highlights since last I babbled at y’all

Tags

anxiety, divorce, friends, goals, life, limits, love, mental illness, stress, work

I did NOT get selected for a jury, thank DOG. The case involved alleged sexual assault of a young girl by her father. As soon as I heard that I had a very hard time not jumping up and ripping that guy to pieces with my bare hands. Apparently his lawyer sensed my hostility and everyone agreed that I was not an appropriate juror for that particular case.

But while I was at the court house I was able to file the papers for the divorce, at least most of them, and give the nice clerk my $157. I had neglected to have Josh sign something that said he’d been given copies of everything so I had to get him to come over this afternoon when he got done at work.

He’s still wearing his wedding ring.

In all other respects he’s still being the same shitstain I kicked out on July 2nd. So much so in fact that not even the paper towel sweatband he was wearing (because he hasn’t taken all of his shit with him which would include several way more appropriate, and comfortable, garments) made me feel bad for him. He looks bad. Really bad.

I, however, look fabulous according to all of my pals at work. I should, right? I mean, I’ve lost 250lbs since the last time they saw me. They all commented on how they’ve never seen me look this light and happy before, and the one gal has known me more than 14 years. So that was good. And I got to spend a little time redecorating a bit and rearranging some stuff.

Perhaps now life will start to settle. I’ll put the form in the mail tomorrow morning and once the court receives it my 60 day countdown clock starts. After the 60 days are up I call the clerk and find out when my court date is. On that day I’ll go back to the courthouse at my designated time with the rest of my paperwork, be sworn in, sit on the stand, answer the judge’s questions (which are just a rehash of what’s on the paperwork), and then it’ll be done. So hopefully sometime towards the end of September this will all be behind me.

On a much lighter note, I’ve been working on the shrug, I walked yesterday and today, and I’m in much better shape with the class I have scheduled for next Wednesday than I thought I’d be. Yay.

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it’s raining turds OR why my Monday sucked octopus nuts

Tags

computers fucking suck, i am having a totally shit day, listen to me whine, not having access to chocolate is criminal, pity me for i am pathetic, work

I could probably just let the title speak for itself, but y’all know me. It’s story time with Mama.

I could barely drag my ass out of bed this morning. I didn’t sleep well last night because Josh didn’t sleep well. I got upstairs and chatted with Mom for longer than I should have and ran out of time for a full walk. So instead I decided to do just 10 minutes but much faster and with more incline. That was, in hindsight, the beginning of the end for me.

I got to work and got started only to find out shortly after 9am that I had traded with my vacationing co-worker for a shift today, not Wednesday. I packed up all my shit and schlepped my ass over to the other building. I needed to work on some Mac stuff anyway so I figured no big deal. Except the Mac needed an update installed and I didn’t have the admin password. I got one of the tech guys to come over finally and he helped. We also got the Mac laptops updating. But I never did figure out what I needed. And then I booted everything into the Windows side and had no end of problems with those updates. Couldn’t get anyone to come back for that so I just stuck the fucking things back in a cabinet and left notes.

Since I was in the other office I only had minimal nutritional supplies with me, as in, I had my salad and the stuff for it, some jello (best fucking jello ever), grapes, and a chocolate protein shake. No real chocolate though. A day like today with no real chocolate. Just let that sink in for a minute.

Last night instead of work on anything even remotely related to my 28 day challenge I decided to fuck with some jewelry. I made myself a new necklace that I thought was kind of nifty so I wore it today. The chain broke this afternoon. But wait, it gets better.

I’ve been summoned for jury duty.

turbo update

Tags

anxiety, life, limits, moods, stress, work

It’s already past lights-out time and I’m well beyond tired, but I wanted to give you a tiny update.

• It rained the entire 50 mile drive there.
• I found it just fine thanks to Mapquest.
• Breakfast sucked.
• The keynote speaker was cute and charismatic.
• I hung out with one of my colleagues during the first official session, mostly trying not to throw up on my shoes.
• The woman presenting in the room before me ran late.
• She also spilled water on the table where I needed to setup my laptop to connect to the projector.
• I thought she had fried my laptop because the screen kept going nuts.
• I gave up on having slides on the screen and just started tap dancing.
• My moderator got me a tech guy to help while I kept talking.
• He ended up bringing in two other laptops and another projector before finally getting my slides up successfully.
• Apparently the slow lady had spilled her water into the cable.
• I lost about 10 minutes to that.
• Rocked the motherfucking room anyway.
• Lunch also sucked.
• Spent most of the rest of the time I was there chilling with colleagues.
• Afternoon cheesecake was delightful.
• Gave a ride home to someone I didn’t know all that well but knew I found enjoyable and some great conversation. I believe I have a new pal.
• Totally loving the Fitbit. I might be obsessing just a little over how many steps I’m getting in.
• Tomorrow is weigh-in day.

me, this morning, trying not to freak (and not succeeding) (and no, that is NOT a scarf!)

it really should be “CDO” cuz that’s alphabetical, yo

Tags

anxiety, bipolar disorder, getting healthy, goals, health, life, limits, motivation, random shit that falls out of my brain, stress, the world is full of fucking idiots, work

Much as I feared, I’m having one of those weeks. Yes, I know it’s only Tuesday. It can only get worse, right?

I found out this morning that there are NINETY-TWO people signed up for my presentation on Thursday. That was enough to totally shake me until Rhio mentioned that she’s got 300 for hers. She wins, hands down. And I know she’ll do fine, she’s awesome like that. But me? I’m me, and me is not always so awesome. Take tin foil, for example. Where shall we take the tin foil? Anywhere, just away from me. Fucking shit hates me.

I got my new Fitbit thingy yesterday, which is good I guess. I’m still getting used to wearing it. I haven’t worn any type of bracelet in ages. And since you’re supposed to sleep with it on if you want to track your sleep, which is half the reason I bought the damn thing, I’m trying to get used to that. But so far it seems to work and it is motivating me to walk more. Odd that, but I’ll take it.

The healthier eating stuff is going fairly well. Lots more salads, lots of fresh fruit, I’ve been drinking water instead of tea all the time, and a lot more protein.

I’ve been stocking up when raspberries and other delicate bits are on sale and freezing it myself as it’s SO much cheaper.

I’ve been trying to find healthier things for all the meals and stuff I eat at work. I did master the art of smoothie making with the Nutri Ninja we have there (big reason for 5 containers of frozen raspberries) and how best to pack a salad that will not only fill me up but also still taste worth eating by the time I get to it. (having a fridge in my office helps a TON!) And tonight I made one of my all-time favorite Pinterest recipe finds…

3 ingredient energy bites!

Yeah, I know, they look like cat shit. You’ll just have to take my word for how yummy they are, that or make a batch for yourself. They are super easy. In a food processor you combine 1C of nuts (I use almonds), 1C of dried fruit (I use cherries), and 1C of pitted dates. Process until it forms a sticky sort of dough. The original instructions called for flattening it and then cutting it into bars but I’m partial to these little balls, you go ahead and make yours however you want. They don’t require refrigeration, but they are tasty cold.

Energy is something I’m lacking right now, though Mom tells me that’s entirely typical when making these sorts of eating changes. My body doesn’t have all that extra fat and sugar to play with so I’m a little more tired than I used to be. She’s reassured me that this will get better.

Anyway, that’s mostly been me lately. Tonight I’m debating finishing my illuminated letter or working on a new construction kit.

why I’m not allowed to go to Barnes & Noble (this wasn’t even all of it)

super / suck

Tags

bipolar disorder, getting creative, mental health, mental illness, motivation, projects, random shit that falls out of my brain, school, stress, work

Last night was good. I got home, took care of my usual “prep for the next day” garbage, started cleaning up some of my boards on Pinterest, and printed some ideas for projects I wanted to make. I did that because I figured I could still be working on things past my self-imposed “no computer” curfew. I’m smart every now and then.

That is a pair of earrings I made. Not exactly what I was going for, but they worked. I also got the outline for an interesting new drawing done and I finished another knit washcloth I had started over the week. Much progress, me likey.

This morning I got to work and started in on my normal ass-kicking routine. Things were going fine until one of the large muscles in my back decided to spasm. I do travel with extra drugs including some muscle relaxers. I took one, asked one of my pals for some Biofreeze, and then channeled my inner sloth. Damn near nothing was done the remainder of the day.

So now the drugs have worn off and it’s time to get back to doing stuff. I made myself a new banner with one of the tulip pics from the trip, I’ve done the “prep for tomorrow” stuff, and I’m getting ready to start working on some sort of project. I think.

Anyway, shit is pretty random around here right now. There’s still a ton to get done at work but I refuse to bring it home with me. I’ve earned the right to my evenings off and by christ I’m going to take them.

shake your groove thang

Tags

being productive, building a life worth living, Evie Cat, goals, life, make the most of life while you have it, mental health, moods, motivation, productivity, projects, random shit that falls out of my brain, work

It’s a damn good thing I’m done with homework now because work is really rather wearing me out. I’m being UBER productive, which is awesome, but I come home pretty well exhausted. I have been taking time every night to unwind and that’s really helping.

I am also looking for ways to boost my personal productivity. I found out today how to use the Tasks feature in Gmail to keep track of my personal to-do list in an electronic fashion that I can access via the computer or my phone. (probably the iPad, too – I should look into that) A few minutes ago I downloaded an app on my phone so that I can setup alarms and such based on the list, which should be quite handy. And I’ve been scouring Pinterest for productivity ideas as well.

Would anyone be interested in me sharing information like that? I realize that this blog is pretty fucking random anymore, but if this shit is only interesting to me then I won’t take the time to write it up. I’m sort of contemplating doing a regular feature thing where I dispense some sort of recommendations for something, be it a technique or a product or a practice.

Anyway, my brain is trying to go in a few too many directions at once right now and Evie Cat has decided that Mama’s new desk is just part of her jungle gym.

I got nothin’

Tags

getting creative, goals, life, motivation, projects, school, work

By way of a very small update, I did it. I’ve satisfied all of the requirements for my certificate. Yesterday I got word from my adviser that my portfolio exceeded her expectations and I passed that requirement with “flying colors.” Today I finished my last assignment for class and handed in a whole stack of shit. I told the prof that I was giving her everything I had left for the rest of the semester, she said no you don’t because I haven’t given the last assignment. But she had. It was in this big ass manual thing we had to purchase at the start of the semester. So not only did I know about it but I knew what was required to complete it. And I did.

Now I can concentrate on relaxing in the evenings. Ceiling cat knows I’ll need it. Work is picking up again and I still have to finish my shit for the symposium which is on May 14. Wow, that is exactly a month from today.

Anyway, I’m finding ways to be more productive at work and that’s helping immensely. My boss made mention today about how much I’m getting done and how much she appreciates it, which was super nice to hear. Yes, I will indeed work for compliments.

I’m going to shut off a little earlier than usual tonight so that I can hopefully get a drawing started. YAY!

digging my way out

Tags

getting creative, goals, life, motivation, projects, random shit that falls out of my brain, school, work

Almost done, almost done, almost done…

You’ll be happy to know that my portfolio is just fine. (more likely you don’t give a rat’s ass, but play along) There was a minor technical glitch that the always lovely Wendy sorted out for me. Love her. Now I just need a little time to finish making the last of the edits so I can send it off to my adviser. YAY!

I’m not entirely sure why but I have well and truly been kicking ass and taking names at work lately. We use Microsoft Outlook as our email client and our team has recently started using the Tasks feature to keep track of the mountains of shit we’re trying to get done. It’s really an electronic to-do list that’s easy to edit, can be assigned to a group of people at once, AND can be shown in with your calendar so you can see when shit is due. It so appeals to my need for order in the universe. So anyway, not sure if it’s because of that or what but I’ve been getting Mass Quantities of shit done.

I can’t remember if I had mentioned to y’all about feeling all claustrophobic down here again or not, but I was. Too much shit, not enough room to work, things like that. I went to my good buddy Pinterest and started looking for ideas.  I was inspired by this one…

But I knew my setup didn’t need to be quite that polished. I wanted to do this cheap because I wanted the top to be something I wouldn’t care about potentially destroying with an epic craft project. More space, to work on top and for storage below, were really my prime concerns.

One of the coolest things about working for the university is access to Surplus. Any time a department gets rid of old furniture or office equipment type stuff they call the guy who runs Surplus and he goes and gets it and stashes it. Other departments can check out what’s available and grab it to use in their offices OR individuals can purchase pieces for personal use. The prices are ridiculously reasonable and really don’t even compare to going to a thrift store. Dirt Cheap.

The guy who runs it is super nice and if you let him know that you’re looking for something in particular he’ll keep an eye out and let you know when he finds it. Earlier this week I put a bug in his hear to be on the look-out for a new desk chair for Josh and 2 little file cabinets for me. I wasn’t really ready for any of that to arrive but you never know when someone is going to get rid of something good so I figured it was best to hedge my bets.

Yesterday when I arrived at work there was an extra chair waiting in my office, the one for Josh.

When I went to pay for it I told him what I was going to be doing with the file cabinets. He took me to one of the back rooms and showed me a table top they had that would be perfect. Sold. He said he was pretty sure he had a couple of file cabinets at the warehouse and that if he could get in touch with one of the guys there he could have them on campus later in the day. Perfect.

It all went way faster than I thought it would, and that necessitated tearing a good chunk of the basement apart, but the timing wasn’t terrible, it only took about 3 hours total, and the price… Well, the price was beyond right. This is the finished desk…

I kept the hutch off my old desk to add even more storage. And because the top is so deep there’s room underneath to store a few things without getting in the way of my feet. Anyone care to guess how much I spent on all of that? The chair, table top, and two file cabinets? Anyone? Bueller?

EIGHT MOTHERFUCKING DOLLARS

Now today I really need to haul ass and get some stuff done. There are errands to run, chores to do, homework to finish, and Josh’s birthday/our anniversary to possibly celebrate. A mama’s work is never done.

teeny tiny

Tags

anxiety, school, stress, work

I got a fuck-ton of stuff done at work today. Like LOADS. And I finished my manual. Total score. However, now it appears that I have blown my portfolio to kingdom come. Can.Not.Win.

let’s never ever do that again

Tags

bipolar disorder, family, kids, knitting, life, limits, mental health, mental illness, school, stress, work

Holy fucking hell, are we done yet? Hey Universe, answer me already, are we done yet? You know, DONE????

Back to the beginning I guess…

On Friday at work I had non-stop stuff. If I remember right I got one pee break. ONE. I got home and thought I’d get some time to start doing house stuff before the weekend really started and the kid got here. Yeah, then the basement flooded. Again. Fortunately it wasn’t as bad this time, but still, not what I had anticipated. So we went out to the hardware store and got a set of shelves to put my craft bins on so that they won’t get soaked again if this happens again. We also hit the craft store for Easter bits for the kid and then the grocery store for some last minute (or so I thought) supplies.

Yesterday morning we got up and Mom called the plumber to come clear out the pipes. In order for that to happen I had to pretty well demolish the closet. Fortunately he was here by about 9 and it didn’t take that long. Josh and I got the mess cleaned up while Mom went and got my grandma. We also got the shelves put up, my jewelry armoire moved, and shit moved around in general. It actually looks pretty good AND now all of my craft supplies are next to the fridge where I’ll see them more often.

Anyway, we finished everything up and flew out to my sister’s house to dye eggs with the girls. We came home, stopped at the nursery so I could get another violet, hit another grocery store for the truly last minute bits, had dinner, and pretty well crashed.

Today was pleasant, though a bit loud. We went to Josh’s dad’s house since we had the kid and there is always way more noise there than I’m used to. But I did take a washcloth with to work on and actually got about halfway done, so that was good. I’ve been helping Josh try to get some of his homework done while working on my portfolio. If I’m not mistaken I smell Totino’s frozen pizza in the oven. Nothing like a gourmet dinner after a long weekend.

I’m going to try to post a little more often, but no promises. And I seriously need to catch up on reading. If I can just get through the next 4 weeks I’ll be golden.