prompted post

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nano poblano, prompted post, random shit that falls out of my brain, team pepper

If you didn’t know how old you are, how old would you be?

This is actually easy for me.

I got divorced from Michael on my 21st birthday and I just kind of stopped aging in a lot of ways, at least for awhile. I started partying and acting like an idiot, going out with any douche who was the least bit nice to me. My bipolar came on full force and I was a whirling dervish for the next 8 years.

But even though I’ve gotten into recovery and matured a ton since then, I still feel inside like I’m only 21. I’ve certainly never felt like I was “old enough” to have kids or own a home. For fuck sake, I’m still just a kid myself! Right?

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thank you

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family, love, nano poblano, prompted post, support, team pepper

Write a thank you note to someone or something you might normally take for granted.

I try very hard not to take anyone in my life for granted, but I do feel like I owe one person more than I do anyone else.

That is the world’s cutest tiny mommy and she’s saved my life more times than I care to count. She’s never given up on me and, as best I can tell, has never lost faith in me. She pushes me to do more than I think I’m capable of and cheers me on the entire time. She tells me that she loves me damn near every time we get off the phone.

She’s well and truly the very best mom I could have hoped for, and I love her with all my heart.

Mama the Neatnick

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I'm not messy, nano poblano, organization, prompted post, random shit that falls out of my brain, team pepper

This came from another prompt which asked, “are you messy? or are you neat?”

Oh for fuck sake, are you kidding me???

Let me provide some examples for you, in case I haven’t yet proven how anal-fucking-retentive I am about my organization.

• At work yesterday I took all of the k-cups off the little spinner thing and then grouped them according to type of coffee or tea.
• I also emptied the combined boxes of pods and sorted them before putting them into big plastic zipper bags, one flavor per bag.
• When I got home I cleaned out my desk drawer.
• My closet is color coordinated.
• My sock drawer is segregated by type of sock. Holiday socks are also separated.
• My underwear drawer is also neat, the bras separate from the panties separate from the other under bits. Everything is folded.
• It drives me batty if the bed doesn’t get made every day.
• I put my backpack and purse in the exact same place every day. Every. Day.
• Most of the ridiculous little pictures I use here I’ve found on Facebook or they come from Josh. I keep them in my Dropbox account in very neatly organized folders, sorted by category and then more granular by sub-category.
• If my work area feels too chaotic I cannot get any work done until I’ve done something to mitigate the chaos. Physical chaos amounts to mental chaos for me.
• In the same vein, if my brain feels too chaotic I will look for something physical to organize as a way to calm myself.

It’s probably a sickness.

don’t you wanna be like Mama?

Tags

nano poblano, prompted post, random shit that falls out of my brain, team pepper

Share one of your good or bad habits and persuade readers to make it part of their life.

That was the original prompt, but I don’t know that I’d want to persuade anyone to take on any of my bad habits. Maybe a few of the good ones, but not the bad ones. So I thought maybe I’d just give y’all a list of things I consider to be my good and bad habits and let you decide.

Bad Habits

• I still smoke. Not a lot, less than half a pack a day right now, but still.
• I swear way too much.
• I don’t eat right.
• I don’t drink any water if I can avoid it.
• I don’t exercise enough.

Good Habits

• I am incredibly organized.
• I prefer to get my work done first and then go do fun stuff.
• I’ve gotten fairly good at being able to save money that I used to spend on garbage, like junk food out of the vending machines.
• I try to plan our weekly meals around what the grocery stores have on sale, what I have coupons for, and what’s already in the fridge/freezer. Mom and I make a menu every week to make this happen.
• I hate leaving things unfinished.
• I understand the importance of taking care of myself first so that I can take care of others.

What are some of your good and bad habits?

5 ways to win Mama’s heart

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nano poblano, prompted post, random shit that falls out of my brain, team pepper

1. swear, a lot, but appropriately
2. be kind to animals, small people, old people, customer service people
3. be passionate about something
4. offer me a hug when I look sad
5. say thank you when I do something nice for you

And now for a tiny update…

I did managed to get registered for my Spring class yesterday. I’ll be taking Corporate Training and Development, I think. I mean, I know what I’m taking I’m just not 100% sure if that’s the right name. Everyone says it’s good. I also found out yesterday that I’ll be getting to work on the project I suggested in the current class, but I think my group partners are both undergrads. This could really suck. Wish me luck.

prompted post

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nano poblano, prompted post, random shit that falls out of my brain, team pepper

I am awake at the ass crack of dawn, AGAIN, so I figured I might as well start this Nano Poblano thing. But my brain isn’t really cooperating to come up with something fabulous and fascinating, so you’re getting this prompted bit instead.

What do you carry with you at all times?

Several things actually…

I am NEVER without something to drink. Lithium dries you out something fierce. I have a multitude of insulated beverage carriers with straws because of this.

Unless I’m at home, I always have my cell phone with me. Mom and Josh like to be able to reach me all the times. And honestly, I like the security of knowing I have access to help.

Because I do still smoke a little, it’s rare that I don’t have at least 1 (or 12) lighters with me

Kleenex

Burt’s Bees Lip Balm

prompted post

Tags

happy, intrinsic motivation, money, prompted post, self-worth, stress, work

Would you work for someone who stresses you out even if the money was good?

I decided to roll with this one this morning because it’s a subject that’s actually quite near and dear to me.

My first job when I graduated with my Bachelor’s degree was doing phone-based tech support for a software company who’s product allowed insurance agents to compare rates for potential clients. I enjoyed the challenge and I enjoyed the people I worked with on the team. And I really enjoyed the money.

But it very quickly became apparent that I was a tool for them. They didn’t care if I was happy, they didn’t care if I was feeling valued, and they really didn’t care about what was going on when I wasn’t at work. While I was there Mom had a terrible car accident and had to have surgery on her back. I ended up being the one to take care of her and had to take FMLA to cover my absence. No one there gave a shit.

It got to the point where I was crying every morning before leaving. I was utterly miserable. I decided to start looking for a different job and saw an opening for a position at the IT help desk here at the university. The only “problem” was that the pay was significantly lower. But I applied, interviewed, and ended up taking the job.

I’ve never regretted it.

When my mental health issues finally came to a head, I had support from my boss and my colleagues. When I decided to go back to school – both times – I had support from everyone. I’m challenged, I’m valued, and I feel like I’m part of something larger. I love it here.

I could quite easily make way more money working in a corporate environment, but I know that’s not where I belong. I’d much rather be poor and happy than wealthy and miserable.

prompted post

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love, prompted post

“Is there an opposite to real love?”

As a woman who is on husband #3 and has had countless male companions over the years, I can honestly say that I know what hate feels like. And I know that hate isn’t worth it. That’s like taking poison and expecting the other person to die – it just doesn’t work. Hating someone just lets them live in your head, rent free, and makes you physically ill.

No, not worth it.

But is hate the opposite of love? I would say no, it’s not. However, there is an opposite, at least in my mind there is.

Indifference.