I need to preface this by saying that if you find yourself doing any of these things or believing them, I’m not judging you. I really just don’t understand. Feel free to (politely) enlighten me. Honestly, that’s cool.
The Super Bowl is this coming Sunday. People here are making a big ass fuss about it. Evidently more than a BILLION chicken wings will be consumed during the game.
SO WHAT? Grown men wearing what amounts to tights chasing each other for a ball – what about that makes sense??? I don’t follow any sport, even though the hockey team here at the university is allegedly quite good. I just don’t give a fuck. I have better things to spend my time and money on, thanks anyway.
Personal Scent Overloading
There’s an older woman who works here who constantly smells like a cheap French whorehouse. I really think she uses perfume like she should use water to wash the shit off with. TOO MUCH! One spritz is usually more than enough for me. And I’ve been with guys who did this, too. They seem to think that if one decent spritzing is good, dumping half the bottle on must certainly be better. And really, the perceived quality of the perfume has nothing to do with it. Too much stink is really just too much stink.
Eating “Out” Food Everyday
Lots of the people I work with do this, as does my sister. The people here tend to go either to the student union and buy something for lunch or go off campus to one of the gazillion restaurants in this area. My sister just rarely cooks, so unless Mom preps something for her, they tend to eat dinner out damn near every night.
Don’t people realize how much money you can save by packing a lunch? Not to mention how much healthier you can eat without having to eat shitty health food like kale and mystery ingredient green smoothies?
Seriously, I don’t cook fancy and I prefer recipes that are billed as “one pot” or “30 minutes or less” or “even the dog could cook this and it’s also amazing!” I made a soup last night that was cooked in a single pot, took 30 minutes from start to finish, tasted great, and now today I’m going to eat some of the leftovers for lunch. BOOM!
Texting and Driving
This also includes “anything that’s distracting you from your primary purpose for being behind the wheel of a vehicle which really ought to be fucking DRIVING.” I’ve seen people eating food off plates, reading books while driving on the interstate, drinking liquor straight from the bottle, applying mascara (ffs, I can’t even do that while standing still in the bathroom!), smoking pot, knitting (once), and the ever popular texting and/or screwing around with the phone.
I keep my phone in the little console area of the jeep where it is easily accessible in case Mom needs to CALL me while I’m on the road. Truth be told, I’m not even all that fond of taking calls. But I only do it when necessary. If Josh texts me, I wait until I’m safely stopped at a red light to check it. He knows that if he needs me urgently he’s going to have to dial.
Sorry kids, there’s just nothing so important for me that it can’t wait just a few minutes.
Ok, enough of the bitching, time to show off a little…
I took a break from tech last night and got this finished. Mom picked out the colors since I made it with her in mind. I think it looks phenomenal. I’ll be uploading it to Redbubble and Cafe Press soon. This is my favorite drawing I’ve done so far.
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