when life hands you lemons…

Tags

bipolar disorder, blog for mental health 2015, borderline personality disorder, DBT, depression, mental health, mental illness, rebuilding my life, suicide

…freeze those fuckers and throw them at people you don’t like. Because seriously, who likes lemonade? But I digress, today is Thursday and on Thursdays we talk about mental health.

***TRIGGER WARNING***

I’m going to discuss suicide in this post. If that will bother you, stop reading now.

Something really cool happened yesterday. It’s probably only cool to me, but hey, my blog. This story actually starts back in 2010. Let’s hop in Mama’s time machine…

In February of 2010 I had a terrible breakup with a guy. That was pretty typical for me. I still hadn’t completed DBT and I wasn’t really taking care of myself. True to form I fell hard and scared him off. When he broke up with me I emptied the contents of the medicine cabinet into my stomach. That was my 4th serious attempt within two years. By the time I was found I was completely unconscious. The paramedics rushed me to the hospital, they pumped my stomach, and I spent time in the ICU.

Life was not good at that point, to say the very least.

I worked hard to get my life back together. I continued going to my therapy sessions, 3 times a week at the start, my mom locked my meds up and I only got one week worth at a time, and I learned how to think all over again. My psychiatrist wasn’t sure if I’d finally managed to cause myself permanent brain damage. (I hadn’t.)

Slowly but surely things came back together. I finished my Master’s degree and started doing better at work. My relationships improved. I learned how to not give up on myself anymore.

Back to the present…

A month or so ago my boss told me that our prescription insurance will do mail order three month med refills on generics for NOTHING. I take three prescriptions, all psych meds, and all generic. But I was concerned that my doc wouldn’t go for it because of my history.

The box came yesterday.