nights. Like out of the house from 5pm until 10:30pm. It’s sort of glorious but it’ll take some getting used to again. Last night I drove home planning to get all kinds of shit done and when I got there the only thing that really happened was an amazing impersonation of a slug.

I’ve been trying to be a good kid, really I have. And I’ll keep trying. I get that the only person imposing any sort of strict anything on me is, well, me. And, while I haven’t necessarily completed the things I had originally set out to do, I have done some other really interesting things. Like I tried using coconut oil as an overnight conditioner on my hair. (it’s awesome) I used it to cook some shrimp to accompany an Asian coleslaw. (the oil and a little soy sauce made delicious shrimp) And I made fudge with coconut oil. (totally not sharing it, get your own, bitches)

I’ve been taking better care of my skin, and I walked 4 of the 5 days so far, and I’ve eaten mostly reasonable most of the time.

So really, not too fucking shabby.

On an only slightly unrelated note, if anyone is interested in any of the recipes I’ve mentioned or in the recipe I use for my special salt scrub to deal with rough heels, just holler.

gearing up for…?

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28 day challenge, crocheting, cross stitch, finishing stuff, getting back my mojo, goals, knitting, motivation, projects, pushing myself, sewing, stress management

Ok, let’s get a few little updates/reminders taken care of…

Next Friday is the second Summer Drawing Challenge. The prompt this time is flower. If you want to join the fun try to have your drawing ready by then.

My getting healthy personal project is coming along nicely. In spite of eating out twice this last week and having a bit of candy I still managed to lose 1lb. I’m quite pleased by this. I have been on the treadmill twice so far, once for 20 minutes and once for 30 minutes. I need to get a new pair of walking shoes before I get back on as the ones I have are hurting my feet. That’s on the schedule for either later today or tomorrow morning. The Fitbit is helping with this immensely.

Anyone who is interested in doing a 28 Day Challenge, don’t forget that we’ll start on Monday, June 1. I would encourage you to be finalizing your project selection and to start making your list of the 28 one-hour tasks you’ll need to complete to get your project done.

I am not going to be quite that structured with mine this time, but I have a reason. These are my four started projects that I’m going to try to finish and my general plans to do that.

crocheted vest

What you see is the pictures I found of this lovely little vest, but I couldn’t find a pattern, at least not in English. So I’m winging it. The yarn was a gift from my knitting pals when I first went into the hospital back in 2006. I’ve already made a knit sweater out of it, but I wanted something I could wear any time of year.

I’ve started the back and I’m maybe 1/3 of the way done with that. I need to finish the back section and then figure out how the sleeves/collar are constructed. I honestly think if I just sit down and do this it shouldn’t take even the whole week I’ve allotted for it.

knit shrug

I started this shrug much earlier this year. The way I do these is to start in the middle of the back using a provisional cast on and then work down the sleeves. I tend to make the sleeves as long as I have yarn for, but I might not do that this time. Part of the issue I’m having with this is that I decided I wanted to add some shaping to the sleeves, which is great, but it’s been so long since I picked it up and I didn’t bother to write down what I was doing, so now I’ve completely forgotten.

This is probably damn near 1/2 done and would probably only take 4 or 5 days of concentrated effort.

black and white vest – sewing project

I realize that you really can’t tell anything about this project just from the pic, but you should be able to see how beautiful the pattern is on the fabric itself. This was inspired by a gorgeous vest I got when Mom and I went to Pella. Very flowing, soft fabric, incredibly flattering. I decided to look closer and see if I could reconstruct it. Turned out it’s just a rectangle of fabric with the raw edges covered in satin bias tape and then two arm slits cut in the middle, also finished with bias tape. So that’s what I’m doing. I have the tape pinned on 3/4 of the way around the outer edge already. I need to finish that pinning, sew it, and then do the arms. In all honesty this should be the fastest project of all of them, maybe 2 days.

dragon cross stitch

This one will be my problem child.

I honestly can’t remember when I started this, though it’s entirely possible that it was pre-Dx, so 2006? Maybe? I went through a phase where all I did was cross stitch and blackwork projects. I was smart enough to keep everything together so, as long as my hands cooperate, there’s no reason I shouldn’t be able to finish. My biggest concern with this is that I have no fucking clue how long he’ll take. Because of that I’m really thinking he’ll be last.

So here’s the order I’m planning to attack these in:

1. black and white vest
2. knit shrug
3. crocheted vest
4. dragon cross stitch

And I might actually see if I can’t get the b/w vest cranked out this weekend since that was on my list of goals for this week anyway. I’d still do the other three projects for my challenge and I’m still quite certain that it’ll be challenging.

Anyone else out there with me?

super / suck

Tags

bipolar disorder, getting creative, mental health, mental illness, motivation, projects, random shit that falls out of my brain, school, stress, work

Last night was good. I got home, took care of my usual “prep for the next day” garbage, started cleaning up some of my boards on Pinterest, and printed some ideas for projects I wanted to make. I did that because I figured I could still be working on things past my self-imposed “no computer” curfew. I’m smart every now and then.

That is a pair of earrings I made. Not exactly what I was going for, but they worked. I also got the outline for an interesting new drawing done and I finished another knit washcloth I had started over the week. Much progress, me likey.

This morning I got to work and started in on my normal ass-kicking routine. Things were going fine until one of the large muscles in my back decided to spasm. I do travel with extra drugs including some muscle relaxers. I took one, asked one of my pals for some Biofreeze, and then channeled my inner sloth. Damn near nothing was done the remainder of the day.

So now the drugs have worn off and it’s time to get back to doing stuff. I made myself a new banner with one of the tulip pics from the trip, I’ve done the “prep for tomorrow” stuff, and I’m getting ready to start working on some sort of project. I think.

Anyway, shit is pretty random around here right now. There’s still a ton to get done at work but I refuse to bring it home with me. I’ve earned the right to my evenings off and by christ I’m going to take them.

flowers!

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family, getting creative, kids, projects, random shit that falls out of my brain

It’s been rather ridiculously busy around here lately. The weekend was spent running errands, having the garage re-insulated, and doing a bit of gardening. Today I spent hanging out with my nieces. The elder niece had a day off school and my mom had to take the younger one to a concert. Enter Aunt Erin. We had a great time. E is a natural born shopper, just like her auntie. But otherwise, I don’t have much to share, and less time to share it. So here are some photos of flowers I’ve been taking lately.

small piece of the big flower bed in the backyard

Some of these are from our yard and some from my sister’s yard. I’m thinking I’ll upload at least a few to Redbubble, and possibly one of them will become a new banner for the blog.

shake your groove thang

Tags

being productive, building a life worth living, Evie Cat, goals, life, make the most of life while you have it, mental health, moods, motivation, productivity, projects, random shit that falls out of my brain, work

It’s a damn good thing I’m done with homework now because work is really rather wearing me out. I’m being UBER productive, which is awesome, but I come home pretty well exhausted. I have been taking time every night to unwind and that’s really helping.

I am also looking for ways to boost my personal productivity. I found out today how to use the Tasks feature in Gmail to keep track of my personal to-do list in an electronic fashion that I can access via the computer or my phone. (probably the iPad, too – I should look into that) A few minutes ago I downloaded an app on my phone so that I can setup alarms and such based on the list, which should be quite handy. And I’ve been scouring Pinterest for productivity ideas as well.

Would anyone be interested in me sharing information like that? I realize that this blog is pretty fucking random anymore, but if this shit is only interesting to me then I won’t take the time to write it up. I’m sort of contemplating doing a regular feature thing where I dispense some sort of recommendations for something, be it a technique or a product or a practice.

Anyway, my brain is trying to go in a few too many directions at once right now and Evie Cat has decided that Mama’s new desk is just part of her jungle gym.

I got nothin’

Tags

getting creative, goals, life, motivation, projects, school, work

By way of a very small update, I did it. I’ve satisfied all of the requirements for my certificate. Yesterday I got word from my adviser that my portfolio exceeded her expectations and I passed that requirement with “flying colors.” Today I finished my last assignment for class and handed in a whole stack of shit. I told the prof that I was giving her everything I had left for the rest of the semester, she said no you don’t because I haven’t given the last assignment. But she had. It was in this big ass manual thing we had to purchase at the start of the semester. So not only did I know about it but I knew what was required to complete it. And I did.

Now I can concentrate on relaxing in the evenings. Ceiling cat knows I’ll need it. Work is picking up again and I still have to finish my shit for the symposium which is on May 14. Wow, that is exactly a month from today.

Anyway, I’m finding ways to be more productive at work and that’s helping immensely. My boss made mention today about how much I’m getting done and how much she appreciates it, which was super nice to hear. Yes, I will indeed work for compliments.

I’m going to shut off a little earlier than usual tonight so that I can hopefully get a drawing started. YAY!

digging my way out

Tags

getting creative, goals, life, motivation, projects, random shit that falls out of my brain, school, work

Almost done, almost done, almost done…

You’ll be happy to know that my portfolio is just fine. (more likely you don’t give a rat’s ass, but play along) There was a minor technical glitch that the always lovely Wendy sorted out for me. Love her. Now I just need a little time to finish making the last of the edits so I can send it off to my adviser. YAY!

I’m not entirely sure why but I have well and truly been kicking ass and taking names at work lately. We use Microsoft Outlook as our email client and our team has recently started using the Tasks feature to keep track of the mountains of shit we’re trying to get done. It’s really an electronic to-do list that’s easy to edit, can be assigned to a group of people at once, AND can be shown in with your calendar so you can see when shit is due. It so appeals to my need for order in the universe. So anyway, not sure if it’s because of that or what but I’ve been getting Mass Quantities of shit done.

I can’t remember if I had mentioned to y’all about feeling all claustrophobic down here again or not, but I was. Too much shit, not enough room to work, things like that. I went to my good buddy Pinterest and started looking for ideas.  I was inspired by this one…

But I knew my setup didn’t need to be quite that polished. I wanted to do this cheap because I wanted the top to be something I wouldn’t care about potentially destroying with an epic craft project. More space, to work on top and for storage below, were really my prime concerns.

One of the coolest things about working for the university is access to Surplus. Any time a department gets rid of old furniture or office equipment type stuff they call the guy who runs Surplus and he goes and gets it and stashes it. Other departments can check out what’s available and grab it to use in their offices OR individuals can purchase pieces for personal use. The prices are ridiculously reasonable and really don’t even compare to going to a thrift store. Dirt Cheap.

The guy who runs it is super nice and if you let him know that you’re looking for something in particular he’ll keep an eye out and let you know when he finds it. Earlier this week I put a bug in his hear to be on the look-out for a new desk chair for Josh and 2 little file cabinets for me. I wasn’t really ready for any of that to arrive but you never know when someone is going to get rid of something good so I figured it was best to hedge my bets.

Yesterday when I arrived at work there was an extra chair waiting in my office, the one for Josh.

When I went to pay for it I told him what I was going to be doing with the file cabinets. He took me to one of the back rooms and showed me a table top they had that would be perfect. Sold. He said he was pretty sure he had a couple of file cabinets at the warehouse and that if he could get in touch with one of the guys there he could have them on campus later in the day. Perfect.

It all went way faster than I thought it would, and that necessitated tearing a good chunk of the basement apart, but the timing wasn’t terrible, it only took about 3 hours total, and the price… Well, the price was beyond right. This is the finished desk…

I kept the hutch off my old desk to add even more storage. And because the top is so deep there’s room underneath to store a few things without getting in the way of my feet. Anyone care to guess how much I spent on all of that? The chair, table top, and two file cabinets? Anyone? Bueller?

EIGHT MOTHERFUCKING DOLLARS

Now today I really need to haul ass and get some stuff done. There are errands to run, chores to do, homework to finish, and Josh’s birthday/our anniversary to possibly celebrate. A mama’s work is never done.