top 10 tuesday returns

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anxiety, bipolar disorder, borderline personality disorder, DBT, depression, effective coping skills, goals, life, meds, mental health, mental illness, moods, motivation, sleep, stress, stress management, top 10, top 10 tuesday

Hiya kids! Welcome to another installment of Top 10 Tuesday. This week I’ve decided to share some effective coping skills / tips & tricks I’ve picked up over the last 9ish years. I need to point out right about now that yours truly has a dual diagnosis of Bipolar Disorder II and Borderline Personality Disorder, so I’ve gone through DBT and that’s where I picked up a good chunk of this.

I’m not trained in delivering DBT and I’m sure as fuck not a medical professional so what I’m offering here are just suggestions for things that I find effective. Your mileage may vary.

M’kay, let’s roll…

1. Control:  First and foremost I would like to remind you, gentle reader, that you are human. (shocking, I know) As humans we are imperfect creatures. We do not always make the most effective decisions when faced with a choice. I would encourage you to strive for gentleness in all things but in particular when dealing with yourself. And do your best not to judge, others or yourself. Judgements can lead to emotional pain and that’s not very effective. Learn to recognize the difference between the things you can control and things you can’t. Do your best to make informed choices when you have control and to roll with it when you don’t. Acknowledge it, learn from it, and move on.
2. Staying Organized:  I thrive on structure and routine. My keys are always hung on the hook in the entryway when I’m at home, in the small outer pocket of my purse when I’m carrying that, or in the top flap pocket of my backpack when I’m carrying it. If I don’t do things the same way every time I confuse myself. By doing the small things like that the same way consistently I’ve found that I can free up some of my limited brain power for other, more interesting to me, things. It also minimizes the stress I would feel should I have to hunt for stuff.
3. Put it on Paper:  This kind of goes with staying organized I guess. Anything I need to remember is immediately documented otherwise it’s gone. I have an app on my phone that allows me to keep a to do list with reminder notifications, I keep a small notebook in my purse and another in my backpack, and I use the Tasks feature in Outlook for my work stuff. This is another stress minimizer. If I don’t feel the stress in the first place then I don’t have to spend time trying to reduce the impact of it on my day.
4. Set Goals:  The weekly goals thing I do really does help me to not only get things done but also challenge myself. I set them to be just a little on the difficult side, but not all of them and not always. I’ve learned that nothing breeds success for me like success. (say wha…?) No, really. If you’re able to set yourself up to succeed you are more likely to succeed again. Start small and build your way up. Try it, you might like it. And I have faith in you.
5. Get Active:  I have learned over the years that few things will help level my mood, reduce anxiety, and help me sleep more than getting a little exercise. My preference is to walk on the treadmill for at least 15 minutes. Lately I’ve been increasing my speed and adding a little incline to make it slightly more challenging and I’m trying to 5x a week. But it is utterly amazing what a difference a brisk walk will make for me.
6. Good Nutrition:  There is a saying in the tech world, “garbage in, garbage out” and it holds true for fuck near everything. If you put garbage (junk food) in your body then you really shouldn’t expect it to perform well. Aim for a balanced diet that includes a variety of stuff including whole grains, fruits, veggies, lean meats, and a little chocolate. Seriously, don’t tell yourself that there are things you can’t have (unless you’re allergic, then totally don’t eat that shit) but try to be aware of serving sizes and exercise a little moderation.
7. Relax:  Make time every day to do something that you enjoy and that you’re good at. (success breeds success, remember?) Your brain and body need some time to unwind and just hang loose. For me this is an every evening thing. At 8pm I take my bedtime meds, turn off the electronics, turn on the stereo, and do something creative. I need that time to feel like me.
8. Know When to Retreat:  Some days you’re the dog and some days you’re the hydrant, that’s just life. There will be times when going back to bed and hiding under the covers feels like the best option. So do it. But then tomorrow you need to get back up and start kicking ass again. It’s a tactical thing really. You retreat, rally the troops, build your strength back up, and come out swinging.
9. Make the Most of What You’ve Got:  My assumption is that we all have tools available to us that could help make our lives a little easier, we just need to identify them and utilize them in the most effective ways possible. The #1 tool in my arsenal is my phone. I have a Motorola Droid Ultra smartphone and I make that little fucker do everything. I have a white noise app to help me sleep, the Fitbit app so I can see my progress during the day and help track my sleep and food intake (when I can be bothered to log that shit), an app so I can listen to audio books while I walk, my task app (with a reminder setup for every night at 8pm so that I don’t forget my pills), email apps for my personal and work accounts, a calendar app that ties in my personal and work info, every mailing address I could possibly need entered with my contacts… You get the idea. I also use pill trays, 3 of them, to keep track of my pills which makes it super easy to see if I forgot a dose of something. It doesn’t have to be electronic/expensive/or fancy, but I bet you’ve got something you can turn into your little personal assistant.
10. Chaos:  I’ve learned the hard way that physical chaos in my surroundings leads to an almost complete inability to be productive. I pick up after myself every night before bed, I put all of my shit at the office away when I leave for the day, and I’m trying to keep the crap in my immediate line of sight at my work areas to a minimum. You might not be bothered by this, but I sure as fuck am. Clutter is an evil thing in my world and I’m trying to eliminate as much of it as possible.

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top 10 reasons I love teaching

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fulfilling my life's purpose, teaching, top 10, top 10 tuesday

1. It gives me a sense of purpose. By teaching someone something I know I feel like a part of me will live on after my body has died.
2. I learn better what I’m going to teach when I have to be able to show someone else how to do it.
3. No two days are ever the same for me, and no two classes are ever the same, even when they cover the exact same content.
4. Teaching gives me a built-in reason to interact with lots of different people.
5. I am a people person, but I do that best in smaller doses. Teaching several short classes during the semester is perfect for me.
6. I really like to help people and teaching has always felt like a great way to accomplish that.
7. Evidently not many folks have patience anymore, but I do. I get told all the time how much people enjoy working with me to learn new skills because I don’t make them feel stupid or get all frustrated when they don’t catch on right away.
8. I secretly always wanted to be a stand-up comic. Teaching gives me a little time to be “on stage” and I am a little funny while I do it.
9. Money means very little to me. You don’t get rich doing what I do.
10. This is the biggie: Teaching makes me feel as though I’m doing something to make a difference in someone’s life. Maybe what I teach you helps you do better in school and get a good job so you can support your family. Maybe what I teach you helps you feel more fulfilled in some way. Or maybe what I teach you just makes you smile. That’s enough for me.

the return of top 10 tuesday

Tags

bipolar disorder, kids, mental health, mental illness, random shit that falls out of my brain, sex, top 10, top 10 tuesday

Greetings kids, welcome to the return of Top 10 Tuesday!

Top 10 Reasons Mama Rents time with Children (instead of having given birth)

1. Bipolar is strongly suspected to be genetic and I wouldn’t wish it on anyone.
2. If I don’t get enough sleep for enough nights in a row, I require hospitalization. Babies aren’t known for sleeping in a predictable fashion.
3. No one really wants a little version of me running around, least of all me.
4. Diapers.
5. In order to even get pregnant I’d have had to go off all of my psych meds for at least 9 months, probably longer. NO.
6. I have a hard time taking care of my own basic needs some days. It wouldn’t be at all fair to a child to have to rely on me for much of anything.
7. I’m selfish and if I want to blow all the grocery money on cigarettes and energy drinks no one is going to call Child Protective Services on me.
8. There is way too much pressure to pick the right name for your baby. I couldn’t deal with that sort of stress.
9. I don’t need a reason to get fatter.
10. It’s way more fun to load someone else’s kids up with candy and junk food and then send their little asses home.

top 10 favorite pieces of bling

Tags

crafting, family, jewelry, top 10, top 10 tuesday

Before I jump into this morning’s post I wanted to give you a quick update from yesterday, or as I’m referring to it, “holy shit, what the fuck was that?” Both training sessions were very well attended and went pretty smoothly. My lovely colleague, K, was amazing as always. The other two made asses of themselves, as I figured they would. My boss put in a cursory appearance at the morning session and then left me to my own devices. It was splendid.

At any rate, I pulled it off like a pro and then went home and collapsed. Josh was kind enough to make dinner and Evie Cat was kind enough not to puke on anything. I relaxed by cleaning out a drawer and a portion of my desk. (y’all knew I’d do something odd like that) And now, on with the show…

I have pretty eclectic taste in most things, and in jewelry my taste is sometimes downright odd (go figure). So Mom suggested that for one of my Top 10 posts I share with y’all my 10 favorite pieces and the stories behind them. Here we go, in no particular order… (pardon my shitty photography skills!)

This little Santa is a brooch that I made out of Sculpey oven bake clay. I found the pattern somewhere the one year and made a whole mess of them for family and friends. He’s only about 2″ across. I’m not sure if anyone else still has their pins, but I suspect this fella is in such good shape because I never wear him.

This is a lampwork glass necklace pendant I purchased from Etsy. It’s got flowers and purple stuff, it was made by hand, and you’ll never see another like it. It is rather heavy, but I get a ton of compliments on it. I generally put it on a flexible silver collar.

This lovely little gem is another necklace pendant in amethyst and silver. I picked this up in a funky little shop up in Madison, WI while I was there at a professional conference for work. It also goes on the silver collar and is quite striking.

Hmm, another necklace pendant that goes on the silver collar! Damn, I am predictable. However, this is blue. A good deal of my jewelry is purple or just silver. This fellow, that I picked up in the beading section of Michael’s (a craft store we have here) for just a few dollars, looks amazing with the rare blue pieces I have in my clothing wardrobe. And I am just as fond of costume jewelry as I am the expensive stuff. Actually, probably more fond of it – I can buy more if it’s less expensive.

This is a crystal necklace I made for myself eons ago, and this picture does not do it justice at all. The center crystal, and most of the bits, were reclaimed from vintage pieces. There is no actual setting for it – everything is tied together in a special way with a heavy duty fishing line. It has the most amazing sparkle to it, partially because the crystals have an aurora borealis treatment on them that make it look like they’re coated in a rainbow. Amazingly lovely.

These are handmade Tibetan Silver earrings that I picked up on a birthday shopping trip with my sister’s in law many moons ago – when I was still married to Rob. I think they were from a little shop in Weston, MO, but I can’t remember for sure. They’re heavy as hell and totally gorgeous.

This beautiful little rose is another brooch. I picked it up at one of the local Renaissance Faires probably a good 10 years ago. I was told that the bud is amber and the stem is silver. Possibly. I remember paying a decent price for it, so who knows. But the detail is magnificent.

I’m quite proud of this set as I assembled it all myself. The fancy earring bits are higher end findings that came from a special bead store. The flower components in the necklace came from the craft store, as did the purple crystals. All of the crystal components had to be wrapped by hand. It took awhile, but it’s the perfect length on me and it’s just so pretty.

This little box is one of the niftiest things evah! That silver bit is a ring that comes apart. All of those square sparkly bits are Swarovski crystals that are the perfect size to fit on that ring. I can match my ring to any outfit in my wardrobe. I’ve taken to wearing this again (it pre-dates Josh) instead of my actual wedding ring because it fits a little better and it is more flexible from a fashionista point of view.

If you’re thinking to yourself, “that doesn’t look like just one piece!” you’re right. This is an assortment of predominantly old crystal pieces that my grandmother left me when she passed. This is mostly earrings and necklaces. One of these days I need to get in there and see what all I’ve got and what could best be done with these treasures. But knowing that I still have this bit of her, in a box marked “Goddess” no less, is comforting.

What are your favorite pieces of jewelry?

well this sucks

Tags

random shit that falls out of my brain, top 10

My mojo is apparently gone.  Dammit.  I’ve been trying to wrap up some loose ends this morning and I’m not getting very far.  And then when I talked to Josh at lunch he didn’t tell me that he loves me.  And I can’t get the damn “listen live” thing for my favorite radio station to work on the computer.  And it’s cold here, bitter fucking cold.  We’re supposed to get a foot of snow later this week.  I fucking hate winter.

So, seeing as I’m in a right foul mood, I thought this would be a good time to share this list with y’all.  Enjoy.

top 10 reasons a teddy bear is better than a boyfriend

1. All the snuggles you want with none of the guilt sex required.
2. Your teddy bear will actually listen to you and give you his undivided attention.
3. If you don’t feel like sharing the bed with your bear you can set him somewhere else for the night and there’s no hard feelings.
4. No morning breath.
5. No morning wood.
6. You can sleep with lots of teddy bears and none of them mind.
7. Your mother will never harass you about meeting your teddy bear.
8. Your girlfriends will never get jealous of all the time you spend with your teddy bear.
9. Your teddy bear will always let you watch what you want on the television.
10. Your teddy bear won’t harass you about coming home from work late.

There may be hope for this day yet – my new purple iPad case just arrived.

not really feeling the love

Tags

life, love, mental health, mental illness, stress, top 10

Josh and I had it out again last night.  Maybe this time things will get better?  Hard to say.  Everything really does seem to be alright at the moment, so I guess I enjoy that for what it is and roll with it.

I’m feeling overwhelmed again.  Broken brain is asserting itself and demanding some down time.  As soon as my boss arrives I’m going to ask her about taking tomorrow off work.  I really just want some time to myself to get some things done that I want to do.  We’ll see how it goes.

I looked back over the list of possible topics and nothing really speaks to me today.  I did, however, spend a ridiculous amount of time yesterday working on top 10 lists.  My idea was to be able to write up a bunch of them and then sprinkle them in on days I didn’t have much else to write.  Today kind of feels like one of those days.

top 10 reasons being mentally ill is the shit

1. Appointments with shrinks and therapists give you an excuse to miss a little work now and then.
2. You get to be part of a chemistry experiment every day.
3. The voices can keep you company when you’re all alone.
4. Tin foil hats are awesome.
5. Some of the most brilliant minds in history were cracked.
6. Your disease doesn’t usually involve a lot of invasive procedures to treat.
7. Character flaws in a normal person are just symptoms of your disease.
8. There’s a whole new dating pool waiting for you in the psych ward.
9. You’ll never again need an excuse for leaving the house in your pajamas.
10. There’s strength in numbers, and honey, there’s a lot of us out there.