God, I don’t even know where to begin. My brain is such a jumbled mass of shit right now I can’t even hardly sort it out.
Josh insisted – starting on Thursday – that he’d get all of his homework, for both classes, done by the end of Saturday so that we’d have all day Sunday together to relax and hangout. I asked him just how much that was going to involve and then promptly told him he was fucking nuts.
Friday was an unmitigated disaster here. The phone call at 9 was terrible – the woman wanted to make interactive learning tools entirely non-interactive. And then she was pissed when I told her I couldn’t make it do in a single step something that it’s not built to do. It pretty well went downhill from there.
After my 2pm was done (after only 10 minutes, yippee!) K and I started checking the computers in the lab to make sure they were ready for my class this morning, and of course they weren’t. The tech guys have been working on this shit since May. I called my boss and she got super pissed. Within 10 minutes there were 6 guys there working on it. K and I left for the day.
Friday evening I checked my email to see if the database problem had been fixed – no, of course not. Josh got a few things done around the house for me and spent a whopping 15 minutes doing homework. Because of all the equipment issues at work they had to work Saturday. I got up when he left and started in on fixing my classes. I spent 6 hours doing that shit. He walked in at 11 – he was supposed to work until 2. He decided he was going to do homework. And then the cable guy showed up. There went the rest of the day.
I finally sent Josh to the store – with a list this time – in the afternoon. We had dinner, he had some booze, and again – no homework was done. He got up at like 10 on Sunday and we had breakfast. We got started on his homework again and got to the point where he realized there is no way in hell that he can possibly pass the one class – he’s failed too many assignments and just neglected to turn in too many others. So I told him to concentrate on the other class. Except he didn’t really know what he was supposed to do.
HOLY FUCKING SHIT ARE YOU KIDDING ME???
He was still working on it when I went to bed at 8:30. I’m so mad at him right now that it’s just ridiculous. He’s 40 fucking years old and claims that he wants to be in school. Yeah, right.
So work… I got here this morning and T did not send out an email about covering his shifts this week. K is out sick with strep. I sent my boss a text and asked her to call so that I could find out what to do about covering the remote office and my class. But of course she didn’t call until right before my class started. I had already done what she wanted me to do. But then she dropped on me that she wanted me to work on some documentation this week for the upgrade. Right, isn’t that what you moved B over to our team for?
So when I got done with the class and ate some lunch I picked the documentation out of the website where I found it and dumped it into a Word document. There is absolutely no sense in me trying to format it or make it look like anything – the two of them will just totally rip it apart anyway. I’ve got better things to do with my time.
Then I thought I’d follow up on some pending messages in my inbox. I had tried to get help last week for someone who is having website trouble. I sent one more – polite- follow up to the guy who allegedly could help. When his response came, I couldn’t open it because it had some weird encryption on it and I was using the web client. I had to log on to the virtual desktop, open the full client, and then open his snotty messages. So worth the effort. I won’t make the mistake of ever asking that douchebag to do his job again.
I had a meeting scheduled with someone else to do website stuff today at 12:30. When I made the appointment on Friday I thought I’d be in my other office, but she asked me to email her something. When I sent the email, and realized my mistake, I made sure to tell her where I’d really be. It’s now almost 2:30 and I haven’t seen or heard from her. I have since stepped out for a smoke, but I forwarded the office phone to my cell and it hasn’t rang. I love it when the faculty think their time is so much more important than ours.
So I guess it’s no real big surprise that I’ve been angry a lot lately. Rage filled, psychotic, blinding, tingly in the wrong places, ANGRY. Things at work are just utterly ridiculous right now. My boss keeps claiming that she’s giving T enough rope to hang himself and while I get that, she doesn’t seem to get that K and I are the ones suffering for it. There’s one set of rules in place for him, and another for us. B seems to be in that category as well, though she’s an entirely different bird. But she cops quite the attitude lately and seems to be not the least bit interested in being part of the team. I’m sure you all know how hard it is to try to rely on other people as a part of getting your own duties done when those other people are as reliable as the weather.
The interesting thing is that I don’t really find myself getting angry at Josh very often. I’ve come to the place where it really just isn’t worth it anymore. He’s going to continue to do the things he knows irritate the hell out of me, and I’m just going to keep doing my best to wean myself off of being with him until I realize I don’t need him around at all. We rarely have sex anymore, so that’s not really part of the equation these days. And he’s really never been much of a companion. Truth be told, I’ve hung on to him because I’m afraid of being alone, but I’m almost always alone when it comes to him anymore anyway.
Mental in the Midwest 